Send save the dates to evening guests ?

Hi girls. 

Basically what the title says.. 

My save the dates have been deliverd this morning !  

Do I send them to evening guests? 

Without sounding like a right cow. Our evening guests are distant cousins who haven't bothered with us in years but their parents (our ants and uncles) who be really pissed off if we didn't invite their kids. (20 - 34 year olds)

We are having a late wedding... 3.30pm full religious church service so timeline from reception venue have said 8.30pm evening guests arrive ? 

I will be sending formal invites out to evening guests later in the year. ? 

So do I or don't I send save the dates. 

Thanks in advance girls xxc

Posts

  • Kelly224Kelly224 Posts: 962 New bride

    I don't think you are meant to send save the dates to evening guests, just to the day ones.  I'm only sending to the day ones.

    When are you planning on sending the save the dates? Am wondering when to send mine - wedding is December 2018.

  • Emma624Emma624 Posts: 137

    If I receive a save the date in the post I would assume I was invited for the whole day, so I would just send them the evening invites. It is also easier to plan for an evening out than a whole day so wouldn't have thought as much notice is needed. 

  • Ashley72Ashley72 Posts: 1,137 New bride

    I personally wouldn't bother (it doesn't sound like you'll be too upset if they don't come anyway!). If I received a save the date I would assume it was for the entire day, unless specified. You might cause more upset if people assumed they were coming to the whole thing and then only got an evening invite? Difficult one. I think I'd leave it and send a message along the lines of "We've set a date for our wedding of XXX. We'd love you to join us for the reception. You'll get an invite with all of the information once we have confirmed timings" or something, so they know when it is but they're under no illusion they're required for the whole day.

  • Kelly224- thanks for the reply.

    We are 22nd June 2018. And I'm going to start handing them out this weekend once I find a nice gold writing pen to write on the envelopes. Originally I wanted to send them June this year but with budgeting/ trying to find what I want/ printing timing etc. It's been a bit later than what I planned. 

    I'm struggling on when to send formal invites. I wanted to send them at Xmas along with Xmas cards to everyone. But mam has said to send them in February! I think feb is way too late I want the RSVP in by end of April. Also we have 200 guests. So the earlier the better I think lol 

    I asked Mr.B what he thought. He said the thought the save the dates were the invite ! 

    P.s proof read it save the dates. I orderd mine then realised I forgot to put my wedding website on it 

    Xxxx

  • MrsJamesMrsJames Posts: 405 New bride

    We sent save the dates and made specific save the evening's so that there was no confusion. This was only because I was making them myself. If we'd have been ordering them from somewhere I don't think we'd have bothered sending them to evening guests.

    I think a lot of it is down to personal preference though, so I'd say if you don't think you need to send dave the evenings then don't bother.  

     

  • Emma624. Thanks. Your right! I wasn't too sure what the ettiquate was for evening. Xx

    Ashley72. Your defo right... I don't want them there at all ! Don't get on with them one bit and we were never invited to any of their weddings/ 30th b.days/ christenings etc. Just doing it as parents asked us too. Thanks for your reply. Xx

  • Your mum is right, don't send the invites in december for a june wedding.  It's so far away that most people will put them aside and then forget about them particularly with being around Christmas time.  You have sent the save the dates so everyone has plenty notice.  

    Better to send an invite with a shorter frame to rsvp as this will prompt people to do it straight away, not forget about it.

    Please don't send save the days for evening guests, it will just ruffle feathers

  • Mrs17Mrs17 Posts: 775 New bride

    I agree - don't send Save the Dates to evening guests! We received a save the date a few years ago for a Friday wedding, so I booked the day off work and was very cross to then receive an evening invite

    I also think Christmas is too soon for invites for a June wedding. We got married June 1st, and sent out our invites around valentines with a RSVP dates of 1st April. This worked out fine for 90 guests (and didn't allow people much time to change their minds/forget and make other plans!)

     

  • SadieeeSadieee Posts: 1,781 New bride
    Kelly224 wrote (see post):

    I don't think you are meant to send save the dates to evening guests, just to the day ones.  I'm only sending to the day ones.

    When are you planning on sending the save the dates? Am wondering when to send mine - wedding is December 2018.

    I'm getting married December 18 as well. Save the dates are going January and invited around July/August  (95% guests traveling over 250 miles so need to stay over hence early invites)

  • Victoria197Victoria197 Posts: 720

    Its really bad manners to send a save the date and not follow it up with an invite. Save the dates should really only be sent to guests that you really want to attend and will go onto invite. This should be day guests only. You shouldn't really send save the dates to everybody in case your plans / numbers change.

    This has recently happened to a friend who didn't accept plans for a holiday because she had 'saved the date' 

  • I only sent save the dates to close family and also not so close family that had to travel a long distance.  Not to friends apart from bridal party.  Like Victoria said above, your plans could change and then you are stuck!!

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