A question for all newlyweds..........

Is there anything you would do differently if you had the opportunity to re-plan your big day?



  • I would make sure i paid a bit more money for the photos its so important. Even though i had a great photographer with a great CV he actually lost a load of the photo's. He was a professional photographer but not one of weddings and i would make sure i had a specific wedding photographer...

    Secondly...we didnt end up having a video of the wedding and i really, really regret that....

    Other than that it was PERFECT!!!

  • Mrs_AmandaMrs_Amanda Posts: 3,284
    I regret not having the day video'd too.

    Apart from that, although we had quite a long list of little things that went wrong, I doubt I'd have changed much, even the hiccups added something to the day.
  • That's interesting, you know we weren'tgoing to have a videographer, but now both of you mention this, I will speak to my h2b and suggest the idea. Bit strapped for cash now, but I guess it would be something which will get its money's worth over the years!

    Thanks again for your advice, if there is anything more from any newlyweds..........


  • I would'nt change a thing x

    Sorry not very helpful!!! image

    [Modified by: missshell on August 12, 2007 12:10 PM]
  • Mrs_AmandaMrs_Amanda Posts: 3,284
    We (by that I really mean me) were adamant we didn't want it videod. I hate having my photo taken and the thought of seeing me on film horrifies me.

    But, I really regret it. There were things we both missed - he missed my arrival and the processional. I missed watching him get nervous!

    Neither of us can really remember the vows, or the speeches. I was bullied into giving a speech so it was completely off the cuff, and I have no real idea of what I said.

    Kicking myself for being so stubborn now :-0
  • brentuk1brentuk1 Posts: 3,071
    like everyone else I wish we had a professional video - my best friend Ruth (Mrs Sanby) did a video for us. But i would have liked a profesional one as well - so that I could remember seeing my dad's face when he saw me in my dress for the first time - when i started walking to meet Rob at the top of the aisle, oh little thinks that you remember but don't remember your reactions when they happened.


    Samantha xx

  • nataliedcrnataliedcr Posts: 1,759
    we only had a cheap photographer and he was brilliant, the pics are amazing. i would just make sure u look into their work as much as poss before booking. a woman at work paid £1000 more than me for her pics and they're crap.

    i think i would have really regretted not having dispoasble cameras on the tables, it's only a small expense and we have some classic pics back from them. asking guests for copies of their pics just takes ages but at least you can get them back right away.

    i don't wish we had a videographer although we did have about 5 relatives filming different parts of the day whch is good. i would def make sure that you at least have a couple guests filming if you can't afford the real thing.

    i don't think i would have done anything differently. i found that on the actual day i didn't even care or notice if the small things went wrong ( whch they prob did but i can't remember) it was perfect.

  • ellybeeellybee Posts: 1,381
    A lot of you have commented on having a video, well we did and I can honestly say it's my favourite memento of the day, even more than the photos. We've definitely had our money's worth and I know we'll watch it in the future as well. We only paid £325 so there are bargains out there!

    Ummm, things I'd/we'd change....

    - Wear sunscreen! I didn't think about it and my shoulders were a bit pink and sore.

    - Road test your undies - I didn't and my beautiful knickers were so uncomfortable I couldn't wear them!

    - Don't sweat the small stuff - I worked myself up over some daft stuff in the run up to the day and really I needn't have, it was all great

    - Have a stand by pair of shoes! I had to change my high heels part way through the evening and had some glam flip flops for the purpose but I'd stowed them in honeymoon suitcase which I then had to dig through frantically to find them,

    - Eat some cake - I didn't get a bit of ours which I'm annoyed about in hindsight. My mum made it and I tasted the "test runs" but didn't get a bit of the actual cake

    Err, that's really all I can think of.

    It really was a fabulous day! I loved it so much.



  • CantW8CantW8 Posts: 154
    If i could turn clocks back, i would have liked to have listened to my dad more who was arranging catering buffet, instead I went for a friend & on the day she didn't do a good job.

    I would like to have had disposible cameras on the tables so guests/family can take some so that we can look at photos that guests have done to look at a different angles etc.....

    Otherthan that we try not to focus on the downsides cause it will haunt us for the rest of our wedding memories.
  • eeping76eeping76 Posts: 927
    i would bring the buffet tapas from norway to the dinner in singapore. then we will have time to eat as well as chat with guests.

    eating was the only thing i've been talking about for the whole year before the dinner and yet that was also the one thing we didnt get to do as told by married friends when one wanted a traditional sit down chinese dinner.

    we didnt have a professional photographer but our pix turned out not too bad. but maybe during our first anniverary and hopefully if there is an additional member in the family, we might want to take a studio pix with him/her and re-gown ourselves for the big day image

  • rebeccag2brebeccag2b Posts: 350
    If I could change anything I would have made sure I helped by groom prepare for the speeches better and also my dad. It sounds weird but neither are natural speakers and as I wasn't making a peech loads of things got missed out. I should have give them a list of who to thank but I didn't and a few people got left out. Also I would've walked back down the aisle more slowly, people wanted photos but we were so excited we raced down and hardly anyone got one.

