What do you wish you'd known then that you know now?

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  • CetaceaCetacea Posts: 654

    I agree with the 'must have' shot list, we weren't too bothered initially but now that people have started uploading pictures, my mum has realised there's not really one of us together which is a bit upsetting (still waiting on the professional ones), I was going to say something to the photographer before hand but then forgot and thought it would happen 'automatically' seeing how she was going to be close all day but now we're both anxious! 

    Also if you're obsessed with photos - like myself- and tend to take 200+ pictures on a regular day out, don't expect other people to do the same! Most people only took a handful and think it's loads! I now wish I'd asked someone to be a bit of a 'back up' photographer just so I had a couple more before the official ones! 

  • I third the bridesmaid one and I'm getting married in 10 months. I picked my 3 oldest friends and my sister. I haven't seen 2 of the 3 friends since I asked them and they have barely been in touch! I've tried to arrange a get together 3 times now but one of them is always 'busy'. image

  • MrsBeau2BMrsBeau2B Posts: 1,513

    Be organised! Even if people take the mick and call you a brideszilla. I was uber organised and i am so glad, we had nothing to do in the week before the wedding other than collect suits/dress and drop bits at the venue - i went and got my hair and nails etc done and had such a nice relaxing time. Even on the morning of the wedding, everything was sorted and ready, we knew when everyone was arriving and where everything was, so it was relaxed and fun - we drank champers while the dream team worked their magic!

    Oh and all those little details you fretted over? You wont even notice them on the day, even if they are left out/put out wrong / the wrong shade of lilac.. dont worry about them!

    Hire a photographer that can offer an assisstant.. or have your own friend / family member on hand for veil/dress adjusting/ picking bits off grass off you following artistic laying on the grass shots(or whatever!)/ holding your champagne etc etc.. our photogs assistant was invaluable and such a massive help

    Take a deep breath before walking down the aisle.. and ENJOY!

  • CetaceaCetacea Posts: 654

    I'll have to disagree slightly on the little details, some of them went wrong at my wedding and I noticed & fretted- although only briefly and noone else noticed or caredimage

    One thing I wish I'd done was make sure I had indigestion tablets with me (thought I had but forgot them at home), after all the nerves, loads of food and dancing, I felt a bit nauseous in the evening. I managed to fix it with a combination of vodka and mint chewing gum but would have really appreciated something to settle my stomach! 

  • MrsBeau2BMrsBeau2B Posts: 1,513

    Oh no, i realised later in the day that the two candelabras at either end of the top table had no glass tops/candles in them and looked really odd! The venue had put the glass bits out thinking they were votives and not put them on the candelabras.. i forgot about it almost instantly though!

  • MrsSabsMrsSabs Posts: 560

    bump - any newlyweds with words of wisdom?

  • Hi ladies , 

    after my october wedding my biggest advice would be is just relax and enjoy it . The day wizzes by in what feels like minutes and all the last minute panics will be for nothing . In my previous post i said that i hoped h2b wouldnt get too drunk - he didnt yay image . In fact no matter how much we drank i didnt feel even slightly tipsy ( although my video message to h2b proves otherwise lol) . If you can get a videographer . We got students to do ours and even though its a bit crap i love it. The drunken video messages were fab . 

    There are some things i wish i could change but the whole day was amazing . Id love to do it all again . Id have cut the netting out of my dress . It made me hot and quite uncomfortable . Same with getting rid of underskirt and bustling dress up . I wish id done it earlier or worn a smaller dress . I spent lots of the night outside cooling down instead of dancing inside . I wish id have not spent months panicking about family opinions / people getting on . Everyone had an amazing day - the huge amounts of alcohol helped lots image

     

  • Oh and all the little details do matter . All the guests commented on our personalised stirrers & straws , toilet baskets , table names , love story signing frames & kids activity boxes . everyone took things home as reminders of the day and the photobooth went down a storm ! Well worth all the DIY when people say to you that you thought of everything !! The toiletries in the ladies loos were all used . 

  • ah all these are so fab i'm taking notes! Any more ladies? x

  • I'm loving this thread image x

  • BexgreenBexgreen Posts: 505
    How did people cope with their emotions on the day - im so emotional at weddings at the best of times that i feel like im gonna be a blubering wreck at mine.
  • Bex i know how u feel... Everytime i hear a love song since weve started planning i start blubbing!

