Christmas as a Couple

Hi ladies,

I think there may have been a thread similar to this last year, but I thought it was worth doing again.  Can I ask what peoples' plans are for Christmas this year, either as a newly wed couple or as an engaged couple? Are you doing anything special? Are you facing any new challenges?

Our biggest challenge is always finding time to spend together, whether it's the holidays or any other time of the year really. My OH travels a ton for work, plus has a bundle of young children that obviously require a lot of time & attention (especially toting in the car to and from school and multiple activities). 

I'd love to think of something we could do, but my options are limited  He is traveling from 12/11 - 12/21 and then leaving again on New Year's Eve. We were going to try to organise a 3-day weekend getaway this weekend, but we've already canceled the "getaway" part, partly due to activities at his childrens' school on Friday. We still plan to have a nice meal out and do some Christmas shopping. I know I should be very grateful we at least have this time together (he was gone 3 of 4 weekends in Nov, plus another whole week on another trip)...but I can't help but feeling a bit down about it all. I put the tree and decorations up all by myself...and was really gutted when no one even commented

I want to live vicariously: tell me about your plans!


  • We are having our first christmas together, we have been together 9 years but always shared Christmas with our families separately rather than together. this year we are staying at my parents for Christmas, there will be 15 of us in total there, including my new baby niece and australian family so we are both very excited. Then we are having a second Christmas at his mum's on boxing day. We will be doing Christmas at eachothers families always together from now on but alternating each year on whos family we will spend actualy christmas day with. god knows what we will do when we have kids haha. 


    I hope you have a lovely christmas, i know he wont be there much in the lead up but you will have a great time with him when he is there. maybe you could put a pic up on your decorations on here so we can all appreciate them! x

  • BekhaGBekhaG Posts: 584 New bride

    This is our first year as husband and wife- awww. We always spent xmas with my folks but they moved to Spain at the beginning on 2014 and flights are ridiculously overpriced at that time of year so don't see them now  Last year we spent it with my husband's family (we usually see them on boxing day and will do again this year) but we decided this year we'll have Xmas day alone for a change so we're on our own timetable and I can have a drink (I'm the only driver so usually always driving home xmas night boo. I'm not a big drinker but its xmas!! lol) This is also nice for me as I'm working till 5 on xmas eve and have a long commute home, then back in straight after the bank hol, so really want a rest on xmas day before a family day on boxing day.

    We'll sleep in, Skype my mum and dad and open our presents from them, go for a walk (if its dry!), cook and eat our meal, open our pressies from each other, then stick some films on. Bliss  Getting myself some nice champers for the day.

  • K.K. Posts: 58

    We're flying out for a break on the 20th and returning on the 24th, well spend Christmas Eve at my parents then on Christmas day he'll drive to his parents and I'll stay with mine. We've been together coming up to 10 years and haven't had a Christmas together yet as we figure there'll be plenty of time for that when we have kids and for now are happy doing our own family things. Well regroup on Boxing Day :)

  • lubeslubes Posts: 1,555

    hey kitten,

    i can totally sympathise with you being a work widow! my H2B easily spends over half the year away from me. i get used to it and then struggle to adapt when he comes home and makes a mess again :') i haven't spent the last three birthdays with H2B as he was working away, so i understand that you may feel a bit down at christmas! you are not alone :)

    to be honest, (here comes the scrooge) we are both from families who simply tolerate christmas because we have to! H2B's parents rock out a festive twig about a week before christmas day and take it down on boxing day, my mum puts out her knitted nativity scene (lol) and my dad doesn't bother with decorations - you could walk into his house and it could be any time of the year! i am normally so exhausted from work by the xmas holidays that i have no energy for it and spend most of my two weeks off horizontal! 

    this is our one and only christmas as an engaged couple, but we are doing everything pretty much the same as we always do. i guess it would be nice to have the families together, but my dad lives three hours away and is getting a bit too old to do all the driving. that's maybe why i don't get in the festive spirit as i don't get to spend it with both parents! we go to H2B's parents for lunch, my mum for dinner and then potter about. in and around xmas, we have some friends coming over from california so it will be nice to see them. we have a tradition of going to london to see my dad and do winter wonderland in hyde park. it's a nice way to break up the week between xmas and new year. H2B and i will probably stay in for NYE though - he used to DJ every NYE so he appreciates not having to work until 4am anymore! we will quietly toast to our big year ahead with the fireworks on TV :)

    we are lucky to get the time off together though. we appreciate christmas for giving us a chance to catch up with ourselves without the stresses of work and see friends. if only it wasn't so ruddy dark and cold!!! x  

  • MrsLjCMrsLjC Posts: 1,202 New bride

    We've been together for 5 years and for the first 2 years we went to both parents and had two Christmas dinners 😂 (My parents at lunch time and his in the evening)

    Couldnt keep that going so went our separate ways for the last few years. Was weird last year as he proposed Christmas morning! We went to his mums to tell the news then he dropped me off at mine and he went back to his! This year will be separate again but next year (as husband and wife - eek!) we'll be having everyone round at ours and I'll cook my firet ever Christmas dinner! 

