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What is sooo offensive about chair covers? Need a rant - sorry

I’ve seen a couple of threads recently where EVERYONE has said how ‘ugly’ chair covers are. As someone who had already paid for chair cover hire, for the first time I started to second guess my decision. I do think it’s unfair for other brides (even unintentionally) to make other brides feel like this. There’s a polite way of giving your opinion without putting down other people‘s plans. If I don’t like something I wouldn’t start saying that it’s UGLY and I HATE it etc. because I want to be respectful of other people’s plans. I might just say ‘I personally wouldn’t use/have it, but it’s your day and your decion’. Be respectful ladies! Didn‘t your mothers every tell you that if you don’t have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all?

At the end of the day, do guests really look at chairs? As a guest I’ve never even noticed seating, I think the only time I would notice it is if there was a disctinct lack of it. Surely people will be too busy looking at all of the flowers and decorations instead of chairs, and as soon as their day down, they can’t even be seen. And as a bride, it’s not like I’m going to be walking down the isle thinking ‘I really dont like the seats my guests are covering as they sit’ I’ll be concentrating on their reactions and my husband standing at the other end of the alter.

Am I on my own in the fact that I’ll be having chair covers?

Posts

  • Mrs2018Mrs2018 Posts: 398

    Im having chaircovers :) the chairs are horrid at our venue and the chaircovers really make a big difference! I'll also have them as I walk down the aisle with the bows facing the aisle :) 

  • MrsCToBeeMrsCToBee Posts: 2,957 New bride

    We are having them for the ceremony as our venue is a pub/restaurant and their chairs are a big mishmash of different styles and colours.

    We aren't having them for the wedding breakfast as in the restaurant area all the seats are plain beige and match each other.

    I can totally see the point of them, our 2nd choice venue had bloody hideous bright green velour chairs, and I actually discounted a few venues because I couldn't cope with their giant swirly garish carpets 😂

  • Emma827 wrote (see post):

    I’ve seen a couple of threads recently where EVERYONE has said how ‘ugly’ chair covers are. As someone who had already paid for chair cover hire, for the first time I started to second guess my decision. I do think it’s unfair for other brides (even unintentionally) to make other brides feel like this. There’s a polite way of giving your opinion without putting down other people‘s plans. If I don’t like something I wouldn’t start saying that it’s UGLY and I HATE it etc. because I want to be respectful of other people’s plans. I might just say ‘I personally wouldn’t use/have it, but it’s your day and your decion’. Be respectful ladies! Didn‘t your mothers every tell you that if you don’t have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all?

    At the end of the day, do guests really look at chairs? As a guest I’ve never even noticed seating, I think the only time I would notice it is if there was a disctinct lack of it. Surely people will be too busy looking at all of the flowers and decorations instead of chairs, and as soon as their day down, they can’t even be seen. And as a bride, it’s not like I’m going to be walking down the isle thinking ‘I really dont like the seats my guests are covering as they sit’ I’ll be concentrating on their reactions and my husband standing at the other end of the alter.

    Am I on my own in the fact that I’ll be having chair covers?

    It’s not impolite to say on a general thread about chair covers that you don’t like them. It’s simply an opinion. If another bride was commenting on your personal planning thread saying she didn’t like your choices then yes this is disrespectful but honestly I don’t see what your issue is with people offering their opinion on a general thread. 

    There are a whole lot of opinions on this forum, if there weren’t then it would be dead! Don‘t take it so personally.

    As you’ve asked... my opinion is that chair covers are dated and old fashioned. Yeah I understand chairs aren’t seen once everyone is sat down. However I think chairs make a big difference to the style of a room, and that is why I prefer Chiavari chairs which look quite elegant compared to chair covers which are quite bulky.

    Like I said, that is just my opinion. Just because I don’t like chair covers doesn’t mean I’m criticising your decision x

  • Barbie3Barbie3 Posts: 340 New bride
    Emma827 wrote (see post):

    I do think it’s unfair for other brides (even unintentionally) to make other brides feel like this. There’s a polite way of giving your opinion without putting down other people‘s plans. If I don’t like something I wouldn’t start saying that it’s UGLY and I HATE it etc. because I want to be respectful of other people’s plans. s?

