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First dance........... WHY?????

Is it really necessary to have a first dance. The thought of having to perform in front of all the guests absolutely fills me with dread. We've been having lessons and I can't get passed the first few steps, it's like I hit a wall, I just freeze. The more I try to do it the worse it gets. I'm absolutely terrified of having to do this but my fiancés heart is set on us doing a first dance.

do we really have to do it? Who says its traditional and got to be done?



  • bella2015bella2015 Posts: 1,903 New bride

    You don't have to have one if you don't want to. I've been to weddings where there was no first dance. However this is something you need to agree between you and your fiance.

  • Ashley72Ashley72 Posts: 1,136 New bride

    Instead of doing something choreographed where there is more chance of it going wrong or causing nerves, maybe just pick something you can stand and sway or gently move to and then ask the DJ to call other couples on to the dance floor 30 seconds in! That happened st my friend's wedding and it was fine, by the time they had got on the dance floor and had time to think about what they were doing, everyone else was up Too So it took the pressure off but they still got a couple of nice pictures of the moment. 

  • We're not having one! My friends got married last year and they didn't have one either and no one even really noticed. 

    We're planning on having a toast to open the dance floor and then playing a banger and having our 'first dance' with our friends and family all together. 


  • We're not having one. I told H2B no way. The choreographed ones make me cringe, the non-choreographed ones also make me cringe. We never slow dance together, for us, it's not a fitting start to our life together. This is one wedding tradition that we are definitely casting aside. :)

  • Ì personally think if you don't want one it doesn't matter. Maybe get the DJ to let eveyone know the dance floor is open so they aren't waiting for a first dance to happen. 

    Just do what you want to do. It's your day 😊 x

  • HailsHails Posts: 2,455

    Calm down! You don't have to have one if you do not want one.

  • gill17gill17 Posts: 568 New bride

    We didnt have one and nobody batted an eyelid or asked about it. If you really don't want one then just don't have one, can you talk your fiance round? If not then just do a really short shuffle and then get everyone else to join you after 30 seconds. If you are nervous already i definitely wouldn't be doing a choreographed thing! 

  • SadieeeSadieee Posts: 1,781 New bride

    Just do a normal sway-ing one for a minute or so and then get the DJ/whoever to invite others on to the floor.

    We will have our full first dance, but not doing choreography or lessons, just a good ol' 90's style school disco swaying action haha :D;) I like the first dance though and the song is one that is so important to me that I am looking forward to it :) maybe it would help if you ensured your song was one that meant something rather than one that just sounds good?

  • My fiancé was dreading it too so I said we could just cut it! It really doesn't matter in the grand scheme of the day - as long as you get married that's the main thing! It needs to be a decision between you and your fiancée but just tell her how you feel; I knew my fiancé wouldn't enjoy himself if he had to do the first dance as he'd be worrying all day and on the day itself I couldn't have cared less! :) 

  • Jenni8Jenni8 Posts: 3,201

    Yes please don't panic about this. You live in a free world and you can choose to do whatever you do or don't want to do, it is your wedding day! No one says you have to do it.

  • SammykateSammykate Posts: 4,014 New bride

    No you don't have to do one. And you are making it hard for yourself by trying to do a choreographed dance! It's much easier to just sway and do a couple of spins.

    However, if your fiance really really wants to do one, could you do something like a group first dance? Where it's not just you but the bridesmaids and parents and their partners as well? Takes the focus off you a bit.

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