Love me when I’m old and shockingPeel off my elastic stockingsSwing me from the chandeliersLet’s be randy bad old dears.
Push around my chromed Bath ChairLet me tease your white chest hairScaring children, swapping denturesLet us have some great adventures
Take me to the Dogs and BingoTeach me how to speak the lingoBone my eels and bring me teaShow me how it’s meant to be
Take me to your special placesWatching all the puzzled facesYou in shorts and socks and sandalsMe with warts and huge love-handles
As the need for love enthrallsWrestle with my damp proof smallsMake me laugh without constraintBuy me chocolate body paint
Hold me safe throughout the nightWhen my hair has turned to whiteBelieve me when I say it’s trueI’ve waited all my life for you