  • BexgreenBexgreen Posts: 505
    Glad im not the only one cakeybride image
  • Geek GirlGeek Girl Posts: 145

    My big one is make sure you've got someone trustworthy (not drinking) who can oversee the packing up of the venue stuff at the end of the night. Thanks in part to an overzealous team keen to get the area where I'd got changed in the morning locked up before the main reception was over, a lot of stuff in the room I got changed in got chucked in a box and left by the door to be taken by groomsmen at the end of the night.

    This included our signed wedding certificate in an envelope (chucked in the bottom, crumpled with lots of stuff bundled in on top of it) and my handbag which, thanks to things being taken to various cars in the dark at the end of the night, ended up being dropped in the car park.

    There was no harm done, because it was discovered the following morning, but spending your wedding night worrying whether you should be cancelling your debit cards and then having to ring the venue to ask what happened with the stuff from the changing room was not my ideal way to start married life, and was the one negative of the whole process for me.

    We'd been so organised at every point in the process and bridesmaids/groomsmen were all ace, but we kind of all assumed it'd be fine for them to relax a bit once the speeches and official bits of the day were done. Of course there was this one last job - and it was the one point of the day the venue staff were a bit rubbish, although understandably this was because they wanted us out so they could go home. It did cast a bit of a shadow over the end of the evening though.

    Otherwise I second the person earlier in the thread who said to ignore all the people who say 'it's your wedding, have it how you want' until you suggest something they disagree with at which point they'll have their say. We got round this by mostly not telling people anything (easier when you're paying it for yourself admittedly!) - and even the few things that people did know about in advance caused a stir (H2B's grandmother was at one point threatening to bring her own 'proper' wedding cake because the cake of cheese wasn't REALLY a cake - until she was firmly told she'd be sent home if she dared).

     

  • Ah great thread. I would say, have a great photographer who you can do a venue recce with and sit down to discuss all the important shots- any details you want, formal pics required and who with (though try to keep it short as I swear it's tedious), etc.

    One thing we did do, that I would thoroughly recommend is a 'first look', which is basically seeing each other before the ceremony to have pics taken of the moment. Sounds cheesy but it actually wasn't. The benefit was: it cut the amount of time spent having pics afterwards (bonus), I was not nervous for the ceremony, I got to see the look on his face the moment he saw me (really important to me, and I'll never forget it). We also had a chat and calmed any nerves. We then had pics with BM's and Ushers etc, drank champagne and it was really fun! @Bexgreen this also meant I got all the emotion out of the way (I burst into tears at first! Oh and so did our coordinator and photographer's assistant!) but then I didn't cry during the ceremony or even the speeches, I think it really helped as otherwise I would have been quite emotional and VERY nervous! Also if, like us, you have a winter wedding with a 3pm ceremony you lose the light quite quickly so getting essential shots taken first reduces the pressure afterwards and obviously frees up more time for you to chat to your guests and say hi! I totally understand if people don't want to do this though, but if you're not set on tradition I would recomend it image

    We also had recommendations to take 10 minutes out at about 10pm, once the party is in full swing, and go somewhere quiet to take it all in. We actually forgot to do this but I still think it's a good idea as you might not have spent too much time together.

     

     

  • I'm loving this thread lots of really helpful tips image

  • I thought I would be really emotional... I had spent the lead up crying at the drop of a hat (no change there then...) and everytime I thought of the wedding I would well up. When the actual time came, I was beaming so much, I didn't shed so much as a tear. I am sure all the emotional brides (yes, even those fellow brides that bawl at Don't tell the Bride.... every flippin' week!) wont cry when the time comes.

    Excited, happy and even an inner calm yes.... just don't forget to BREATHE! And enjoy xxx

  • Mrs CapeMrs Cape Posts: 133

    The one thing we wish we had known before the wedding is that the second we said our vows we wanted every one to go away and for it to just be the 2 of us.... ha ha how selfish does that sound but we wish we had known we would feel like that because we would have saved hundreds!!

    The only advice I would give as a bride is stop, every few moments to really take it all in, enjoy it, take pictures of it, revel in it. You take your first sip of champagne as you are getting ready and then you blink and you are taking your last sip of champagne in the evening. I am not joking when I say it goes so so fast! x

     

    xx

  • MrsSabsMrsSabs Posts: 560

    Our wedding day is in 46 days.  This weekend we have been let down by a few people who were helping out with the day, including the cake making.  This is not the first disappointment we have had.  I wish I had been more prepared for this.  I thought certain people would be glad to be involved in the day (not money wise - we haven't asked for a penny - just time wise, lending a skill) but their enthusiasm has waned and now we're stuck just a few weeks off with no wedding cake & not much budget left to pay for one.  I have my fingers crossed that we can sort something out this week!

