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GuestZilla HELP PLEASE !!

Need some advice guys, i have a serious case of guestzilla at the moment and im not too sure how to handle it ! 

 

one of my closest friends over the past 6 years has more recently become a nobody to me - the last 8 months i've seen and spoken to her once (when her and her new fella where on brink of splitting up and i got them back together!)

well in the run up to sorting out invitations, me and my h2b said we must speak to them make sure we havent upset them etc etc but we never got round to it - with our VERY tight budget we where waiting for a couple of people (family) to not accept the invitations then we could invite them but this never happened we didnt have 1 cancellation , they have got wind invites have gone out and i received a text to ask where there  invite was and they cant believe they're not invited - they thought they where higher up on our friends list blah blah - 

First of she visits the town i live in every single week but i never get a text or call to meet or to ask how wedding plans are going, not even a random text for the last 8 months?

 

I have invited them to the evening reception since and she's responded to say im a joke of a friend and theres no way she wants to  be involved in our day.. 

 

How can i handle this? is there any way to restore the friendship do you think??

 

Posts

  • Barbie3Barbie3 Posts: 340 New bride

    with the best will in the world, it doesn't sound like there's much of a friendship to restore!

    i would simply reply along the lines of sorry your disappointed but our numbers are very limited for the daytime because of budget, and we'd love to see you at the evening reception if u can be there.  

    Its up to her.... i wouldn't bother even dignifying her snarky 'joke' comment with a response.

  • shanmia35shanmia35 Posts: 65

    I don’t mean this in a mean way at all but ... why do you want to restore the friendship? Doesn’t sound like she‘s a particularly good friend, esp in light of those messages?

  • I had a friend who got upset about only being invited to our evening reception when I sent out save the dates, so after her reaction I never did sent her an official invite at all and we haven’t spoken in a yr and a half. Any real friend, even if disappointed, would be happy to come to any part of your special day and if they’re not then it’s not worth changing your plans just to keep them happy. 

  • GinAndBlingGinAndBling Posts: 1,311 New bride
    Barbie3 wrote (see post):

    with the best will in the world, it doesn't sound like there's much of a friendship to restore!

    i would simply reply along the lines of sorry your disappointed but our numbers are very limited for the daytime because of budget, and we'd love to see you at the evening reception if u can be there.  

    Its up to her.... i wouldn't bother even dignifying her snarky 'joke' comment with a response.

    I agree with Barbie.. 

    "Unfortunately due to budget restrictions we are having to limit daytime guests, we would love to celebrate with you at the evening reception but understand if you feel unable to attend."

    Then just leave it. She will either get over it/ herself and come along or she won't. There's no sense battling with people over stuff like this. 

    Our planning thread: We're completely winging it.
    Our report: A fun, classic May day in navy and blush
    My weightloss thread: Diet denial! 
  • I always try to keep friends and keep everyone happy - my H2B says this is my biggest downfall BUT when i got the messages i honestly thought why should i bother with her but then i wondered if i should be feeling like that?! maybe now is the time to be selfish and to learn who my real friends are! x

  • GinAndBlingGinAndBling Posts: 1,311 New bride
    Samantha301 wrote (see post):

    I always try to keep friends and keep everyone happy - my H2B says this is my biggest downfall BUT when i got the messages i honestly thought why should i bother with her but then i wondered if i should be feeling like that?! maybe now is the time to be selfish and to learn who my real friends are! x

    Definitely a time to stick to your guns! You don't want to bend to her, pay the extra, let her come and then her either 1-sit there with a face like thunder or 2- not speak to you again after! 

    Hopefully she's got a bit of a wake up call to start making more of an effort with you now. And if not... better off rid! 

    Our planning thread: We're completely winging it.
    Our report: A fun, classic May day in navy and blush
    My weightloss thread: Diet denial! 
  • The question is do you WANT to restore the friendship? If you do then I think you need to be honest with her and tell her how you feel about her lack of friendship over the past 8 months. Maybe she’s had a lot going on in her own life and has been a bit selfish and taken your friendship for granted. Whatever it is, give her a chance to explain herself. 

    Also it takes two to tango, have you made an effort with her over the past 8 months or have you been waiting for her to make contact? She might feel like you’ve not been there for her either (aside from reuniting her and her boyfriend).