    Sorry Emma but i think ur overreacting a wee bit.

    Noone can make you feel bad without ur permission: u can choose to be offended and to doubt urself, or you can choose to accept that not evryone has the same taste & be ok with it.

    People expressing opinions are just expressing opinions.  They're not putting anyone down and just because they don't agree with u doesn't make it rude

  • I think most people’s decision on chair covers normally depends on their venue and the way the chairs would love without them. If a venue has nice chairs, then paying for chair covers would just be an unnecessary expense for many. However, if it was a choice between ugly chairs or covered chairs, lots of engaged couples would probably choose to have covers as they neutralise the look and help things to match. 

  • SadieeeSadieee Posts: 1,781 New bride

    Also having them. Our venue chairs are horrific red and metal one's with lots of scuffs, would rather have them :) but then I also don't see the massive appeal chiavri chairs. They are alright but never understood the gushing over them.

  • Rach371Rach371 Posts: 1,130 New bride

    It's called having an opinion. We're all entitled to one.

    For the record I also really dislike photo booths,favours, themed table names and strapless dresses. 

    There are also opinions expressed on here about things I'm having at my wedding that some people dont like.

    Do I care? No. How boring would it be if we all liked the same thing?

    I would politely suggest that if you can't handle people having an opinion that differs to your own then this forum isn't for you. 

  • MrsHowgateMrsHowgate Posts: 1,432 New bride

    I personally love chair covers but I would never slate someone for wanting/having them themselves. We’re having chair covers and sashes for the ceremony and just the plain clear chiavari chairs for the reception.

  • Firstly, I‘m not sure that I worded my original post too well. I wasn’t suggesting for a second that I didn’t want to hear anyone’s opinion - otherwise I wouldn’t be on this page right now. 

    I was more focused on certain individuals, who, in my opinion, took it too far. As I said in the original post it was the ‘hate‘ and ‘Ugly‘ comments that I didn’t think were necessary or constructive feedback. Most people, again in my opinion, worded what they had to say in a constructive and helpful way. Again, just to reiterate, I was ranting about a couple of ladies that I think went over the top. 

     

  • Barbie3 wrote (see post):
    Emma827 wrote (see post):

    I do think it’s unfair for other brides (even unintentionally) to make other brides feel like this. There’s a polite way of giving your opinion without putting down other people‘s plans. If I don’t like something I wouldn’t start saying that it’s UGLY and I HATE it etc. because I want to be respectful of other people’s plans. s?

    Sorry Emma but i think ur overreacting a wee bit.

    Noone can make you feel bad without ur permission: u can choose to be offended and to doubt urself, or you can choose to accept that not evryone has the same taste & be ok with it.

    People expressing opinions are just expressing opinions.  They're not putting anyone down and just because they don't agree with u doesn't make it rude

    Can I be honest now? This is the BIGGEST load of toffee [imagine a far less polite word here, which I’ve removed as I know it’s against the website rules] I’ve ever heard. Have you ever been upset or angry? I’m sure you have have, and more than likely too many times to even recall. And did you sit there for 5 minutes before, deciding if you were going to feel like that and give that person ‘permission’ to upset you? No, because that’s ridiculous! If you got to decide whether or not to ‘feel bad’, why would you? Of course you wouldn’t just decide that you wanted to get upset over something, that’s just not how emotions work. This comment is truly absurd 😂 

    I’ve addressed your second comment in a different post. 

  • the thing is if there are posts asking for opinions on chair covers i think you have to expect the words love AND hate to be thrown in the replies, they’re just one of those marmite things you either love em or hate em and saying so in context is perfectly acceptable either way. We’re all adults here we don’t have to agree on everything 

  • SpacepuffinSpacepuffin Posts: 664 New bride

    Sorry Emma, I’d agree that your reaction is very strong here. These are opinions from people you’ve never met, why take them to heart? It really doesn’t matter what other people think. 