    Apart from that it was perfect, the happiest day of my life, bar none xxxx
  • Jess17ukJess17uk Posts: 2,381
    I would have made sure i stayed in a hotel room the night before with all my bridesmaids and also got ready there/changed there, rather than at my Mum's we were squashed for space and time.

    I would have actually made sure there was someone to light my tealights etc. I would hve spent a little longer at my own wedding. I never got to eat any of the evening buffet or taste the other tiers of my cake!! And i never got to enjoy the chco fountain cause there were too many kids and i was too scared to get my dress ruined. Other than that things were perfect
  • Excellent question Valentina, and thanks to all the newlyweds for your thoughts. I'm going to take a few ideas back to my H2B for discussion.
  • B2BukB2Buk Posts: 381
    Like others have said before our day did not go completely to plan but it mattered not a jot. It really is the most amazing day of your life - believe!

    The only thing i would change would be to have given ourselves more time for the wedding breakfast perhaps by getting married earlier. We had a buffet which was absolutely fantastic - just what we wanted- so good that people were going back for seconds which we did not take into consideration when planning the timing and it put us back so our evening didn't really get under way until about 8.30 - an hour late. My husband and i were leaving at 11pm so it was all over a bit quick and i would have liked to dance a bit more with him - he was being v sociable and chatting to everyone whilst I threw myself around with all the girls though which was great fun.

    Like i say when all is said and done it didn't matter and we had a perfect day - things do happen that you just can't plan for so just gotta go with the flow.

  • chagalinchagalin Posts: 616
    We also didnt have it videoed and i cant work out if i regret it or not. I would love to be able to sit down and watch the day but the reason i/we didnt want one is that neither of us like having our piccie taken and i know if a cameraman had been there i would have been SO SCARED!

    Knowing we weren't being filmed made us relax so much more and hubbie and bestman did fab speaches.

    I think the day could have been VERY different if we'd had the added pressure of filming. We went to a friends wedding a few weeks after ours and their cameraman followed them everywhere. He filmed us chatting for a while and i just froze, it felt so uncomfortable and i went really 'fake'.

    I just remind myself that we chose not to have one for a reason and for me, it would have really changed the atmosphere of the day.

    Hope that helps anyone with these doubts.

    My other regret is not having a dance with my dad, hubbie didnt dance with his mum either. I've no idea how we missed that-i think the dj went from our first song straight into dancy music so the moment was lost! xx
  • WhinfieldWhinfield Posts: 372
    I wish we would have video'd our day! Beforehand I just didnt fancy having a camera stuck in my face all day but I really wish I could watch the vows over again. I would defo recommend booking one if you havent already.

    Katie3007 xx
  • helens0891helens0891 Posts: 208
    We were never planning a videographer but my now father in law and uncle both did videos, we haven't seen the editted version as only got married on Friday but I would definately recommend it as they really captured my husbands facial expression when he saw me and lots of other lovely things that we would have forgotten xx
  • Saint-BertieSaint-Bertie Posts: 6,678
    spending more time with MrSB during the evening! We met up for the first dance, a song (we had karaoke) and couple of times to introduce each other to some of the evening guests. Didn't manage to get round all the guests and there were some I wish I had more chance to speak to.

    We didn't have a professional videographer and at the last minute one of our ushers (who is the BEST usher in the world, am thinking of hiring him out image ) set up his camcorder just in front of us and then edited it whilst we were away and gave us the best DVD today. He caught the whole ceremony, speeches and has even done titles, photos at the end whilst our song is on. The only thing he didn't get was my Mum's reading during the ceremony but that was because she was out of shot and he couldn't help that.

    Might be worth asking someone if they could do something similar?

    Honestly, its worth it. Even if its amateur with a mate doing it. Do you need all the fancy stuff a professional does as long as you get the ceremony?
  • So, so , so valuable - all of your top tips, thank you to you all! It's nice that you can share your valuable experience with us who are about to walk down the aisle shortly and are worried stupid about forgetting anything along the way.

    Thanks again but keep them coming, I log on every day to read them!

  • claireb2bclaireb2b Posts: 105
    this is a really good question got lots off things to think about now and this i will deffo get a dvd done off the day also i never really looked in to are photographer but after reading these posts ask a few questions and found out i was going to be his first wedding so have decided to go to a wedding photographer so THANK YOU ALL and congrats to all off yous.CANT WAIT TILL ITS ME !!
  • I would have paid more attention to the contract i had with my original photographer to ensure she was happy with what we wanted, so that we didn't lose all our money.

    Apart from that i wouldn't have really changed anything. The venue was amazing and the food devine. Things went well but it all added to the fun of the day. I agree with the post above which said don't sweat the small stuff. I got stressed about loads of things which didn't matter on the day.
  • I would have remembered to take my toileteries bag back to the hotel so that I would have had my hair brush, make up and glasses with me the next morning, as it was I couldn't see any of our friends during breakfast! image

    We had a family friend video the day for us which was great, but the registrar wouldn't let him film the ceremony which I would love to see again.

