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It's just as rude to say someone is getting skinny!

Hiya,



Hopefully I am posting this in the right place. I don't really think I am classed as petite as I am quite tall (5ft 6-7 inches). Anyway, I was out yesterday at a christening and I was a trying to get past a table, a friend grabbed my waist and announced that "I am getting really skinny"!. I didn't say anything in response, just carried on to my seat and sat down.



I was quite shocked though and although I know she wasn't saying it out of spite, I just thought it's rude to say to someone that they are getting fat so why say it if someone is skinny (in their opinion!). Although I am tall, I have a small waist but I do have a bum and hips (classic pear shape) so it's not like I'm really skinny at all.



I don't know - maybe I'm being oversensitive but I am sensitive about my weight I suppose and for someone to draw attention to it upsets me a little as I am paranoid about looking ill. I did lose a lot of weight a few years ago going from a size 12 to an 8 and yes, I did look ill then but nothing was said to me until after I put the weight back on. Now I am a healthy size 12 (14 in some clothes) so I suppose I should just take the comment on the chin but can't help how it made me feel at the time.



Posts

  • i wrote a comment then it delected it all!! but basically i agree with u that its rude to comment on peoples weight..fat or thin xxx
  • I think it depends - I'd be please because I am trying to lose weight but you never know if someone has had issues with anorexia, bulimia or just sensitive about their weight. I agree people should be more discerning about such comments but dont take it to heart it was meant as a compliment!
  • rakchoprakchop Posts: 348
    For a long time i was size 4/6 until i was about 23ish. It used to really annoy me that people kept telling me i was too skinny, that i should eat more blah blah blah ... i think people though i didnt eat or something, but i was just naturally thin. ... it really used to get me down because comments were made very often .. infact one girls nickname for me was "skinny". I even went to the doctors to find out if there was anything medical causing it, but all tests showed i was fine.



    Thanks to an underactive thyroid i put on a bit weight, i went up to a size 12 .. which is a lot from being a size 4/6.



    Im now an 8/10 and thankfully dont get any comments made about my weight. I do agree that to make comments about peoples weight isnt nice, which ever side your on xx
  • tabbytapstabbytaps Posts: 1,175
    Yes it is rude!!!! I have to say these where the only negative things I found whilst planning my wedding. I am 5'8" so not petite really, but I am a size 8.

    I had a lot of huffy sales assistants when trying on dresses when they had to pin me in and one woman even said " Your too small! I'll have to get my bulldog clip to pin you in!" I thought she was joking but she actually went and got one!!!

    The worst experience was when I went underwear shopping at an extremely well known outlet- all i'll say is the queen uses this company so they ought to know some manners. I was asked to strip off and put the underwear on and in front of my mum, the sales assistant said DO NOT LOSE ANYMORE WEIGHT, your looking a little anorexic, doesn't your mother feed you!?!

    I was shocked, my mum was shocked and the sales woman just laughed it off!!!! She then huffed that she had to ask the shops seamstress to make the bra i'd chosen smaller as they didn't stock 'that size!!!'

    Sad and hurtful!!!

    xxx
  • Tabbytaps - thats awful!!!! What a horrid experience for you
  • mrshelen74mrshelen74 Posts: 9,282
    i had the same expereince as tabbytaps so hence i didnt get me dress from 1 perticular shop, i get comments all the time about howq skinny i am, it really does my head in, im smetimes made to feel like im too thin.
  • I think you are over-reacting IMO I think it is taken as a compliment saying you are slim, if you are a healthy size 12 then you know you do not look anorexic so I think it was just a friendly compliment.



    I think being told you are too skinny and look ill is rude of course.



    I am a size 6 and 5ft3 and my dad constantly tells me I am too skinny, but it doesnt bother me I am just naturally thin, he just remembered me pregnant and was in shock at it falling off so quick I think.