    When people ask for opinions on this forum, that’s just what they get. Some of those opinions will be strong but they aren’t crafted with the intention of offending you.

    I also think there’s some truth in Barbie’s post. In this scenario, your reaction seems a bit disproportionate. I could understand if it was your MOH or father that was very opposed to your choices but this is a forum of strangers. Opinions will be expressed and some of them will be expressed in strong terms. We don’t all agree with each other and it’s fine.

  • Rach371Rach371 Posts: 1,130 New bride
    Emma827 wrote (see post):

    Firstly, I‘m not sure that I worded my original post too well. I wasn’t suggesting for a second that I didn’t want to hear anyone’s opinion - otherwise I wouldn’t be on this page right now. 

    I was more focused on certain individuals, who, in my opinion, took it too far. As I said in the original post it was the ‘hate‘ and ‘Ugly‘ comments that I didn’t think were necessary or constructive feedback. Most people, again in my opinion, worded what they had to say in a constructive and helpful way. Again, just to reiterate, I was ranting about a couple of ladies that I think went over the top. 

     

    In your original post you asked whether our mothers had taught us not to say anything at all if we can't say anything nice.

    By your own admission you've set up a thread to target a few individuals who happen to say they hate chair covers. 

    People on this forum are asked for their opinion on something and they give it. If you can't say something nice about the way these opinions are delivered then I suggest you don't say anything at all. 

  • Spacepuffin wrote (see post):

    Sorry Emma, I’d agree that your reaction is very strong here. These are opinions from people you’ve never met, why take them to heart? It really doesn’t matter what other people think. 

    When people ask for opinions on this forum, that’s just what they get. Some of those opinions will be strong but they aren’t crafted with the intention of offending you.

    I also think there’s some truth in Barbie’s post. In this scenario, your reaction seems a bit disproportionate. I could understand if it was your MOH or father that was very opposed to your choices but this is a forum of strangers. Opinions will be expressed and some of them will be expressed in strong terms. We don’t all agree with each other and it’s fine.

    I think things have been blown waaay out of context. I haven’t taken anything to heart. It may have seemed that way from how things were worded. But, it’s not like I’m sat here crying because a bunch of people ive never met don’t like something I’m doing. Wtf? You ladies need to take your own advise. All I did was post an opinion about how I feel some pople when OTT with their comments. If you don’t like hearing this, maybe this isnt the site for you. 

    As ive said, my original post simply expressed my own option that the way some people have expressed their own was a bit OTT. And as all of you have quite rightly said, this is a board for opinions! I don’t think I’ve overacted in all honestly - because it wasn’t an overrecation it was an opinion. Yes, for a millisecond I thought, should I be spending more money on other chairs that aren’t ‘ugly’, and then my rational brain kicked it. It seemed to me, reading other posts that literally everyone is for no chair covers, I simply wanted to find out if anyone was on using them. 

  • Abigail56Abigail56 Posts: 102

    I feel like this entire post is aimed at me. As I recently did a thread asking people’s opinions on chair covers 

    http://www.youandyourwedding.co.uk/forum/general-chat/white-linen-chair-covers-or-limewash-chiavari-chairs/452176.html

    I was just asking people’s opinions. Since my venue has chairs with chair covers. I was undecided whether to keep these chairs or hire the chiavari ones.

    No one is pulling anyone else down for having chair covers! If people say they are “ugly” that is simply their opinion and are implying that they wouldnt have them at their own wedding. 

  • Rach371 wrote (see post):
    Emma827 wrote (see post):

    Firstly, I‘m not sure that I worded my original post too well. I wasn’t suggesting for a second that I didn’t want to hear anyone’s opinion - otherwise I wouldn’t be on this page right now. 

    I was more focused on certain individuals, who, in my opinion, took it too far. As I said in the original post it was the ‘hate‘ and ‘Ugly‘ comments that I didn’t think were necessary or constructive feedback. Most people, again in my opinion, worded what they had to say in a constructive and helpful way. Again, just to reiterate, I was ranting about a couple of ladies that I think went over the top. 

     

    In your original post you asked whether our mothers had taught us not to say anything at all if we can't say anything nice.

