Hi everyone, I’m having a really hard time making a decision on a very sensitive subject. My biological father will be at my wedding because he’s recently (since his second wife died a couple of years ago) decided that he wants to be in my life. I have only seen him a handful of times over the past 25 years. He was never around, never came to any of my activities growing up, didn’t come to my high school graduation, never even sent so much as a birthday or Christmas card my whole life. But now that he’s older and his wife died, he’s lonely and expects our relationship to just suddenly be completely normal.
I am extremely close to my stepdad though. He married my mom when I was 7 years old and has never, not even once, missed a single activity I’ve done since then. He is the one that came to all the “doughnuts for dads” events at school every year. He’s the one that financially supported me and is always right there if I need anything at all. I feel like he’s my “dad”.
My problem is, since my biological father is coming to my wedding because he’s all sad, lonely, depressed, and feeling “sorry” for not being there for me growing up, wants to make things right and I am TRYING to be the bigger person. BUT I don’t want to do the father/daughter dance with him. I think it would feel completely awkward and uncomfortable because he’s kinda like a stranger to me. My mom and my fiancé say that I need to include him because “he is trying” and it would really hurt his feelings to watch me dance with my stepdad instead of him.