My mum is being horrible!

Hi girls,

Really need a boost, and sorry to whinge, but my Mum does not want to part of my wedding (2nd time) she does not see why we are getting married in church although it is my church I have attended for over 20yrs, she doesn't like the minister (female) or anything else.

Her comments to me today were, I hope your not wearing a wedding dress, bridesmaids, don't be ridiculous!, I'm not coming to the reception afterwards, going to be very small only 20 and at a restaurant. How was she going to get to the church etc, I said we would arrange a taxi, or something, no she was not going in a taxi, don't know who you might get. and so on.

What do I do? continue with our plans, I have seen the most fabulous dress, but of course she will hate it. I know its our day and all of that but she is 89yrs and I am the only one shes got. I just wish she could be as happy and excited as I am, marrying the man I have fallen so in love with.

Please give me some advice, at 53ys it should be easy but she is ruining everything

love to all who are getting married on 26th July 08!!



  • yasminb1234yasminb1234 Posts: 1,177
    hello. maybe have a word tell her shes important on the day 2 you and u want her as happy as you are. tell her to relax and get ur h2b to make a fuss of her and try. im not being rude but they are more difficult when theyre older, so set in a way. just u enjoy n buy that dress!!! xxx
  • Hi.

    Def buy that dress. I have total sympathy for you, my mum is in her 80s and won't come to my wedding (my legs are too bad, it will be too hot, the m.o.g will look better than me, etc)

    Im afraid that you can only do so much for your mum, you offered a taxi she refused, fair enough let her sort out her own transport!

    Its your day, if you want st pauls cathedral and 20 bridesmaids then have them!!

    She will probably get angry over everything, but she will eventually get over it-mums always do.

    Have a wonderful wedding day.

    T x
  • anna333ukanna333uk Posts: 344
    Sorry to hear about your mother. Please try not to let her spoil your day...My mum is 79 and has got meaner and more demanding in her later years..She didn't help with my 1st wedding 20 years ago, so am ignoring the family now and having wedding dress , bridesmaids, the works,

    I hope you can rise above it and enjoy your day even if you haven't got her blessing! x
  • sueduksueduk Posts: 12
    Hi girls

    Saw my mum yesterday and she really upset me, its only 57 days to our wedding, but after spending weeks trying to find her something to wear, finally bought last week, she says she won't be coming. She is 89yrs and yes its 2nd time for me. Her reasons she doesn't know my fiance, his family are too loud!, we are making too much fuss, he hasn't sold his property yet so shouldn't be marrying me until then, how much money does he have etc etc.

    I was so upset, tried to tell her I am marrying him cos he's kind caring and a wonderful man, her answer rubbish, i am going to make the same mistake again, no i am not as 1st was violent and abusive.

    What do I do hope she will come, phoned her today and agian all she did was make me cry!

    At this rate i am dreading the day any suggestions

  • brett2bbrett2b Posts: 790
    Hi sued, I think your mom (like my nan) was born in the days when you got married once and you stayed with that person whatever happened literally til death do you part. Times have changed so much but the older generation often don't change with it. My mom remarried last year and my nan didn't like all the fuss and said she wished they could just go and do it quiety somewhere.

    I'd try not to take it personally though, maybe she just doesn't understand it. I'm sure what she wants for you most of all is for you to be happy which she will certainly see on your wedding day!

    In the meantime, I'd grit your teeth and share your plans with your girlfriends! Remember it's your day, you will be marrying the man in love and that will shine out above everything else. Sometimes old habits die hard, but I'm sure you will have a great day when everyone sees you so happy and in love.


    [Modified by: brett2b on May 30, 2008 12:51 AM]
  • kazzy47kazzy47 Posts: 264
    you have my sympathy sue im sure your mum will come around, try include her in things ask her advice let her think your doing things her way, my mum is 70 but a very young 70 doesnt look it, my dad is 73 he has 4 daughters and 3 of us its our second time he said its getting like a circus lol he doesnt mean it i said to him if you dont want give me away thats fine i have a 23 year old son who will, he said no thats ok i will, they just like have a moan gives them something live for bless them lol
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