Church Drama

Hi Newly weds

I really need some help finding a chruch to have the ceremony at. I live in Enfield ( middlesex) and all the churches are saying that i need to be living in the Parish. Ive seen some beautiful churches with beautiful settings for lovely photos and because i dont live in the Parish, I cant use them.

Its really stressing me now as I dont know what to do. Ive always wanted to get married in a beautiful church, in a beautiful the moment, it look very unlikely.

Getting Married Next year June and wondered if any newlyweds could help and know of some nice churches

xx image


  • To quote from the CofE website

    Lots of people marry in their own local church, but we know that you might like to marry in a church away from where you live because it has special significance for you through family or other connections.

    An engaged couple can now do just that if either of you can show just one of the seven connections with the parish listed below.

    You can marry in a CofE church if you can show:-

    That one of you:

    has at any time lived in the parish for a period of at least 6 months or

    was baptised in the parish concerned or

    was prepared for confirmation in the parish or

    has at any time regularly gone to normal church services in the parish church for a period of at least 6 months or

    That one of your parents, at any time after you were born:

    has lived in the parish for a period of at least 6 months or

    has regularly gone to normal church services in the parish church for a period of at least 6 months or

    That one of your parents or grandparents:

    was married in the parish

    In all cases involving church services - i.e. going to normal church services, baptism, confirmation or marriage - this applies only to Church of England services. Even if you cannot demonstrate any of the above connections, we want to help you explore whether it may still be possible for you to marry in your special church.

    Talk to the Vicar there well in advance to discuss the options open to you.

    Hope that helps.

  • lisaoswinlisaoswin Posts: 126
    There are certain "pre qualifying connections" that you can use to get married in a church outside of your parish. If your parents were married there, you attend regularly etc.... have a look on the C of E website it should explain it all there. Maybe pick one and go and meet the Vicar?

    You'll still have to have your Banns read in your parish church too.

    Good luck!
  • MistyxxMistyxx Posts: 1,679
    We are getting married in a church outside both our parishes.

    I believe the rules only changed quite recently allowing you to wed outside your parish.

    We have to attend church once a month for 6 months, in order for us to join the electoral role at the church.

    Hope this helps x
  • jenhukjenhuk Posts: 165
    Do you even go to your local parish church? or are you wanting a pretty venue.

    If you go to church you may be able to ask your vicar to liase with another parish. But if you don't go to church then you may struggle.
  • fewsearsfewsears Posts: 318
    We are getting married outside of our parish too - it is actually up to each individual vicar so its worth checking
  • ktlou277ktlou277 Posts: 257
    So you want to get married in church because it's a nice setting? Not because you're wanting a religious service? Maybe thats why you're struggling to be allowed to marry in those churches that you like?

    As far as I'm aware if you want to get married outside of your parish and don't have any of the connections listed below by Tantrums then at the least, you'll need to attend a regular church service and be put on the electoral role for that parish. You still have to have your Banns read in your local parish church and the one you want to get married in. It's not down to the vicar individually since they bought in the new rules - I had a hard job and I have 2 connections to the church I want to be married in and regularly attend services at another! They needed certified proof of everything before confirming our date! So if someone else can just turn up and get married there because they think its beautiful, thats a bit unfair!

    Personally (as harsh as it may be and I'm certainly not having a go) I don't think you should get married in church if you're only doing it cos its pretty!
  • fewsearsfewsears Posts: 318
    Shiny Elephant, we arent having to do any of these things and are being married in a church out of our parish....i queried these at the time of booking and the church is an open church and our vicar believes anyone should be able to get married in it.

    so i'm afraid you are incorrect and sounds like you are coming across awkward people.

    We tried to get married in the village i grew up in, that my mum and dad still live in, and that i still own a house in, the vicar wanted us to fill out oodles of forms and was so so difficult, we decided to go to the church in the next village.

    I think you are being a little harsh getting married is a life long commitment and if she wants to do it in a church then that is up to her, someone snootily looked down their nose at me when i said we are having Jerusalem as a hymn as its not religious, sod off it is our choice and thats what we are having. Neither of us are particularly religious and have been christened.

    Go for it Miss Diamond and stick at finding one image
  • eb01aaaeb01aaa Posts: 183
    You have the personal choice to get married in what church you want to get married in. Unfortunately, there are rules about getting married in CofE ( as Tantrums states above)

    If you are getting married in June and don't live in the Parish it may be a bit too late for you to satisfy the 6 months criteria.

    I am a regular church goer but didn't want to get married at my regular church and my vicar totally respected this, he even kindly recommended us to the Canon in charge of our chosen church. We made our intentions known from the start but he did make us attend for 6 months and get on the electoral roll before discussing dates with us. Luckily, we got the date we wanted. Here is my advice;

    If you do go to church, speak to your vicar and he may be able to refer you to another church?

    If you are not too concerned about the legal bit performed at the church, ask your preferred church if they will conduct a blessing instead and go to the registry beforehand?

    Hope this helps and goodluck! xxx
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