  • Emma 1919Emma 1919 Posts: 86

    Hi Sparkle I get married on 22nd March too! image

  • hautocrafthautocraft Posts: 263 New bride

    Loving this thread, I'll check back for more messages soon image

    Anyone have opinions on whether to have a professional do your bridal make up or do it yourself? 

  • MrsMc9814MrsMc9814 Posts: 422

    I'm definitely having someone to do it for me - I'm no good with make up at the best of times, haha!!! Want to be pampered too so I think it'll be a nice touch!

  • BanariBanari Posts: 1,847

    I would say get someone professional to do it for you. They know what works well for making the most of features for the photographs.

    the little things do matter and will get noticed on the day. So many people have commented about the 'little touches' and all the 'effort'. Lots have people have commented about how we even carried the theme through into the toilets (I put globes and wicker hearts in there and the florist out in flowers) and a few female guests have said how grateful they were for the toiletries in the loos. We didn't bother putting any in the mens! 

    The main thing I'd say is lists are your friend! I had lists about lists image It was so helpful and whilst people laughed about my lists including my timeline for the morning - they made the day run smoothly and meant I could relax knowing that everything was done and people knew what they needed to do when they needed to do it etc! 

    Have a shot list with your photographer but keep the formal shots brief. again lots of people commented  on how great it was to not have to spend ages waiting for us to be done with photos before they could talk to us. We did our couple ones as people were getting seated for the wedding breakfast and I'd really recommend that as you will have more time to talk to your guests during drinks reception. Our photographer also grabbed us about 9.30ish for some outside evening shots just the two of us and that was a great idea too as it meant we had some us time mostly with the photographer there but when she'd finished we had a few minutes together to just be like - ahhhh were married.

    finally choose an upbeat song for the last few songs of the night rather than a slow song. It means everyone gets on the dance floor and single people don't feel left out. Infact not just single people my hubby never slow dances so at a lot of weddings I miss out on last dance too and didn't want that at my wedding! We had Never Forget and Mr Brightside as our last two songs and the dance floor was rammed! Such a great end to the night!

     

  • Messy2be wrote (see)

    I've realised you can't please everyone!! When someone says "do what pleases you" apparently this only applies until you do something they don't agree with! X

    This is so true! Both my parents have said to do exactly what we want - which is to get married abroad- but my mum reckons no marriage abroad is legal unless we tie the knot here first, and my dad says we can't expect people to give up their time and money to go abroad for a wedding. Looks like we won't invite anyone then!!

    also on the bridesmaid front (by the way I'm not married yet) my experience of being a bridesmaid was not great. My friend asked me when she told me she was engaged and of course I said yes, but they didn't get married for 2 years and we drifted apart in that time. Long story short - I ended up organising a hen do that the bride hated (cause she wouldn't say what she wanted and I didn't feel like I knew her that well anymore) and I had a rubbish time on the big day until we sat down for the meal and there was booze! if I get asked again I would seriously consider before saying yes! So think choosing maids nearer the time is a good tip!

  • LouBLouB Posts: 1,129 New bride

    I echo everything Banari says! It sounds like our day was so similar to yours image We had Never Forget and Mr Brightside as our penultimate and last songs of the night, too! It was so much fun! Great taste, obvs image

    The flip flop basket went down a total and utter storm - people are still raving about it now! I wish I'd bought more flip flops as even the evening guests put them on very early in the evening. You can never have too many £1 pairs from Primani I guess!

    I wish I hadn't tried to be the events manager (which is my day job) - I found it really hard to step back and let other people do the running (when it came to music it was tricky as it was my brothers band and my other brother was in charge of the playlist, and the PA system wasn't loud enough to announce our cake cutting or first dance, so lots of people missed it) But that was my only gripe and in the grand scheme of things it didn't matter.

    I wish I'd known how thirsty I would be and how nothing would quench it! I was drinking gallons of water and I was still so thirsty... But I guess there's not a lot you can do about that!

    And I agree re: the crying. I cried reading the card from my husband in the morning, but after that I was just beaming all day. Could not stop smiling. So I would say don't worry about crying if you are overly emotional in the run up - it's not something you can control, if the tears come, embrace it - people will think it's lovely, and if they don't come, you'll be grinning like a Chesire cat! image

  • LouBLouB Posts: 1,129 New bride

    Oh and deodorant is your friend. I was so grateful of the one in my toiletry basket! Wedding dress + mad dancing + underfloor heating = sweaty bride!

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