Wedding guest list....

Hello, 
Myself and my OH have just booked our wedding date for next October, already people are questioning whose going to be invited/not invited/whose getting a plus 1. Its driving us mad already. My family is slightly bigger than my OH. We have 70 during the day and have decided we aren't giving any plus 1s to partners we haven't met/don't know. This includes 2 of my OHs cousins and 1 of mine. His are fine with this but mine are whinging. 
Why is it wedding planning causes so many dramas?? Can't please everyone and people forget its the bride and grooms day.... No one else's. Sorry for the rant, anyone else having these issues?? 🙈😊

Posts

  • CoffeeDogAddictCoffeeDogAddict Posts: 1,205 New bride
    I feel you!! The guest list seems to be an issue for everyone i've spoken to really. 
    We started with under 70 and now were on nearly 80, which i suppose isn't too bad. 
    We got engaged 10 months ago and had a general rule of "if we haven't both met the partner then they aren't invited" because we had to draw the line somewhere, both being big family people with lost of cousins we care about!

    (Un)fortunately for us in the 10 months we have met and really got on with 4 partners of family, so they're now on the list! 

    We decided if we are going to go over on anything it would be the people we have there, because we know so many people who wish they had invited who mattered to them. That being said stick to your guns and hold fast! Don't have people there because someone else says you have to! No one is entitled to an invitation to your wedding! 
  • I am having the exact same problem! In the beginning we were very strict saying that we will only invite the partners of those we met. This meant essentially 2 cousins on my mums side weren't going to get their other half invited, however at my sisters wedding 3 weeks ago we met one of them. Now the issue is if we invite one of the cousins other half we feel we should probably invite the other one too as they are brothers, but then thats an extra £200 while might not seem much to some we are paying for the wedding ourselves and all mounts up quickly!

    With his family the issue will be kids - as we are only having our niece and no other children and drama already started there when we sent save the dates (really cute magnets) and then my OH got a text going where are the childrens' magnets (we were only doing 1 per family anyway!) so that is going to probably going to start family arguments soon as the invites are going out after Easter.

    I think in the end you just have to draw a line somewhere and explain as nicely as possible your reasoning! Remember it's your day have people there who mean something to you and YOU want to be there. Don't bow to family pressure (easier said than done I know!)

    Good Luck!!!!
  • I'm so glad I'm not the only one going through this..... I'm sure wedding planning is meant to be fun and exciting but sometimes u just feel like it's a pain and u wish you'd eloped. We've said we aren't going over our 70 day guests and are definitely not willing to pay any extra for anyone, I've said it in a nicer way while my OH has just said.. . If u don't like it don't come 😂🙈 although I do thank him for being like that. People forget it's the bride and grooms day, no one else. 

    Good luck to u both with your weddings. Our isn't until next October so another 18 months of this 🙈
  • longhaullonghaul Posts: 22 New bride
    to be honest you asking people to give up their day to come honor your relationship, its incredibly rude to then disrespect and undermine their relationship in the same swift move... by not inviting them your telling them they're relationship isn't as good/important as yours

    'no partners' may work for casual evening invites like co-workers where you just invite the whole office as a 'work' thing but for family/friends its pretty rude, they're relationship doesn't need you to be a part of it to be just as valid as yours
  • CoffeeDogAddictCoffeeDogAddict Posts: 1,205 New bride
    @longhaul while that's a valid statement, if their partner has made no effort to to to events to meet their partners friends, why should you be expected to pay god knows what for them to attend? We had this debate recently with regards to a cousins partner. They've been together 3 years, and not ONCE have they come to ANY family event that has included all the extended family, so we aren't inviting them. Its not the day to be meeting someone for the first time, and if they are happy to not be close to the couple and not make an effort with their partners friends, i'm sure they wont be offended by not being invited.
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