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Bridesmaid stopped talking and best man refuses to wear a suit!

Laura349Laura349 Posts: 1,001 New bride
Exactly what it says on the title really... 

I originally had two bridesmaids - my two friends who I’ve know for years. 

When I asked them both they were both really excited  and we spoke regularly. 
It’s been since September just after my sons birthday when one of my bridesmaids have stopped talking to me, about anything! 

It’s annoying as I’ve no idea what I’ve done, the last time I properly spoke to her was the day before my sons birthday just to see if her son was still wanting to come to the party, she said yes and that they’d be there, but they didn’t show, and my friend hasn’t spoke to me since! 

To top it off we found out yesterday that my fiancé’s best man (his nephew) has been complaining to his sister that he doesn’t want to wear a suit for the wedding and won’t be buying one! 

We don’t have a massive social circle so we are unsure what to do about the situation! 
We now only have one person attending the ceremony who isn’t family and that can be a witness! 

We have 6 months to go until the day... what can we do? 

Posts

  • MrsMidtobeMrsMidtobe Posts: 151 New bride
    Have you tried to contact the bridesmaid and ask her if something is wrong? 

    With regards to the suit situation, I think it’s would be best to ask him directly rather than go through other people. I’d be inclined to say if you aren’t buying someone’s outfit then you don’t really get a say in what they wear unless this has been previously agreed? My brother in law categorically refuses to wear a suit for anything, but on our big day he looked nice and smart. 

    I am confused though by the witness thing, do you only have 1 guest? Why can’t a family member be a witness? We had my husbands parents as witnesses as my parents both walked me down the aisle

    Try not to worry, just focus on the day with you OH and getting married :smile:
  • Laura349Laura349 Posts: 1,001 New bride
    Have you tried to contact the bridesmaid and ask her if something is wrong? 

    With regards to the suit situation, I think it’s would be best to ask him directly rather than go through other people. I’d be inclined to say if you aren’t buying someone’s outfit then you don’t really get a say in what they wear unless this has been previously agreed? My brother in law categorically refuses to wear a suit for anything, but on our big day he looked nice and smart. 

    I am confused though by the witness thing, do you only have 1 guest? Why can’t a family member be a witness? We had my husbands parents as witnesses as my parents both walked me down the aisle

    Try not to worry, just focus on the day with you OH and getting married :smile:
    We have been told that the witnesses cannot be family members, although now you’ve said that I may check with my local council and see what is said. 

    As for contacting the bridesmaid, I see her every morning on the school run and have asked her if anything is wrong etc but she’s just said no and not spoke anymore. 

    As for the suit / batsman he previously agreed with my fiancé that he would wear a suit to look small even though he isn’t keen on them, I think that’s what’s annoying my OH so much, is that his best man is going back on what he said. 

    We have 30 guests coming to the ceremony, so maybe one of them can be a witness - hopefully 
  • MrsPope2018MrsPope2018 Posts: 1,375 New bride
    I dont see why you wouldnt be able to have family as witnesses, we had both of our mums as ours, definitely double check. 
  • OmRumOmRum Posts: 943 New bride
    Anyone can be your witnesses except yourselves and the celebrant. We had our siblings. 

    Your friend may be going through stuff you don't know about and she doesn't want to talk about. People go through phases, so I'd just keep inviting her to stuff and see how it goes. 
  • Samantha265Samantha265 Posts: 686 New bride
    Either openly challenge her about it, do nothing, or politely ask her to step down. If the suit is a big deal then speak to him about it. If he agreed to wear a suit fair enough, but if he cant afford to buy one then you can hire him one surely. 
  • Laura349Laura349 Posts: 1,001 New bride
    Either openly challenge her about it, do nothing, or politely ask her to step down. If the suit is a big deal then speak to him about it. If he agreed to wear a suit fair enough, but if he cant afford to buy one then you can hire him one surely. 
    I haven openly confronted her about it all, and she didn’t say anything. I haven’t heard from her for 4 months now, so we shall see how things go when the school are back after the Christmas break. 

    As for my fiancé’s nephew, he has more money than we do, but my fiancé has said he’ll speak with him about it and see what’s going on. :smile:
  • Samantha265Samantha265 Posts: 686 New bride
    Well then I'd ask her to step down. 
  • MrsCToBeeMrsCToBee Posts: 2,957 New bride
    Family can definitely be witnesses, we had our mums. 
    Tell nephew he either wears a suit or he isn't best man. It's only for a few hours.
  • OmRumOmRum Posts: 943 New bride
    I don't get the suit issue... Generally, one wears a suit to a wedding, especially if one is part of the groom's party! So why would you accept being a best man if you didn't want to wear one?

    One of my husband's groomsmen openly complained about his suit, but he wore it for the ceremony and the photos, then changed for the reception. Perhaps that is a compromise your best man might accept?
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