    By your own admission you've set up a thread to target a few individuals who happen to say they hate chair covers. 

    People on this forum are asked for their opinion on something and they give it. If you can't say something nice about the way these opinions are delivered then I suggest you don't say anything at all. 

    I purposefully chose not to mention any names or specific idividuals, as I was conscoius of not singling anyone out. Have i specially said anything unkind I’m my original post? Since then, lots of people made Judgements of me as a person and my thoughts/actions and I have a right to stick up for myself. 

  • AwhelenqtAwhelenqt Posts: 856 New bride

    The amount of people who would find my wedding ugly is astounding. I've already had my partner and mum tell me they really don't want me to have pink hair but I still will. We're having a multi coloured bouncy castle and I'm wearing pink fluffy marabou shoes.

    I don't care and I'm not gonna make a post asking people not to call bouncy castles ugly, people have different tastes and the fact is I do hate chair covers, I find them too formal because I'm a very informal punk person. But just because I hate them shouldn't have any affect on you - it's not my wedding. You do you! 

    And to put it in perspective I've had personal attacks on here about my relationship with my fiance out of the blue so I think that's taking it too far but beyond that I would just ignore it.

  • Rach371Rach371 Posts: 1,130 New bride
    Emma827 wrote (see post):
    Rach371 wrote (see post):
    Emma827 wrote (see post):

    Firstly, I‘m not sure that I worded my original post too well. I wasn’t suggesting for a second that I didn’t want to hear anyone’s opinion - otherwise I wouldn’t be on this page right now. 

    I was more focused on certain individuals, who, in my opinion, took it too far. As I said in the original post it was the ‘hate‘ and ‘Ugly‘ comments that I didn’t think were necessary or constructive feedback. Most people, again in my opinion, worded what they had to say in a constructive and helpful way. Again, just to reiterate, I was ranting about a couple of ladies that I think went over the top. 

     

    In your original post you asked whether our mothers had taught us not to say anything at all if we can't say anything nice.

    By your own admission you've set up a thread to target a few individuals who happen to say they hate chair covers. 

    People on this forum are asked for their opinion on something and they give it. If you can't say something nice about the way these opinions are delivered then I suggest you don't say anything at all. 

    I purposefully chose not to mention any names or specific idividuals, as I was conscoius of not singling anyone out. Have i specially said anything unkind I’m my original post? Since then, lots of people made Judgements of me as a person and my thoughts/actions and I have a right to stick up for myself. 

    I'm sure that the women on here who have posted comments previously about their dislike for chair covers (me included) will know this thread is aimed at them!! In your original post you criticised these women and questioned how they were brought up!

  • yburybur Posts: 45

    What a bizaare post. 

    Angry at people expressing a strong opinion on a non-personal thread... then when people are somewhat put out, claiming you're just giving your own opinion except this time its a directed thread (even if you don't name anyone). 

    Don't really feel this is going anywhere ladies. 

    (for the record I hate chair covers, mostly because I can't tuck my legs under the chair when I'm sitting on it which is something I would notice more than what a chair looks like but I understand why people have them)

     

     

  • I'm having chair covers and sashes for ceremony and wedding breakfast, personally think they look great xx

  • GinAndBlingGinAndBling Posts: 1,311 New bride
    Emma827 wrote (see post):
    Spacepuffin wrote (see post):

    Sorry Emma, I’d agree that your reaction is very strong here. These are opinions from people you’ve never met, why take them to heart? It really doesn’t matter what other people think. 

    When people ask for opinions on this forum, that’s just what they get. Some of those opinions will be strong but they aren’t crafted with the intention of offending you.

    I also think there’s some truth in Barbie’s post. In this scenario, your reaction seems a bit disproportionate. I could understand if it was your MOH or father that was very opposed to your choices but this is a forum of strangers. Opinions will be expressed and some of them will be expressed in strong terms. We don’t all agree with each other and it’s fine.

