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Is it mean not to have SIL as a bridesmaid?

pagegirl02_pagegirl02_ Posts: 2 New bride
edited September 2019 in Planning
We are having a small wedding and I’ve chosen my two best friends to be joint maid of honour (which they are very happy with!) and no other bridesmaids. We have a fairly big group of friends, some of whom I know are a bit disappointed not to be asked, but we can’t have everyone and so chose to keep it to a minimum.

However, my fiancé’s sister has asked him outright if she is a bridesmaid. We had no idea she would be interested at all - last time one of her friends got married, she told my fiancé that she felt being a bridesmaid would be too much attention (she’s very shy), so we have always thought she would do a reading at our wedding instead.

I feel a bit awkward as it’s not like we don’t get along, and she is very excited about the wedding. But we aren’t super close or besties. We had a plan to include her as a reader and ask her to help with some crafts as she is very creative. Is it mean of me not to ask her to be a bridesmaid as well?

My fiancé and I also have a slightly difficult relationship with his mum, and I have a niggling suspicion that she is the one putting pressure on his sister to ask about this.



  • Sounds like she just asked if shes a bridesmaid. She might have just used the wrong language to ask if shes involved in the wedding.

    It's your wedding, do what you like. We know there is often family policitcs but heres my advice. You have a lot of people coming to your wedding. Everyone has an opinion, everyone has a view. Dont try to please everyone as you will spend all of your time worrying about everyone else and zero time on doing what you want on YOUR wedding day.

    Just explain whos in your bridal party but dont go into any details whatsoever as to why you made those choices. You should never need to justify what YOU do on YOUR wedding. If anyone does ever put pressure on you to explain your choices just politely say "This is what ive chosen".
    Chief user of crayons at the fabulous Minty Slippers Wedding Films
  • OmRumOmRum Posts: 947 New bride
    I agree with the above comment. It's your wedding so you do you, and don't feel like you have to explain your choices to people. I didn't have my SIL as a bridesmaid as I preferred to have my three best friends (although she never asked, to be fair). We asked her to be a witness instead. I think asking your SIL to do the reading and help with preparations is fair enough. If she's excited about helping out, you should have fun with the crafts.
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