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Wedding in 3 weeks and feel mehhh about bridesmaid

JMB2019JMB2019 Posts: 74 New bride
has anyone else felt like this/ got encouragement/ suggestions 

I have 4 BMs, 2 cousins and 2 friends. One of the friends was asked because my other friend initially said they didn’t want to be a BM long story short she is now. 

It came to my hen party and my friend BM (not the one that added on late) refused to contribute £50 toward my cost (I DID NOT EXPECT THEM TO PAY FOR MINE) anyway she caused a big fuss after saying she would pay for mine. Everything I have booked/ paid for I haven’t heard one thanks. 

We are are good friends but just feel like we are on a totally different wave length. On the hen party she didn’t really help the bridesmaid prepare the room with decorations etc. 

I just feel feel like I would rather she wasn’t one but she hasn’t done anything that bad that I can say to her not to be one. What do I do? Suck it up and get on with it? 


  • CoffeeDogAddictCoffeeDogAddict Posts: 1,515 New bride
    edited May 2019
    Personally, i'm of the belief that if you want to "demote" someone you have to be willing to completely end the friendship, because most times thats what happens. 

    If you want to stay friends in some form but think that shes just being a bad BM, personally id say just ignore it, don't let her get to you and enjoy you day as it is, without removing her. 

    Having been a MOH twice its only now its my turn i realise i may have been a bad one, but purely because i didnt know what was expected of me, and i didnt have the time or money to invest in someone elses life event.  

    It may be she just doesnt really get how these things are, or maybe shes a bit fed up of having so much going on for someone else, but I think your answer lies in what future you want for your friendship. 
  • MrsOD19MrsOD19 Posts: 894 New bride
    I totally agree with @CoffeeDogAddict, I ‘demoted’ a bridesmaid but she was being horrible to both me and my other bridesmaids over the hen do and it had definitely been a long time coming that the friendship was going to end (I think I asked her in the hope it wouldn’t) but it’s not fun and it’s  such a horrid situation-we haven’t spoken since that day.  Although I’m glad about it because it’s a weight lifted, it’s not a decision to take lightly and you only have three weeks.  If you’re fully okay with losing her as a friend then go ahead, but if you want to continue the friendship I would just keep it to yourself and carry on with your day! If you want to bring it up with her afterwards then you can do and explain how she made you feel, but at this stage just focus on your wedding to your hubby 
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