Wedding List stress

Hi everyone. After my invitation stress now I've got the wedding list stress to look forward to ... My entire French family has been asking my mum about the wedding list. They are all very keen to get us presents! My H2B and I can't really agree on what to do. We don't need too much as we've been leaving together for 2 years and have just bought a new house. However I thought that it would be good to have a few nice things like glasses, a nice dinner set, a proper expresso/cappuccino machine,etc. My H2B agrees but think that we should ask for some cash. I don't really like the cash idea. Then, there is the location problem as 3/4 of the people will come from France and the rest from England and South Africa. H2B wants list in England as easier for us but I don't think it's fair as most people are French and stuff are cheaper in France! Is anyone out there getting married outside the UK? Help!


  • Hi Stephanie, I feel uncomfortable about the cash idea too, although I know some people feel OK about it. Do you think many of your guests might have internet access? A lot of lists can be online now, which might help your international problem! John Lewis and Debenhams are both good. And Amazon has just started doing one, which I've been looking at today. They've got lots of kitchen gadets as well as cameras/electical equipment and books/CDs/DVDs, which are great if your home is already quite well equipped. I've thought of having two lists (how greedy is that?!) at John Lewis and Amazon, to cover different types of things in different price ranges. Have you thought of having two lists for different countries?
  • hlittlehlittle Posts: 445
    We are also looking at the company 'Wrapit' who will incorparate items from different shops on one list. If you want other things they will try to do that for you, and guests can buy contributions towards particular gifts without having to buy the whole thing, which I like the idea of. They also have showrooms you can visit, and guests can order by ohone as well as over the internet.
  • juliabird1juliabird1 Posts: 158
    We're planning on moving this time next year from a 2 bed flat to a 3 or 4 bed house. We get married in November so dont want to ask for gifts as we dont really know what will suit or fit the new house. Theres nothing we NEED as we have everything already as I have had my own place for years. Do you think its ok to ask people to contribute to a 'voucher fund' at Debenhams or John Lewis so we can buy things for the new house once we have moved?
  • Julia, as part of our wedding list at Debenhams they have given us a gift card that people can put money on to if they so wish, and as a thank you for having our gift list with them they put £50 on to it to start you off!
  • juliabird1juliabird1 Posts: 158
    Im quite keen to go with Debenhams as its a very worthwhile freebie! Old scrounger that I am! Do you think the principal of the idea is ok though or a bit objectionable even in this day and age? I mean its only a fraction away from asking for money! H2b agrees we would be daft to go asking for things while still in the flat and likes the idea of having enough 'vouchers' to buy one big thing.
  • hlittlehlittle Posts: 445
    I've been to weddings where the couple have asked for contributions towards a voucher fund, and I haven't found that objectionable at all, particualrly if they explain that they are out of space, or planning something for the future.
  • hlittlehlittle Posts: 445
    OK, here's a dilemma. H2B has just come home saying that as we don't 'need' anything, he'd like us to ask only for charity doantions. I have thought about that myself too, but there are some items that I would like, and I'd also like to be able to look a things in the future that we can say were wedding gifts. we would like to help some of the projects we have visited whilst travelling, but I'm not entirely comfortable with guests feeling obliged to do the same. Oh now I just feel really shallow and materialistic. We're spending tons on the wedding I would feel better about that by making a charity contribution, but I'm not sure a gift list is the way to do it. Feel mean now .
  • craftycharlicraftycharli Posts: 3,175
    Hi helen, I don't think you are being materialistic - it's fine to want somethings that you cna look back on and say - oh we got that from auntie x for our wedding! Also although I admire the thought I don't think you can expect people to give to charity for you (I know that sounds weird) but as we have found some people just want to buy you something. Why not have both - a charity list and a small list that you can put a few bits and pieces on - problem solved??!!
  • My thoughts, exactly, Charli! You can easily have a charity list and a modest gift list. And you might even find that some people donate to your chosen charity but buy you a little something anyway, as I think lots of people like to give something for people to keep and remember them by. For this reason it's probably better to have a small gift list as well as the charity list so that those who chose to buy you a 'something' instead of or as well as donating have some guidance as to what you'd like.
  • CarolUKCarolUK Posts: 108
    At Christmas, I bought charity gifts from CAFOD for families and couples rather than individual gifts. Some people got a school starter pack for a child in Africa, others got a well dug in Africa, others got emergency shelters for Pakistan. There are lots of charities that do similar things apart from CAFOD, which can be found online. Perhaps you could have the choice of donating to your favourite charity, buying a charity gift to help in the third world on your behalf, or buying a gift for you. That way everybody should be covered (hopefully?!!). Just an idea.
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