Uncooperative bridesmaid

Bridesmaid not being co operative

Need some help. I have recently got engaged and got so excited and rushed in on asking one of my oldest friends (lets call her Sarah) to be one of my bridesmaids... I can only have 6 BMs as my groom wants 6 grooms men and I want to match them up and quite frankly the idea of more bridesmaids makes my head spin. Recently over the past 2/3 years I have drifted away from Sarah and got closer with other people. There is someone who quite frankly at this moment in time id rather have as a bridesmaid, but being one of my oldest friends I thought id go with Sarah. It was a hard choice but It was one I have made. …. Now fast forward to selecting a bridesmaid dress, I have a vision in my head and with out being bridezilla I have dreamed of this for years and was over the moon when my plans were finally going to become reality. I want short yellow dresses for my bridesmaids. Now in my excitement I have been texting Sarah and all my other Bridesmaids pictures of dresses and every response from Sarah is "That is vile!" or "that better be a joke". There is no constructive criticism other than can we not have any other colour. Yellow is my whole colour scheme!!!! She is just being so derogatory and when I try to confront her on it she simply says i'd rather not be a bridesmaid than wear that dress. Everyone who knows Sarah and our friendship has said that they think I should tell her that she cannot be a bridesmaid if she is being so horrible about it (my Husband to be has never liked her as he does not like the way she talks to me or treats me, I think he sees it from a different POV). Am I out of order to say she cannot be a bridesmaid because of her attitude??? I am a pretty laid back bride if she tried on the outfit and said to me look I wont feel comfortable in this then of course I would change it. But I feel that 1) she would say that anyways to play on my nature and 2) its more her attitude towards things than the dress its self. Sorry to ramble but this is really taking away from what should be such an exciting time!so I guess the question is, am I being a bridezilla?


  • I think if ur having issues with her already then itll only get worse. If you ask her to step down as BM itll likely be the end of your friendship- you ok with that happening?
  • I think I've tried so hard because I desperately want to keep her as a friend but its so one way I fear I dont have a choice 
  • i would say give her the choice, explain how you feel in that you have always envisioned your wedding being this way and you would really love the bridesmaids in yellow dresses, if she is happy with that great, and if not then say something along the lines of 'if you would rather not wear yellow and be part of the bridesmaids then i totally understand but would love you to be a part of my wedding as a valued guest' that way its up to her whether to stop being a bridesmaid or to just buck up and wear the dress you want, might save you from feeling awful and ending the friendship as it gives her the choice instead of just telling her she shouldn't be a bridesmaid? :smile:
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