    I think things have been blown waaay out of context. I haven’t taken anything to heart. It may have seemed that way from how things were worded. But, it’s not like I’m sat here crying because a bunch of people ive never met don’t like something I’m doing. Wtf? You ladies need to take your own advise. All I did was post an opinion about how I feel some pople when OTT with their comments. If you don’t like hearing this, maybe this isnt the site for you. 

    As ive said, my original post simply expressed my own option that the way some people have expressed their own was a bit OTT. And as all of you have quite rightly said, this is a board for opinions! I don’t think I’ve overacted in all honestly - because it wasn’t an overrecation it was an opinion. Yes, for a millisecond I thought, should I be spending more money on other chairs that aren’t ‘ugly’, and then my rational brain kicked it. It seemed to me, reading other posts that literally everyone is for no chair covers, I simply wanted to find out if anyone was on using them. 

    You're not sat crying about it or taking things to heart but you did make a specific post about, by your own admission, "certain individuals" (of which I'm sure I am one!) who's opinions you didn't like about chair covers, of all things! I think you need some perspective...

    Our planning thread: We're completely winging it.
    Our report: A fun, classic May day in navy and blush
    My weightloss thread: Diet denial! 
  • Emma827 wrote (see post):

    I’ve seen a couple of threads recently where EVERYONE has said how ‘ugly’ chair covers are. As someone who had already paid for chair cover hire, for the first time I started to second guess my decision. I do think it’s unfair for other brides (even unintentionally) to make other brides feel like this. There’s a polite way of giving your opinion without putting down other people‘s plans. If I don’t like something I wouldn’t start saying that it’s UGLY and I HATE it etc. because I want to be respectful of other people’s plans. I might just say ‘I personally wouldn’t use/have it, but it’s your day and your decion’. Be respectful ladies! Didn‘t your mothers every tell you that if you don’t have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all?

    At the end of the day, do guests really look at chairs? As a guest I’ve never even noticed seating, I think the only time I would notice it is if there was a disctinct lack of it. Surely people will be too busy looking at all of the flowers and decorations instead of chairs, and as soon as their day down, they can’t even be seen. And as a bride, it’s not like I’m going to be walking down the isle thinking ‘I really dont like the seats my guests are covering as they sit’ I’ll be concentrating on their reactions and my husband standing at the other end of the alter.

    Am I on my own in the fact that I’ll be having chair covers?

    I find it interesting that you are very upset about the fact people don't like chair covers and use the argument that people don't even look at chairs etc etc. It's a bit of a contradiction getting so worked up about it as if you really believed people don't look at the chairs then you wouldn't be hiring chair covers in the first place...

    Everyone has an opinion- you have the opinion that you don't like the seats without covers, and some people might not like the seats with covers. It's all relative.

  • MrsJ2017MrsJ2017 Posts: 3,017

    I don’t like chair covers, I also dont like Chiva-whatsit chairs. They remind me of what my Nan used to have at the dining table 20 years ago.

    Chairs are generally quite ugly things however you dress them up, they’re not something I can get excited or worked about. Some are, of course, uglier than others. So I just went with chair covers and a sash on an ugly but comfortable chair.

    We all have different opinions and that’s fine. people are entitled to find things ugly and say they hate them, in general. Just the same as if the like them and think they’re beautiful. The only time its not ok if if someone isn’t asking for an honest opinion.

  • Libby13Libby13 Posts: 244 New bride

    I made a post asking for people’s opinions on chair covers, and Opinions were what I wanted. A lot of people did say they don’t like them, but I wasn’t offended. Even if I was going to go for them and people said they were ugly I wouldn’t care, as everyone has different opinions. 

  • Wow, so much angst and drama over an inanimate object! The poor chair cover!

    Whether you love 'em or hate em, this is a public forum where opinions are posted. Those opinions will use words like love, hate, pretty, ugly, fab, garish, etc. There's a BIG difference in saying "I hate chair covers," and saying "I hate your choice of chair covers," so unless someone is spamming a bride's planning thread with comments like that, I think everyone needs to put on their big girl panties and act like an adult.

    Opinions are allowed here. Posting mean comments directly on someone's planning thread are not. It's pretty simple.

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