    If you’re not interested in being friends with her anymore, then just walk away and don’t waste your time stressing over it all x

  • Williams2James wrote (see post):

    The question is do you WANT to restore the friendship? If you do then I think you need to be honest with her and tell her how you feel about her lack of friendship over the past 8 months. Maybe she’s had a lot going on in her own life and has been a bit selfish and taken your friendship for granted. Whatever it is, give her a chance to explain herself. 

    Also it takes two to tango, have you made an effort with her over the past 8 months or have you been waiting for her to make contact? She might feel like you’ve not been there for her either (aside from reuniting her and her boyfriend).

    If you’re not interested in being friends with her anymore, then just walk away and don’t waste your time stressing over it all x

     

     

    - Thanks :) 

    Yes i've tried meeting for drinks or food as couples and just us girls but her priority is her  new fella, she drives 3 hours to see him (he lives near me) so he comes first when she is down here, i think shes upset a few people by 'dropping  them' now he is in her life to be honest! 

    I would  like to remain friends in the long run but to me she's acted like a child and with only 64 days until our wedding i have enough things going on (family break ups, sick grandparents, so much left to do for the wedding!) i havent got time to worry about her 'unfriending' me because of my wedding day? - Just feel its horrible of me to say this thats all xx

  • GinAndBling wrote (see post):
    Samantha301 wrote (see post):

    I always try to keep friends and keep everyone happy - my H2B says this is my biggest downfall BUT when i got the messages i honestly thought why should i bother with her but then i wondered if i should be feeling like that?! maybe now is the time to be selfish and to learn who my real friends are! x

    Definitely a time to stick to your guns! You don't want to bend to her, pay the extra, let her come and then her either 1-sit there with a face like thunder or 2- not speak to you again after! 

    Hopefully she's got a bit of a wake up call to start making more of an effort with you now. And if not... better off rid! 

     

     

    thanks Gin&Bling (ps love the name!!)

    i've been told if i only upset 1 person out of 150 on our wedding day and wedding planning im not doing to bad! i heard of bridezilla before but never guestzilla but it seems to suit! lol 

  • Julia82Julia82 Posts: 123

    She sounds rather horrific! This seems like the perfect moment to never have to deal with her again. 

    I am not as nice as you! 

  • Mrs2018Mrs2018 Posts: 398
    Samantha301 wrote (see post):

     

    i've been told if i only upset 1 person out of 150 on our wedding day and wedding planning im not doing to bad! i heard of bridezilla before but never guestzilla but it seems to suit! lol 

    I'd say that' very true! I've upset atleast 5 of my 60 guests already for one reason or another. W of those being my grandparents who aren't happy I've not invites my uncle and his family (who I've not seen in about 2years) as a day guest. They are still invited to the evening but I was limited on numbers. My nana is particularly upset as she doesn't understand why my beat friend on 18years is invited and my uncle isn't. 

    You will never please everyone so if just do what you think is best for you x

  • GinAndBlingGinAndBling Posts: 1,311 New bride
    Samantha301 wrote (see post):
    GinAndBling wrote (see post):
    Samantha301 wrote (see post):

    I always try to keep friends and keep everyone happy - my H2B says this is my biggest downfall BUT when i got the messages i honestly thought why should i bother with her but then i wondered if i should be feeling like that?! maybe now is the time to be selfish and to learn who my real friends are! x

    Definitely a time to stick to your guns! You don't want to bend to her, pay the extra, let her come and then her either 1-sit there with a face like thunder or 2- not speak to you again after! 

    Hopefully she's got a bit of a wake up call to start making more of an effort with you now. And if not... better off rid! 

     

     

    thanks Gin&Bling (ps love the name!!)

    i've been told if i only upset 1 person out of 150 on our wedding day and wedding planning im not doing to bad! i heard of bridezilla before but never guestzilla but it seems to suit! lol 

    Thanks- thought it was appropriate for wedding planning! We've been told the same. We've been planning for 4 months or so and have already managed to annoy people. We've since decided that whatever we do, it's going to upset or annoy somebody, so we might as well just do exactly what we want and leave people to do it! Quite frankly, if people have that strong opinions, they don't have to come to the free party I've invited them to :) 

    Our planning thread: We're completely winging it.
    Our report: A fun, classic May day in navy and blush
    My weightloss thread: Diet denial! 
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