Need a reality check I think!
Sorry for the slightly long post!
To give you a brief background we're getting married in Essex in September this year after a fairly long enagagement so we could get enough money together to pay for our wedding as we're paying for the majority ourselves. We have a small circle of friends but quite a large family (who we have to invite but aren't that close with). I've got 4 bridesmaids and a young flower girl anywayyy...
I'm starting to get depressed and anxious when I think about the wedding and there's a few reasons why:
1) since getting engaged 3 of my bridesmaids are now pregnant and will be very very new mums on the day. This is making me anxious about hen-do plans (i have a very small friendship group so these girls are key to my hen) and are likely to not be able to drink or not want to - which is completely fair enough but I really wanted a boozy drunken hen-do with my fave girls. I'm also extremely worried that due to baby commitments they might not be able to make the day itself or have to go home early. I'm not a mum and these girls will be new mums so although they are saying now everything will be fine, reality i think will be a lot different and it's worrying me. Also, some of the girls are saying that the bridesmaids dresses I've bought will be fine to keep as they will diet to fit into them but I'm worrying that they won't fit and with such a small gap between births and the wedding I won't have any time to get replacements!
2) we didn't want children at the wedding but now we're having to have babies there - i would never say mums couldn't bring newborn babies - which is fine but just another change that's making me worry about parents not enjoying themselves or leaving extra early because of babies, crying during speeches and all of that sort of thing.
3) my mum was supposed to be doing my flower bouquet but isn't now because she said it's too stressful. I don't want her to be stressed but it's a bit of a letdown.
4) I'm an anxious person anyway and i'm worrying about people not being able to make it, my hen-do being rubbish and people not having a good time.
5) I'm currently studying for a degree and will be studying all the way up until the wedding and then after for an exam a few weeks after the wedding takes place - this was unexpected and not planned when we set the date - this is also making me stressed and really taking the shine off the planning process as i'm not able to commit much time to it plus the way i'm feeling at the moment I don't even want to plan.
I can appreciate these sound like such trivial things but I wish me and H2B had just eloped just us 2 instead which we can't do now because of deposits paid ages ago and the feeling of letting people down. I feel like it's all just making me really stressed and unhappy and the run up should be exciting shouldn't it? I think I just need a bit of a reality check maybe that none of this matters?! Even typing it all out has made me feel slightly better but I just hate feeling this way.