    I dont think any one should feel 'too thin' - helen maybe the girl in the shop was just jealous and trying to compliment you as it is seen as acceptable to comment on a lady being slim not obese

    xx
  • personally, i think it is rude. my usual weight is about 95lbs and i went up to 172lbs when pregs. i am now down to close my usual but perhaps a stone more and i get comments ranging from how much bigger i look now and i am 'struggling' with my weight to others saying how it suits me better now i have 'lost all that weight'. i have battled with anorexia and bulimia in the past and find such comments in bad taste but if i know someone is trying to lose weight, i will usualy coment how well they look. i do not mention weight. if i know someone is sensitive about their weight or have no idea how they feel about it, i refrain from saying anything. I haven't exactly struggled to lose my preg weight cos i was bf for so long and didn't WANT to 'diet' then but i have to admit to stopping sooner than i wanted to because of teh coments so i could concentrate which was totally the wrong thing cos although my baby is happy enough, i feel like i have missed out and being my third, she may well be my last.

    sorry, i digress but it makes me feel as mad as you seem to when ppl wsay stuff unnecessarily. x`

  • I agree it is completely rude - 'skinny' is not a word that has particularly positive connotations and just as its not acceptable to grab someone's belly and say 'you've put on a few pounds' likewise it is not acceptable to say 'you're looking skinny'.



    If it is intended as a compliment then what is wrong with saying 'you look lovely' rather than focusing on the size of a person.



    I had been a size 10 at 5'4" for as long as I can remember and was always quite happy with that until I joined a gym (as I was intending to apply to the police and wanted to train for the fitness test) I had to have an initial 'health check' and after stepping on the body monitor scales was very 'politely' (not) told in front of my partner that I was 'overweight'. Of course I was upset by this and the fitness instructor went on to say 'don't worry about it, technically Kate Moss is overweight' ....yeah like that helps. Of course he was referring to BMI but hey ho.



    So anyway after refusing to go to the gym again for at least 2 years I finally decided I wanted, not to lose weight, but to tone up.



    I have since March lost 16lbs and gone to to a size 6/8 and I am now extremely happy with my figure but now I am getting 'you don't want to lose anymore weight, there's nothing of you'. I am constantly having to justify to people why I am eating healthily and going to the gym...it's not because I am on a diet it is because I feel healthier when I eat well and exercise!!!



    Anyway rant over but the general gist is I don't see why people feel the need to comment on people's weight whether they are big or small.
  • I totally agree that it's rude and thoughtless for people to point out how skinny you are. As has been mentioned before, you would never point out how fat somebody was. If you did, you would be labelled a b!tch and would end up with no friends.



    I am 26, 5'3" and a size 6 (and have been this size since I was 14). All I ever seem to get at work is how skinny I am, how I should eat more, how I'm tiny, etc. And god forbid that I let on that I'm cold (which I always am) cos then I get "it's becuase you need some more meat on you". Grrrrr! Imagine if when other people said they were hot, I said it's because you need to lose some of that meat?!



    I went out for my Christmas lunch with my team last week and we had a three course meal. I was really enjoying myself until the topic of conversation turned to how much I'd eaten, how much I usually eat, how often I eat, why I am so small, etc. After about 30 minutes of this and everyone staring at me, I was ready to go home and cry.



    I don't look unhealthy or bony, I'm just naturally very petite, as are my entire family. I eat little and often (not becuase I am told to but becuase if I don't eat often, I get light headed and shaky) and because if I try to eat lots in one go, I get full quickly. I have 32C boobs and a nice little bum and I like to think that I look like a petite womanly lady rather than just a 'skinny' girl, which doesn't exactly make me feel very attractive or good about myself. I think the point about simply telling someone they look lovely, rather than commenting on their size, is a good one.



    I'm sorry for the rant, but I just wanted to let everyone know that they're not alone on this one! x
  • I think you are over-reacting IMO x
  • hi im 5ft 2.5 and about a size 8ish howver a couple of years ago i was a small size 6 this was in the days a size 4 didnt exsist i was in top shop and was trying in a size 6 skirt it was to big i asked the shop assisitant if any of the other styles were smaller she point blank said no and suggested i should put on some weight instead of looking so skinny. i was horrified and im not one of those poeple who doesnt speak her mind i complained to the manager about how disgraceflly her staff had spoken to me as you would never ever tell a fat person to loose some weight to get in to a size would you. filled in a compalints form and got a £50 top shop voiucher in the post result !!



    xxxx
  • I've had lots of comments about being too skinny too. I'm 5 ft 2 and a size 6. I eat what I like but continually get comments about "not eating enough". I'm a C cup and have curves.



    I honestly think the comments come from other womens' insecurities.



    The comments generally come from those who, how can I say tactfully, should maybe eat LESS. They are unhappy at not being at their best and desperately want you to be in the same boat as them. They'd feel more comfortable with you if you were out of shape too.



    Be proud of your size. It is their problem not yours.



    It is extremely rude to comment on being 'skinny'. The purpetrators would be devastated if you responded that they were fat!!
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