What do you wish you'd known then that you know now?

Hi everyone!

I will be marrying my fiance 10 months today on Saturday 22nd March 2014.

I was wondering if anyone has any general hints or tips to pass on.  For example things that you know now that you wished you had known in the run up to the wedding or on the day itself!

Thanks ladies!

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  • heliganedenheliganeden Posts: 1,848

    Put someone responsible in charge of the photograph list, our best man kept wandering off and was no help, so we ended up with no picture of me & both mums, or of my OH and both dads, and quite a few others missed off the list too!

  • LittleRed_10LittleRed_10 Posts: 1,453

    My wedding is yet to come but I have learnt a lot through planning

    1) To begin with planning is very blissfull, but sooner or later you start having inevitable run ins with other people- the guest list threads are a massive example of this!

    2) you'll never have enough money, there will always be something else you want!

    3) although a free flowing atmosphere is nice it usually takes military organisation to achieve it!

  • little red....so very true!x

  • mandy503mandy503 Posts: 2,066

    Wish I'd known that no matter how much people (ie aunts and cousins across country) clamour for an invite and are 'desperate' to be there, they don't even bother to RSVP and we ended up massively over catering! 

    Wish i'd relaxed and had a bit more pampering for myself as I felt I spent the entire time making sure everyone else was looked after and that all the details were perfect that the day itself and the actual getting married bit is a bit of a blur (but don't get me wrong I loved every second of our day, and given the same budget i'd opt to diy the whole thing again!)

    Mostly I wish I could have known to really focus on taking every little moment in - the photos are great though for helping to remember everything!! image definatly insist on a really good photographer!!

  • El-JayEl-Jay Posts: 15

    I agree about people not replying to RSVPs .. My h2bs family and friends are in England, and after lots of them saying they'll be there they've cancelled .. Which means I can now invite other members of my family, but since I've already sent them evening invites I feel cheeky now telling them "There's room for you now"! Also .. Do things your way, don't let anyone decide stuff for you image

  • SparkleSparkle Posts: 26

    Thanks everyone!  We've still got 10 months but so far we have the venue & food etc, bank, photographer, celebrant and my dress!  So going well so far!

  • MrsKLMrsKL Posts: 23

    Not from my experIence but from a friend's brother whose photographer went bust- get wedding insurance! We went with John Lewis xx

  • PandemoniaPandemonia Posts: 58

    Don't be persuaded into having/doing things that you really don't want. Avoid any conversations that start "but people will expect"...or similar. 

    My recent wedding day was perfect from start to finish. Not least because unlike my previous wedding, nobody interfered and tried to impose their version of a wedding onto mine.

    Also, take time to relax and reflect during the day. The time will go soooo fast and you want to remember every moment of it.

  • RinaGeeRinaGee Posts: 751

    2) you'll never have enough money, there will always be something else you want!

     

    THIS!!!!

    I'm not actually married yet but it feels good to hear that you can have the wedding you want without spending hundreds of pounds on everything

  • katieg2gkatieg2g Posts: 61

    - Add at least 50% onto your budget

    - If you are getting married in the UK but have lived overseas for a while, don't forget about VAT! image

  • Messy2beMessy2be Posts: 151

    I've realised you can't please everyone!! When someone says "do what pleases you" apparently this only applies until you do something they don't agree with! X

  • PandemoniaPandemonia Posts: 58

    Following on from Messy's post, I'd say that anyone who uses the expression "do what pleases you" generally means quite the opposite.

    I'd also add that sometimes it is far better not to go into too much detail where some people are concerned. Because they'll have opinions that don't need to be shared and won't be helpful. So be thoughtful about how much information you hand out about things that aren't anyone's concern but yours.

  • J H-OJ H-O Posts: 148

    My only wish is that I had taken in the church & my husband before I walked down the aisle! I was so nervous I looked at my shoes all the way down - so silly!!!

    On a practical note, the photobooth was worth every penny and we put silly sweets (tattoo and candy watches) which also, surprisingly, went down a storm even with the oldies.

    Something else that got unexpected attention - we invited the queen & put the framed  reply by the card box - people loved it & kept asking 'is it real?!'

    Afterwards be prepared to be very tired - I slept for the first 3 days of my honeymoon!

