My Mum's not the Nutter I thought she was!!

Hey Girls

Just an update for you.. I'm realsiing what a rollercoaster this whole wedding malarky is!!

Last week I was tearing my hair out with my folks being really negative about the wedding and dissing everythign we suggested.. I have been avoiding talking to my mum for a week or more.. Spoke to my sister who said she was fed up of hearing about both sides..

She told my mum how upset I was and asked her to call me.. My mum said it hadn't hit her I was actually getting hitched and they were being unrealistic about plans because they didn't understand.. Its all been sorted out now.. A firm word about any final decisions being mine and H2B's.

Everyone happy now.. I know we are going to have lots of upsets, my mum is very controlling and likes getting her own way.. says daft things, then regrets it when I am really angry.. she knows there is only so far she can push me before I snap..

I know now I have to keep it all in perspective and learn to say NO!! xx


  • wright_joannawright_joanna Posts: 123
    Clayrebear that's great news; hope the rest of your planning goes smoothly. Good luck!

  • clayrebearclayrebear Posts: 2,481
    Hi jlw..

    Sorry erase that last comment.. she is a nutter, its so up and down I caun't cope.. she now says that with her illness, she probably won't be well enough to come to the wedding now.. I'm so sick of it always being about her!!!

    My H2B and I are arguing because he gets really angry with my folks behaviour, then I get all defensive.. last night I did not sleep a wink, and am so tired today. image

    Things are really not running smoothly because my folks are being so spoilt.. Its up to me to go to them and say when we decide they can see the venue.. mum just says she's sick of being left out.. GRRRR its just always about her, wish she's just bide her time, keep her nose out and just let us get on with things....
  • wright_joannawright_joanna Posts: 123
    Are your parents contributing to your wedding?

    Mine our giving us a sizable chunk but we're paying the lion's share and have kept them out of all the decisions which I'm sure has led to some of the issues now.

    Whoever said that wedding planning is exciting, fun etc must have outsourced the whole planning, money, decision process to someone else... mine's been anything but!

    It's your day, keep reminding them of that. We only took our parents to the venue's wedding fair and that was there only involvement! Alternatively, say that you're busy with work or something else so not had chance to focus on progressing wedding plans and then when she mentions about this task, that task; just say, good idea, must look at that when I get a chance and don't mention what you're doing. It's not nice not being able to openly talk about the wedding planning and perhaps this has led to the fact it's not exciting as I had thought it would be...

    Keep your chin up. Remember this site is a good source for bouncing off ideas and getting some great ones... I've found it so hopeful and wish I'd logged on earlier in my planning stages; it's become an extended family of impartial views... so refreshing!! image

  • clayrebearclayrebear Posts: 2,481
    Thanks for the support..

    My fella thinks this website is brilliant because I can have a rant and he can keep out.. he just gets cross.

    We are paying the lions share, my H2B's folks are contributing a grand, and my folks probably the same.. So really most of the decisions are ours surely.. We are saving like crazy and will also take out a small loan for a brilliant day!!

    I think the problem is, my dad is not very enthusisatic and refuses to talk about any contributions, so we don't reallly know.. but then just moans because he wants to be involved, but make it really cheap, he has not idea of cost..thinks its all a waste of money..

    My mum however is just being really pushy, every time I speak to her she jumps down my throat about progress, and it really makes me back off.. we've booked the venue and church and at the moment cannot do much more.. my mum wants full involvement.. I know she's excited but wish she'd wait for me to ask her for advice, when the time is right for me.. If I don't ask her straight to see the venue, she gets all huffy and says, well if you don't want me involved and I get all the emotional blackmail and mums bottom lip comes out..

    I'm finding it really hard work.. no fun at all!! I think its because we live in the same city as my folks.. when I lived miles away, I got no hassle at all..

    Oh what joy!! xx

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