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September limbo?

MabelcatBMabelcatB Posts: 30 New bride
Hi all, hope everyone is doing ok and sending lots of love to those of you who have already had to postpone.

Is anyone due to get married in or around September? I know it's still too soon to make decisions about postponing and our venue is focused on couples due to get married sooner, but I'm just wondering how everyone else is feeling.

Some days I think we'll be fine, it will be a lovely reunion celebration for everyone and we'll go ahead as planned, other days I just can't see it happening. Plus my OH and all four parents are in the vulnerable group, so even if we can go ahead in some way we'll have to think really hard about if we do to protect them (then deal with the fees/potentially lose money etc). I kinda wish the venue would just say we have to postpone and take the decision out of our hands rather than the unknown and anxiety!

We live in England but were due to get married in Wales, which is still a few weeks behind on lockdown. All our parents and family are there too and keep saying we should be pushing the venue to postpone. Personally I don't want to start hassling our venue right now because they'll be focused on earlier couples! What would you do?

Posts

  • MrsE2be2020MrsE2be2020 Posts: 16 New bride
    I am completely with you! Due to get married 12th September. We checked in with our venue about a month ago, I just sent a simple email saying that I hope they are well and that we are still hoping everything will go ahead as planned. They then called me to check in and reassure me which was lovely and they said they were working in date order so would be formally contacting us end of May. I think at the moment we will try and pencil in another date but i'm still holding out hope that we can go ahead as I know moving to 2021 we will have to compromise to a mid week wedding as they dont have any weekends free. 

    We are relatively lucky that I dont think we have many, if any people in vulnerable groups. We had sent out all our day invites before lockdown and have had about half of them back so far. I dont want to chase them yet as have said that RSVP deadline in July but would be good to know what people are thinking.

    We are supposed to be going to Florida for 2 weeks a few days after the wedding for our honeymoon and I am feeling like this is less and less likely to happen! We were due to fly with Virgin from Gatwick so we are waiting to hear about our flights and God knows if Disney will be open again or if the borders will be open and we can get visas!

    I'm trying to not stress about it and have good days and bad days. In a very selfish way I wish we as brides and grooms could get some clarity about gatherings in the future, I know in the grand scheme of things there are much more important things to focus on but for most of us a lot of time, passion, energy and money has gone into planning our weddings and just having no clue what will happen is horrible.
  • ClareBClareB Posts: 87 New bride
    We postponed from April to end of September and are now looking at postponing to 2021. Our venue does a mix of weddings and corporate events and it was us who got in touch with them to find out what our options were. They've said we can only postpone within a year of our original date (not in the contract, pretty arbitrary) and we had actually already paid to postpone from April to September (using a standard clause in our contract), so we may end up pushing back on this.

    A word of warning, we were able to quite easily postpone from April 2020 to September 2020 but it seems we are going to lose some of our suppliers moving to 2021 as they are booked up already, so I think it's worth starting a conversation with people just so you know what your options are.

    I do think I'd feel more keen to stick to my September date if that had been my original date, but it's just a date that worked and seemed far enough away when we postponed back in March!
  • GreyhoundGirlGreyhoundGirl Posts: 12 New bride
    We were due to get married on Sept 12th and postponed after the announcement this weekend to Aug 2021. I had already contacted my venue a month ago about possibilities so knew all saturdays were booked up and we'd be moving to a Friday (or 2022) so I was holding out hope for Sept, but I just couldn't take the uncertainty anymore. I feel very mixed about it, sad for the year we should have had but glad to release the anxiety I was holding and everyone has been super nice and supportive about the date change (we've been sent lots of cake in the post so that's always an upside!). I don't think there's any right decision here/way to know, it all depends on what's right for you at the time. I would advise to contact your venue about possible dates for next year, just to manage your own expectations so if you do have to postpone you can be realistic about your options and make the right decision for you. This really helped me and I was much calmer when we actually had to do it. Sending love to everyone at this horrible time!
  • cluelessbride01cluelessbride01 Posts: 177 New bride
    We're September and I'm feeling exactly the same as you. We also have a vulnerable parent and I'm also back and forward every day trying to decide what to do. This wedding is on my mind all of the time for one reason or another. It's nice in a way to know there are other people feeling the same.

    I think if I'm really honest with myself I know it won't be happening but I can't bring myself to pull the trigger and even if I could my fiance doesn't want to. He's positive and just keeps saying we don't have to decide yet.
  • cluelessbride01cluelessbride01 Posts: 177 New bride
    I forgot to add - we do have a backup date and I was relieved for the first week but it didn't last! I don't think the registrar will be available because of all the postponements already done.
  • MabelcatBMabelcatB Posts: 30 New bride
    Thanks all. I emailed our venue to check in about 10 days ago and haven't heard back (they've been horrendous for communications all the way through so this is normal!). I'll chase them again today. For everyone who's postponed already, that's so great that the venues were understanding! We've had so many issues with ours so far from staff changes and just really bad management so I'm expecting some hefty fees or a bit of battle tbh. OH and I have agreed (to ourselves) that we'd be prepared to pay some form of fee if it came to it because we've been lucky to save up some more from not having our massive commutes to work during lockdown, but we're really hoping it won't come to that if we genuinely can't go ahead because of the restrictions!
  • MabelcatBMabelcatB Posts: 30 New bride
    I am completely with you! Due to get married 12th September. We checked in with our venue about a month ago, I just sent a simple email saying that I hope they are well and that we are still hoping everything will go ahead as planned. They then called me to check in and reassure me which was lovely and they said they were working in date order so would be formally contacting us end of May. I think at the moment we will try and pencil in another date but i'm still holding out hope that we can go ahead as I know moving to 2021 we will have to compromise to a mid week wedding as they dont have any weekends free. 

    We are relatively lucky that I dont think we have many, if any people in vulnerable groups. We had sent out all our day invites before lockdown and have had about half of them back so far. I dont want to chase them yet as have said that RSVP deadline in July but would be good to know what people are thinking.

    We are supposed to be going to Florida for 2 weeks a few days after the wedding for our honeymoon and I am feeling like this is less and less likely to happen! We were due to fly with Virgin from Gatwick so we are waiting to hear about our flights and God knows if Disney will be open again or if the borders will be open and we can get visas!

    I'm trying to not stress about it and have good days and bad days. In a very selfish way I wish we as brides and grooms could get some clarity about gatherings in the future, I know in the grand scheme of things there are much more important things to focus on but for most of us a lot of time, passion, energy and money has gone into planning our weddings and just having no clue what will happen is horrible.
    We're supposed to be the 19th and were planning on flying out to Italy on honeymoon (not booked yet) on the 21st. Fingers crossed you get some clarity about yours soon. Disney sounds amazing!
  • MabelcatBMabelcatB Posts: 30 New bride
    ClareB said:
    We postponed from April to end of September and are now looking at postponing to 2021. Our venue does a mix of weddings and corporate events and it was us who got in touch with them to find out what our options were. They've said we can only postpone within a year of our original date (not in the contract, pretty arbitrary) and we had actually already paid to postpone from April to September (using a standard clause in our contract), so we may end up pushing back on this.

    A word of warning, we were able to quite easily postpone from April 2020 to September 2020 but it seems we are going to lose some of our suppliers moving to 2021 as they are booked up already, so I think it's worth starting a conversation with people just so you know what your options are.

    I do think I'd feel more keen to stick to my September date if that had been my original date, but it's just a date that worked and seemed far enough away when we postponed back in March!
    Thanks for the advice! That seems unfair of the venue to put that restriction on you when it's not in the contract. I hope you don't lose too many of your suppliers!
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