    We just wanted people to have fun & think we achieved that. Have a wonderful wedding & enjoy every minute xx

  • nicki126nicki126 Posts: 248

    These are really helpful!  Wish there was a like button on here!!

  • SparkleSparkle Posts: 26

    Thanks for your replies everyone!  We've got 9 months today to go and have all the big things sorted including my dress. We'll do the smaller things like chair sashes etc nearer the time to make sure we don't change our mind!  All your tips have been really helpfull.  What I'm mostly getting is enjoy each moment!

  • BanariBanari Posts: 1,847

    This thread is fab ... Loving everyone's tips! 

    Sparkle I was also 9 months yesterday!We went to see the venue again and was so excited! image

    Please keep all the tips coming...ta image

  • Get someone to (not useless h2b) to check your photo list. I forgot thof photo of the wedding party, didn't get one of the bridesmaids and ushers, forgot a formal one with my mum. Or get a friend to make sure you have informal posed shots with key people - you will forget. I have a rushed one with my best friend, and none of me with just my sisters. 

    Gutted. Yet h2b managed to get one with each of his ushers and every single member of his family. Mainly cos he had nothing else to think about as I was left to organise everything.

    still had a fab day though xx

  • Agree with the photo thing. Lots of shots I wish we'd had but my mind went blank on the day. I remembered on the evening to ask for him to grab each usher and bridesmaid and get them with their partners.

    Also, think about the value you're really adding to the day with each chunk of effort you're putting in. I knew a girl who tried to do everything- hand prints, wishing tree, pick 'n' mix, photobooth etc. and then got upset when she realised some of it hadn't been touched.

    We were going to name our tables and put pictures on them but then realised people wouldn't remember/care about that really so we stuck to numbers which was easy.

    Photobooth and pick 'n' mix went down well.

    Also I'd say trust your dj. We had a friend as a dj and he played a lot of r 'n' b which wouldn't have been my choice but everyone was on the dance floor enjoying it. I have been to weddings and events where the couple have chosen the playlist and it just hasn't worked and it's kind of sad that nobody's dancing.

    I'm not sure if anybody cared but when I saw the photos of the wedding ceremony, on the groom's side all his family were in the first few rows (behind groomsmen) and on the bride's side my mum and dad and bridesmaids were on the front row but then the rest of my family were dotted around, near the back etc. and I wish I'd instructed ushers to keep some rows free or put name cards on the pews.

    I also wish I'd thought of instructing my husband not to get completely wasted and had had a chance to keep an eye on him as he was such a state and ruined the end for me. Most adult men are able to control themselves at their own wedding though.

    Enjoy it, because it's rubbish not having a wedding to plan anymore! I keep wandering into whsmith and going to browse wedding magazines and realising I don't get to plan my wedding any more!!!

    xxx

  • Tofujen - thats my biggest fear . That H2B will get so bloody drunk that he'll miss half of it . Or, when hes drunk , he sings right in my face and tries to get me to dance with him by throwing his arm round my neck ( which drags my hair out . Not an attractive look for a bride lol. 

  • Sparkle im 23rd March aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh image youll be married a whole day when i say i do!

    When are you sending your invites out? Were doing it next month and ppl have till 1st Dec to RSVP ill just facebook stalk everyone whos been asked as they are all on there! ha Are you all sorted now? x x

  • Weddin crazyWeddin crazy Posts: 1,743

    How much alcohol did you all serve with your meal And would you change it? Our drinks package is glass of champagne on arrival and for toasts and half bottle wine each during meal. That seem a lot, I don't want everyone to be drunk during meal

  • mrskg2013mrskg2013 Posts: 1,192

    I got married last friday, we had the best day ever and hope all you girls with your upcoming weddings do too.

    Here are a few tips and bits of advice...

    The day goes so quick, if possible invest in a videographer, there is so many parts of the day i cant remember so it will be nice when we reciee our dvd of the day.

    Dont let things worry you if all doesnt go to plan. Luckily our day went as planned, however the flowers were different to what i was expecting, this was a good thing though as it made our wedding more personal and i wasnt just using the image of someone elses flowers. I would never of chosen pink gerberas to be ncluded in the centre pieces, thy looked great, really modern.

    As for hubby getting drunk, try not to worry about it. My husband rarely drinks and when he does i end up having to look after him while he is sitting with his head in the toilet!! However, hubby has about 10 peronis through the day and evening and felt fine. He did have a few soft drinks in between as it was so hot last friday and he didnt want to become dehydrated. He said he didnt feel drunk in the slightest too.

