To bridesmaid or not to bridesmaid that is the question....


I'd appreciate views on this one please. I have one niece who is 14 and can't decide whether or not to ask her to be my bridesmaid. On the one hand I think it could be nice - we don't live close to each other and because I hardly see her, don't really feel like I have much of a relationship with her. It could be a nice opportunity to build a friendship with her. However, she is very moody and can be quite stroppy. I don't want my wedding day to be ruined by that, or be about having to passify her. I know that she has always wanted to be a bridesmaid, but I wonder if that was something that she wanted to do when she was young, and I guess it would add another £400 or so onto the bill which is another consideration.

I hope this doesn't come across very cynical, but would appreciate thoughts on what you think I should do. I've spoken to my Mum and she thinks I should ask her, but my sister thinks I shouldn't. I'm 50/50 to be honest.



  • TBH i wouldnt. I think BMs are too much hassle anyway and didnt have any! If you dont see her often then do u really want her up there with u, and in all the pics, with u when ur getting ready etc?
  • annipooannipoo Posts: 206 New bride
    Hmm, I probably wouldn't bother. It would be different if you had a really close relationship but from what you've said it sounds like you're just trying to be a good aunt.

    I'm having 2 bridesmaids but the 3 of us are best friends and have been a massive part of each others lives for the past 15 years. I can't imagine not walking down the aisle without their support and it just doesn't seem like you have the same outlook towards your niece. 
  • I't isn't really about your relationship with your niece, i would say its more about your relationship with your sister/brother (her parent). Will it offend them if you don't ask for her to be a bridesmaid? Or do they not mind either way? Ive had a similar situation myself, and though my life would be a lot easier if i had less bridesmaids ( i have 7!) I wouldn't have it any other way, its not worth the hassle when it comes to family politics, and I decided i would rather have more people walk down the aisle with me than potentially offending anyone! But if its not going to cause any issues at all with any of your family then you certainly shouldn't feel compelled to ask her, hope that helps! :smile:
  • Hi.

    I have decided not to ask my niece. Thank you for your thoughts - they helped me to clarify my thinking :)


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