Are any Mums nervous about the day?

Hi there all brides and MOBs,

I was wondering whether any brides' Mums are feeling worried about the social pressures of the wedding day, and if anyone has any advice about how to deal with it.

My Mum is very scared - we're not getting married at home, so she doesn't feel as if she's 'hosting' the day, and also says she doesn't really know anyone invited to the wedding (which isn't quite true, but it's her perception, I guess). She doesn't really like my H2B's family and is worried about sitting next to his Dad; she says she's going to feel really isolated and that I'm asking her and my Dad to do something very difficult and intimidated.

I really don't know what to do to reassure her. I'm going to make sure other nice, friendly people are close to her at the reception, including my siblings. But otherwise I'm really worried about it - she's very prickly and difficult when she feels uncomfortable or intimidated, and as her daughter I'm always hyper-aware of what she's feeling. How do I make sure she's ok whie not letting the whole problem overshadow the day?

I'd be grateful for any advice - thank you.


  • Hi there eden. My mum was realy nervous about it and i was really worried, but on the day it wasn't too bad. I got her to invite a few people that i know and that she knows ( is this possible?) also, she was a bit nervous about sitting next to FIL2B (and also we wanted it to be informal) so we didnt have a normal top table but all sat in the middle of the room and we were able to sit nice people next to her. I think that this helped. I completely understand how you must be feeling. But once she is there on the big day and sees you looking lovely she will relax, and everyone there will have something in common, and that is you and your hubby. She just needs to look proud and try to relax and people will come and talk to her as she is the MoTB.

    good luck with it.

  • babybukbabybuk Posts: 248
    Hi Eden

    My dad isnt very keen on MIL2b shes really selfish and ruined h2b 21st & our engangement so he isnt looking forward to that but would be fine as hes chilled & laid back but I decided to have an informal top tabel with my mum & dad together and his mum & dad together (his M & d are split up put get on really well)
  • Thanks a lot, soontobemrs and Baby B - your comments and advice are really helpful. We are having a big U-shaped table with people on both sides so my Mum won't be isolated with the groom's Dad - I think she's just very scared. Fingers crossed she'll be relaxed and proud, as you say. Good luck with your wedding, Baby B!
  • babybukbabybuk Posts: 248
    Thanks Eden,

    good luck with yours and I hope your mum has a good day aswell which i'm sure she will
  • banana_jambanana_jam Posts: 2,215
    My parents and h2b's parents have never met and they are from very different social spheres (his family is a LOT posher than mine), so my parents are a bit apprehensive about them. I want them to be comfortable at our wedding, so I'm going to break with tradition and put my parents together and his parents together at the top table.

    My Mum is a bit worried about our family not being as "good" as his family, but she is terribly gregarious and is too excited about being the mother of the bride to let it get her down too much, I think. My Dad is almost as uncomfortable with unfamilar people as I am (although he handles it much better than I do!) so I am a little worried about him, but I'm sure he'll be okay (plus, he is genuinely hilarious when he's had a drink).

    I do feel for you, as we all want our parents to be happy too. I hope your mum's mother-of-the-bride pride takes over soon, Eden - that will help her to feel much happier about the whole thing!! Best of luck x

    [Modified by: banana_jam on October 05, 2006 11:12 PM]
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