I totally understand where you are coming from as I was in
the exact same situation about six months ago. Like you I suffer from anxiety,
and the wedding planning was all getting too much. I think this is all perfectly normal.
We had a long engagement so by the time our wedding came
along there were five new babies in the group. Two of my three bridesmaids became
pregnant during the engagement (one had a new-born at the wedding, the other
was still pregnant).
I was making my own bouquets and worried they would look rubbish and wouldn't be done in time.
I was also studying a degree at the time and had my dissertation
due a couple of months after the wedding.
I know it seems like a nice idea to just disappear and elope
and forget all the wedding stuff, but you would regret it afterwards, I think!
Due to all these things, my wedding day wasn’t perfect, but it was still
wonderful, and I’m sure it will be the same for you.
My hen party was not the drink-fest I had hoped for, but my
friends had still made the effort for me. We had to have it three months early
due to the bridesmaid’s pregnancy, and several other friends weren’t able to
come at all due to new-borns. I then tried to organise a cocktail night on my
husband’s stag night, but that fell flat on its face because of either new-born
babies, newly announced pregnancies, and a break up which resulted in one of
the bridesmaid’s leaving the country that week! So I never got my big alcohol
party that I desperately wanted before I got married.
On the wedding day, the new-born baby had to be factored
into the ‘getting ready’ party, and only two of us were able to drink the Bucks
Fizz I had bought for the occasion.
At the ceremony I was aware of screaming children a lot of
the time. At the reception, a lot of people had to leave early to get their
little ones home.
But the fact is, there is absolutely nothing we could do
about any of this. People have still made the effort to be there for us, even though some had to leave early. And we
still had an amazing time with all the people who weren’t child-laden!
I have found that (being one month post-wedding) all the
things I thought would upset me on the day haven’t bothered me much at all.
Yes, I wish people could have stayed longer, or drank, or could have heard the
readings in the service, but you can’t stop these things from happening. Just
like you can’t stop people being ill and having to pull out last minute.
Unfortunately I don’t have much advice, because I know
exactly how you feel (I was cursing the universe whenever anything beyond my
control happened that affected our perfect day!), but I can say that once you
get to the other side, you will realise you still had an amazingly special day,
despite everything that didn’t go how you wished it would.
In regards to the degree, I had to withdraw temporarily from
it as I was falling behind with work. Is this an option for you? Check with
your student union rep about the university’s special circumstances policy to
see if there is anything that can help ease the pressure.