    The biggest thing i would do differently is how i chose my bridesmaids, i ended up having five. One being my sister who was great, the other four being cousins who i have drited apart from and arnt as close with as what i was two years ago when the planning started.

    It was the only thing that was a nightmare through the whole planning, they didnt help one bit, (i didnt expect help with the planning but i didnt expect to not hear from them for over a year) if anything they made it harder, as i bought them their dresses, jewellery shawls and flowers and various other bits and pieces but they were really difficult to get in touch with and on the day i barely spoke to the bms, they sat in the reception room looking miserable, i tried to make an efford with them but they wernt interest.! I didnt let it get to me though and my husband and i had an amazing day/ evening.

    All im saying is choose carefully who you have because looking back id choose my sister as a sole bridemaid. Mainly becauseit would have been a lot less stressful. 

    image

    Also another good thing to remember, make sure you take some time out with your new husband to take everything in!

    We had half an house after the drinks reception and before the wedding breakfast. It was nice to take things in and have some time together.

    sorry if ive gone on a bit in this post, just hope i can be a help to others getting married soon.

    image

    x

  • nats2013nats2013 Posts: 6,253

    to all those setting up your own weddings and taking on lots of pressure to do things yourself.... dont bother going on a diet. i tried for the last 18 months to loose weight, upped and downed just a few pounds, got down to a nice weight and put most of it back on, dieting, exercise, everything... well turns oput i neednt have bothered because i lost 2 inches off my waist the week before the wedding because i didnt have time to eat or sleep, i was running on adrenaline and on my feet for 19 hours a day and it turns out that burns more calories than jillian michaels and i was so hyped up on the day i partied until 3am feeling the slimest ive ever felt. i dont look at a single picture and think...hmmmm wish id not eat that pizza the week before. 

     

    making up for it now of course. we've been living off takaways all week and its great!

  • nats2013nats2013 Posts: 6,253

    oh and try not to worry about people getting drunk, its a wedding its what people do, if you dont provide it they will just buy it. we massively over stocked up on wine but we invited adults and only one person was sick drunk and he wasnt even drinking the wine

  • EmmyR1984EmmyR1984 Posts: 438

    If someone is acting like a pillock please don't do what I did and get drawn into an argument, I ended up missing a good chunk of our evening reception because of this. image

    Try and get some time alone if possible. I know everyone says it, but the day goes soooooo fast you'll blink and it'll be gone.

    Also, if you find yourselves feeling a bit down after the wedding if some things don't go to plan, have a look through photos that friends and family have uploaded or your professional ones and the good memories will come flooding right back image

  • Looking back on things, I wish my husband and I spent more of the night together.  We got married in the US (I'm a Yank) and had a fairly international bunch of guests.  Unfortunately, this lead to us being pulled in different directions by different sets of family and friends- often only seeing each other in passing!  I loved celebrating and catching up with everyone but if we could do it again, I'd have a chat with him about trying to stay together a little more.  I think it's important for a couple to experience as much of the day as they can together.  When we look back on our day, the memories we share are the ones with the most meaning for the both of us.  It's also a great way to meet the other side AND get more pictures together! 

  • oh2bmrsjoh2bmrsj Posts: 569

    enjoy every minute of it as it flys by soooo quick !

  • MrsSabsMrsSabs Posts: 560

    These are all great...I'm taking notes!

  • This thread is fab,I'm not married yet but I already second the bridesmaid choice one,things can really change in a year and I would defintaely wait until closer to the wedding to pick bridesmaids if I could do it again! Thanks for the tips! xx

  • Bing9Bing9 Posts: 22

    Hi - just back from honeymoon and seriously jet lagged, but glad we had an amazing day.  I'd say whether your wedding is big or small, use experienced professionals for things that are important to you and book them asap. And give friends and family things to do with good notice too, but be clear about what you do and don't want. Probably my best investment was 6 phone calls with unlimited texts / emails with a wedding coordinator. V cost effective. 

    Be prepared to let go of any details that might rob your joy on the day. My husband made my day perfect despite my dad getting so drunk he had to be taken back to his hotel with my stepdad doing the speech and half our guests missing the wedding due to major pile ups on both motor ways!

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