Top table- No FOB

Hello,

I have no FOB attending my wedding as we don't really talk.
I have asked my Mum to walk me down the Aisle but I am really stressing about the top table and who can go in my Dad's place? I don't have any siblings and I don't have any Uncles that are closer than any others. I had originally asked one Uncle to walk me down the aisle but he passed away. My mum has 4 sisters so I can't ask one over the other.

I just don't want the top table to be dominated by my Husband's family.

Also speech wise, I am going to do a short one, should my Mum do one? My fiancé thinks that she should do one in the evening.

Thanks :-)

Posts

  • A17A17 Posts: 4 New bride
    My father is coming to the wedding but my mother will be walking me down the aisle (he doesn’t deserve that honour!)  

    Like you, my top table is weighted towards my fiance’s family so I guess I am starting to get to the point where you have however you want at the top table next to you. A special great-aunt (like me) or a cousin or someone you want to honour in that way. If the aunts are that difficult about it being one, then also what is the issue with it being uneven really? Traditions are there but really it’s your and your fiancé’s wedding so who cares ultimately?  Have the confidence to be yourselves and not stress over what is really such a little thing. :)

    My mum has mentioned doing a speech but I’d only want her to do it if she was comfortable doing it. Again just because everyone else does it, doesn’t mean we have to! I think I am going to do a speech! 

    Nuclear 2.4 families don’t really exist (apart from in my very catholic fiancé’s family haha). 

    (I hope this comes across okay, just drove from Lakes to the south coast so my brain is a little fried!) 
  • MrsCToBeeMrsCToBee Posts: 2,949 New bride
    Either choose a bridesmaid or ask your mum who she would like to have sit with her. You don't have to have even numbers though....
  • Ambam19Ambam19 Posts: 586 New bride
    I'm having my grandad x
  • I'm in a very similar situation to this. My dad isn't invited to my wedding either and my mum is walking me down the aisle and is basically being the FOB role. She is making a speech and sitting beside me on the top table. I don't have much if any people from my Dad's side at my wedding and we're not in contact with all of my mum's siblings so guests on my side are predominantly my friends or friends of my family. I'm having my maid of honour, my bridesmaid and my mum on the top table with me, whilst my fiance has his parents, brother, sister and brother in law. All of his guests are family so I do sometimes get an outnumbered family feeling.... Maybe you could have a close friend sit on the top table with you, if family isn't an option?

    I think if your mum wants to give a speech and take that kind of FOB role then that's absolutely fine, personally I don't see why she wouldn't take the FOB place on the top table, with the speeches etc. if she's walking you down the aisle. To be honest I don't think there are any rules as to how it should be done, if you want your mum on the top table go for it! Or maybe you could have a sweetheart table with just you and your fiance, that might be an easier option for you?

    I hope you manage to think of something that works best for you :)
  • Thanks ladies, all really helpful.
    I don't have a grandad from either side and like you have mentioned, my dad's family are few and far between although I would have had his brother who passed. 

    I am sure I will think of someone but anyone I can think of is married too and I don't want their other half to have  to sit separately.

    I think because it's always just been me and my Mum, I just want to be able to have a bigger presence at the top table. I want to feel supported and as though everyone is comfortable.


    My partner is very traditional so I don't think a sweetheart table would work but you are so right about 2.4 families not existing anymore!!
  • Jade182 said:
    Thanks ladies, all really helpful.
    I don't have a grandad from either side and like you have mentioned, my dad's family are few and far between although I would have had his brother who passed. 

    I am sure I will think of someone but anyone I can think of is married too and I don't want their other half to have  to sit separately.

    I think because it's always just been me and my Mum, I just want to be able to have a bigger presence at the top table. I want to feel supported and as though everyone is comfortable.


    My partner is very traditional so I don't think a sweetheart table would work but you are so right about 2.4 families not existing anymore!!
    It's always just been me and my mum too, no siblings, no grandparents just us.

    Would it be worth just having your mum, your fiance's parents, best man and maid of honour to join you on the top table? Then it wouldn't be too much on either side and you still get a top table?

    It can be super tricky getting the balance right especially with family, but I do really hope you manage to think of something you and your fiance are happy with as it's your special day :)
  • CoffeeDogAddictCoffeeDogAddict Posts: 1,341 New bride
    edited February 2019
    I know its not to everyone's taste but what about a sweetheart table? 

    They're more popular in America, but its an idea i love, a table just for the newlyweds!

    We've decided on this because my parents are separated and both remarried, but my partners side isn't so it wouldn't been huge and unbalanced. 

    Plus we think its a nice way to sit and take it all in together with a little bit of privacy, at least we can chat together and enjoy watching all our loved ones. 

    Edited: sorry totally missed your post saying FH is rather traditional and probably not keen, sorry! Might still be worth mentioning, especially when you explain why. My FH is very traditional and once i went through it i was surprised how on board he was. 
Sign In or Register to comment.