    I wish I hadn't got stuck kissing everyone on the way out of the ceremony, my husband got away and was outside drinking Pimms! image

    Our barn had a mezzanine over the dance floor and I wish we had told people they could use it, me and David snuck up there during the evening to watch our guests which was a great moment but it's a shame it wasn't used more. I also wish more people had signed our guest book so maybe we should have made an announcement about it during the speeches.

    I think the only other thing was that I was so nervous and had to try hard not to cry when I walked in and during the ceremony so I can't remember it very well, but I guess you can't control how you're going to feel and I like to think that my little dramatic pause during my vows - when I really had to try hard not to cry! - added to the sincerity and emotion of the day!! image

    Like some of the other girls have said, things go wrong on the day - we had an ipod loaded with background music for the drinks and meal but the volume was playing up so we had to turn it off - but on the day you won't care as you'll be too busy having a fab time. I agree with some of the others about not getting worked up over the small stuff that no-one else will notice.

    I want to do it again!!!!! image

    [Modified by: aylesburyruth on August 23, 2007 02:24 PM]
  • We had the BEST day and everything was perfect - the only thing that did go wrong I figure was a trade-off for everything else being brilliant! I was really really laid back about all our suppliers and for the most part that worked really well, apart from the cake-maker. The cupcakes were a disaster and so my mum and FIL had to do an emergency dash to Waitrose to get replacements. It did show that most things are fixable, and no-one notices the small stuff. Just relax as suppliers have done it a million times before, and only go with people you are comfortable with. Our best decision was to have an Elvis impersonator - he was amazing and although everyone was a bit shocked to start with, it really kicked things off and everyone has commented on how much they enjoyed it!
  • I would have relaxed a bit more - the whole day passed in a bit of a blur, especially saying our vows. I also wanted to boo my eyes out during the vows, and got a bit of a headache from bottling it all up!

    I didn't get to speak to everyone and because I had organised most of the event with my mum, so I was worried that everything was going smoothly, and kept on checking rather than catching up with everyone, and given more budget would have got someone to do that for me.

    But overall, I loved it. One of my friends said keep taking a look around every once in a while so you don't miss it, which I did, and that was a great piece of advice!

    I would love to do it all again - it was an amazing day, and all the brides-to-be are very lucky they have it all to come! X

  • My one biggest regret is that I zoomed down the aisle, didn't really realise how fast til i watched it on dvd (brother video'd all the best bits) I can only remember seeing a few faces as i walked down, and only managing to spend about 10 minutes alone with hubby after reception as we had a packed day. But other than that and a few little hiccups I don't regret a thing. We danced all night to the band which I said i would do despite everyone saying you won't have time to dance you will be chatting with everyone.

    It's your day, do it how you want to and you won't regret a thing, wish we could do it all over again!
  • Only two things, and they're both teeny:

    1) I never got to eat any cake.

    2) I was going to tell the DJ to play No Tomorrow by Orson as our second song as we both love it and thought it'd be good to have a lively one after our slow dance, but didn't get round to it. I wish I had now, as although people did come up and dance after our first song the music was a bit bland (not all night, just the few after the first dance).
  • Three little things.

    1) I would have booked another bus company to transport our guests. Not that the one we had did anything so terrible but they did cause a kerfuffle at the end of the night which I could have done without.

    2) I would have made sure I ate some of the canap????s and cheese. I never got any and apparently both were excellent.

    3) I would probably not have changed out of my heels. My feet weren't hurting that badly and changing into flats (which my dress had not been designed for) meant that I kept stepping on my skirt so that the train, which was partly held up by a snap, kept coming half down. Easy to fix but a bit of a pain after the third or fourth time!
  • faithukfaithuk Posts: 229
    Like everyone else, i wish we'd hired a viedographer, my mum's other half offered to do it for us, and he got the main bits, ie the ceremony and the speeches, but that's about it, he didn't even get our 1st dance, but being as he offered to do it for free i can't really complain

    Also, I had worked myself up into such a state of nerves, that for the entire week preceeding the day i felt sick every day (prompting my mum to beg me to do a pregnancy test!) and on the day itself i almost ran up the aisle apparently, and didn't eat any of the wedding breakfast, including our amazing sachertorte wedding cake! i hope that's not bad luck!! i sat there with a glass of iced water and a bowl of fresh strawberries as it was all i could face!! so i strongly recommend booking loads of pamper sessions in the final days so you don't have a meltdown on the day.

    That's it though, everything else was perfect, and i felt fine for the rest of the day besides my little wobble during the meal. Make sure you get at least 10 mins with your new hubby to take it all in, and just have a moment together, because it really will fly by, and there's nothing you can do about it! so just savour every moment.
  • emdtemdt Posts: 612
    thank you ladies... with 16 days to go this is very helpful! just called a family friend to do the video.

    and sugarmini, thanks for that advice, i can feel the stress building so i'm going to make sure i build in some relaxation!

  • Really interested to hear how you all feel about the video- it was something I was not planning on, but having read so many comments I will have a rethink. I am looking into photographers at the moment and wanted to ask how people felt about their photography budget generally, but now I am thinking that perhaps I should get a cheaper photographer and a videographer as well. Thanks very much for such a useful thread x
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