  • This will be our first Christmas as husband and wife. we have been together almost ten years. Had 6 years of separate Christmas days and saw each other in the evening/night and then when we moved in together we go to my parents for dinner and then he goes to his parents for a bit in the evening whilst I'm at my nans (mother in law hasn't spoken to me for almost 8 years). We are also going to be beginning to TTC baby Rowlands #1 over the festive period so that will keep us busy and if we lucky to have a baby next year I think Christmas will change for us then definitely. when we have children I wont want him leaving us to go and see them so hoping he'll visit them Boxing Day xxx

  • This will be our fourth Christmas together and our only one we are engaged.

    Last year we went to my parents (up north!) which my partner LOVED as he said "they do Christmas properly". The year before that we had seperate christmas as my Grandpa was very poorly (his last Christmas) so I went up to Scotland with the family and partner spent it with his mum and sister. Before this we spent two Christmasses with his mum/sister and then went to his dad and his wife's on boxing day.

    This year we are having the day just the two of us, and from now on Christmas day itself will most likely be just us pair - if we are lucky enough to have some bambino's then it will definitely be just us as I said I am not traipsing around to both his parents during the day or spending alternate christmasses at three sets of parents lol!

    This is also the first year that we are spending "big" (around £300) on each other as normally we have had a £60 limit as we have been saving to buy our house (which we shuld be moving into at the beginning of Jan!) so it has been lovely being able to buy him some nice bots and pieces. I like spoiling people! xx

  • MrsTwizbeMrsTwizbe Posts: 3,352 New bride

    We host Christmas so my parents come to us. My brother is invited as well, but often spends it with his GF's family.

    My in laws live 5 mins from me so we have Christmas morning at home with my parents, have out lunch and then head to his mum and dads for tea in the evening. His parents host the rest of his family (uncle, aunt, sister, grannie and 2 cousins) and we have a huge Xmas all together.

    We used to alternate before our house was finished, but hubby didn't like my family Christmas as it was too quiet and sober :-) He loves it now that he get to have his big family Christmas as well.

    I should think this will continue as long as we live where we do, but the numbers will just get bigger.

  • Kitten2014Kitten2014 Posts: 1,489

    I'm so surprised how many of us on this thread have spent all/ many previous Christmas' apart from each other (going to separate family events)!  It is consoling to know that at least we do spend Christmas Eve & Day together (if not the run-up).

    Good luck to you Mrs Rowlands on the baby. It would be lovely to hear back from you in a few months that the little one is on the way :)

    AutumnBride30, hosting is definitely exciting! We haven't decided yet (!) whose family is doing Christmas Eve/ Day, but I'm definitely throwing our hat in the ring for a chance at it this year. i really enjoy entertaining family. And cooking. Love making food people love. It makes me happy.

    Lubes, it's good to know I'm not the only work widow. Do you ever feel like you are (the only one)? I feel like no one else I know knows what it feels like to have a spouse gone so much. I wish I knew some military wives - they could relate! I'm glad yours doesn't have to DJ NYE, it should be really nice for the two of you to experience that together this year. Your mum's "knitted nativity" visualization made me lol.

    BekhaG, you plans sound amazing. So relaxing. I absolutely love watching my favorite films (it's always the same ones with me!), but have so little time to usually be able to relax and do that. Your day sounds perfectly cozy :)

    Rosie91, I might do just that - post some pics. Maybe start a thread asking others to share their "Christmas Together" pics. It could be cute!




  • Hey Kitten,

    Christmas is such an odd one, I haven't visited my parents on Christmas day for 8 years now! I tend to have to work Christmas Eve and a couple of times I've lucked out and had to do Boxing day as well. My Mom works Christmas day and is always exhausted when she gets home early afternoon so there's no real point travelling the 150 miles to go home.

    This year I am with the in Laws. I was there last year and it was a full house, 8 adults and 2 children, but will be a quiet one this year.just the 4 of us. We will stay in our house Christmas eve so we wake up together in our house. Our house purchase should have just gone through by then and this is our first Christmas living together! Plus I want to wake up to my fur babies. We will then have a day with the Ms and I will be designated driver to.come home Christmas night ready for work Boxing day. I am hoping to go north to my family next year as I will no longer be working in retail and I'll hopefully be pregnant :) the in Laws love to party, my fiancé managed to drink £300 worth of champagne on Christmas day last year, so will have a quiet teetotal one with my family when I'm pregnant.

    I hope everyone has a brilliant day whatever they do.xx

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