Marriage Blessing - how individual and personal can you make it? Your experiences please - either...

We are going to meet the vicar this afternoon to discuss thoughts and arrangements for our church blessing - but as neither of us have ever attended a blessing we are a little bit lost as to how individual it can be! We were just going to have a blessing with the two of us but now, due to lots of reasons I won't bore you with, it looks like it could become quite a 'do' with 100 people there (who cannot attend our very small reg office wedding)

That is fine, but I don't want it to become a 'second wedding' or The Real Wedding .... our real wedding is the quiet register office.

I would love to hear from anyone who has had their marriage blessed and what they 'did', but also thoughts from guests at blessings - did it seem like a wedding, did the choice of music work in a blessing, did you have orders of service etc???

thanks in advance


  • RowenaFWRowenaFW Posts: 2,078
    I think most people I've heard of have the blessing on their wedding day between the civil wedding and photos/food, so it IS part of the wedding day.
  • ElleblueElleblue Posts: 206

    We had a Blessing when we got back fom honeymoon. We got married in a Civil Ceremony but my husbands parents are quite religous and they offered to host it for us.

    It is quite similar to a wedding ceremony - I chose to 'walk' downt he aisle with my Dad again however you dont have too. We had 2 readings and prayers and you sort of re affirm your vows and the vicar asks the congregation to support you.

    It was clear it was a blessing & as we only had about 10 guests (close family) it was really intimate & romantic.

    Hope this helps x
  • purpletulippurpletulip Posts: 679
    I've been to a blessing. Friends of ours had a registy office wedding when she was 6 months pregnant & didn't want a fuss! They just had 2 witnesses there & no family. It was simply just that they wanted to be marrried before their baby arrived. They'd already booked their wedding blessing for 12 months later & combined it with a 'naming ceremony' for their baby. It felt exactly like a wedding. They wrote their own vows, exchanged their original rings, had a harpist playing as her dad walked her down the aisle, she wore a very simple floaty wedding dress, had bridesmaids, a sit down meal, canapes, champagne, speeches etc etc.. No orders of service but it was at a hotel - so no hymns.

    I'm sure you can make it as much or as little as a wedding as you want to.. however if you're inviting 100 people, most of which aren't going to be at the registry office, I can only think that they will see it as your main wedding event.
  • shellbo8758shellbo8758 Posts: 108
    I'm having a wedding blessing the day after I get married.

    On the Saturday I am having a family only ceremony and wedding breakfast for 42 people, then my big night do at a different venue for an extra 100 friends and extended family.

    Then on the Sunday at 3pm we are going to a friend's of mine (he's a vicar) church for a blessing. We will walk in as man and wife and declare our love as a married couple before God.

    This way it will not be like a second ceremony more of a blessing as the name suggests, we will have a reading from the bible and I think both are mums are wanting to say something about our families joining together.

    I have left an open invitation for this, I will wear a different dress and it will be a very informal laid back affair and a perfect end to our wedding weekend.

    Hope this gives you a different perfective. image
  • thirdthingthirdthing Posts: 582
    Thank you for your replies!

    Our blessing would take place about three weeks after our small register office wedding and be followed later that day with our Evening Reception for guests who couldn't be invited to our small register office wedding (about 38 guests there)

    Our vicar has stipulated we must enter the church together as we are married, and have no bridal march type of music and that I should wear something smart but not my wedding dress - which - even though I didn't want this to be like a second wedding - disappoints me a bit as I know a lot of the guests (relatives and friends) hoped to see me in The Dress! However, it isn't that important. I could change into my wedding dress for the evening party! Also although he will bless the rings he does not touch them, we simply extend our hand towards him. No confetti either - but that is fine with me.

    I think what I am finding hard to get my head around is that the blessing will actually have more people attending than the marriage - but of course, that is how it has had to be having to move our wedding to a small register office 350 miles away so that my h2b's step dad can get there. And yet, even though it is in a church with lots of guests, and hymn singing etc, and prayers for our mariage and the blessing prayers for the marriage I won't be in my wedding dress.

    Perhaps I am just 'sweating the small stuff'!!!
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