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Anyone been made to feel too skinny?

:Hi there, I know this is a strange topic but I hope someone out there knows how I feel.

I recently went dress shopping and I was main to feel really uncomfortable. She kept saying how skinny I was and how how need to put on weight and everryone joined in.

I'm 5'2 and 45kg or 7 1/2 stone in old money. i'm size 6 but my bottom is getting a bit bigger at size 6/8. I have a very small chest and as a result many people look at me as if I were a school girl.

I thought 45kg was quite a reasonable weight. I have lost some muscle tone recently and I know that weighs more so i do need to tone up.

It annoys me how some people find it acceptable to say how skinny you are when if it was reversed and they said how fat i was people would understandably get upset. It really upset the way everyone felt they had a right to comment on me and make me feel like an alein!

I do need to get to th gym and tone up, I know, but has anyone else experineced anything like this. Or am I making a fuss about nothing.

Any help or ideas gratfully received xxxx



[Modified by: Milly0909 on 11 March 2008 12:52:33 ]



[Modified by: Milly0909 on 11 March 2008 12:54:38 ]
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  • Oh my god I so agree with you, I tried on dresses last week and she used bull dog clips to hold it together and everyone was laughing cause the dress kept falling down. I felt like saying you think it's ok to treat me like this cause I'm a size 8 but if I was an 18 and you laughed because you couldn't get the zip up it would be a different story then. I felt really ugly trying on dresses and really upset by it so I know what you mean!! xxx
  • soon2bewsoon2bew Posts: 304
    Yes !!!!!

    its sooooo annoying i'm not too thin,

    they used the bull dog clips on me too!!!

    god knows what the dress is going to look like when it arrives in my size it'll be totally different!!! i'm also 5 foot 2 weighting in at 7 stone 5 with 30 c boobs (i hate them want a bood job) i'm always being called skinny i'm really not.I have a small frame, also not very toned i have jiggly bits lol.

    My mums always giving me a hard time,she said the other week i had to put weight on i can't look like this in my wedding dress!!!!!
  • cathymukcathymuk Posts: 2,675
    couldn't agree more, i had this attitude in a couple of shops, as I am a very similar size..I'm not thin, I am slim and I couldn't believe people would dare comment about my size. It was mostly because they were too lazy to pin the dresses and instead used bull dog clips which never held the dresses up!

    As you say they would never dream of remarking to a larger lady and quite right too.

    I got comments about disappearing behind a snooker cue etc etc, so funny, not.



    But most of the shops were great and never remarked except to say what a lovely figure, which was much nicer all round!

    In caroline castigliano where I eventually bought my dress they postively celebrated my petite status and made me feel fabulous. My advice is, if any store passes comment, move on and find somewhere that is not so rude!



    Don't let it put you off, go find your dream dress and enjoy being petite!

    xx
  • Good advice toosexylady, I wasn't made to feel thin in the shop I bought my dress from although they had to shove a pillow down my back in order to tie the dress up (which actually felt really nice!)...dress shopping for your wedding should be the most enjoyable experience of your life, not one that leaves you feeling unworthy! I remember when I had a very flat chest and would go into lingerie stores trying on bras how bad it felt to not fit any of them, well when they give us size a million dresses in bridal shops it's the same thing all over, your figure not at all being hugged by the gorgeous fabric. Sorry everyone experienced this and I hope that when their dress arrives it makes them feel so much happier about the situation! xx
  • sarah_jane77uksarah_jane77uk Posts: 1,421
    Hello



    i know exactly what you mean, i'm 30 size 6/8 and 7st. My wedding dress looks like a dolls dress and the women in the shop (and my mum) keeps going on and on about how skinny I am. I dont think I am as am only 5ft. Every time I went to try a dress on got the usual comments and in the end I felt as though I should apologise for being like this.image
  • EmCBEmCB Posts: 1,390
    I agree, and I'm not even that small! I'm 5'7", size 10, and the lovely lady at my wedding dress shop was being complimentary and telling me how skinny I was (I honestly don't think I am, I'm fairly average), at which point my mum and sister (my CBM) ganged up on me. Mum said, "well, you never eat a proper lunch" and my sister declared, in front of two otehr sales assistants and another bridal party, "yes, you really need to sort out your eating disorder, it's sickening". I was so insulted and shocked I had no idea what to say! I eat like a pig!!!! The poor lady helping me with my dress had no idea what to say. I'm honestly not that skinny, I've got big hips and big boobs, I'm happy with myself, thank you very much! It only got worse when the girl ordered me a size 8 dress, because she said if it wasn't for my boobs she'd be ordering a 6. Great comment if I'd been on my own, not so good in front of mum and sister - my sister actually had a strop. Grr! Family - who'd have them, eh?
  • emilia84emilia84 Posts: 293
    You don't know how relieved I feel to here from you guys. I was beginning to think I was the only one felling this and starting to believe those nasty people who said i need to eat more (I eat like a horse!!) and making me feel like a naughty school girl.

    I am going to leave the dress shopping for a few months now and maybe tone up I think.

    Like you guys i'm not thin i'm slim and I don't se why we/i have to apologise for that. Big beautiful ladies celebrate their size so we should too.

    If another shop insults me like that again I shall get out of that shop quick smart. Is it worth asking them if they have any dresses to try on in a 6/8 rather then trying to bull dog clip me into one that is four sizes to big? xxxxxx
  • EmCBEmCB Posts: 1,390
    I think, sadly, the bulldog clipping is inevitable. The average dress size is 16-18, so these shops tend to carry samples in those sizes (or bigger, I tried on a size 20 in Leighton Buzzard Pronuptia and they shoved car sponges down the back of it - not attractive!). I eventually found my dress in the most amazing shop in Newport Pagnell (I could talk about this place forever!) They were so brilliant that I didn't even consider trying to find my dress anywhere cheaper, I wanted to be looked after by them! They pinned me into the samples, so there was no big ugly clip on the dress, and it gave a much better representation of what my real dress would look like. I wasn't worried AT ALL about the size differences. When my dress arrived and I tried it on I was overjoyed, because the back looked exaclty as I'd pictured it. Hurrah! Don't put up with rude shops, down with jealous shop assistants!!!
  • emilia84emilia84 Posts: 293
    Hi EmB, I live in Milton Keynes and grew up in Newport Pagnell!! what was the name of the shop!? i'll have to give them a try xx
  • EmCBEmCB Posts: 1,390
    Oooh, Milly, another MK girlie, yay!



    The shop's called Vanilla Bridal, it's next to Zig Zag and opposite the Swan. I love them loads there, they're fabulous. Like I said, I didn't shop round because I knew they'd take so much hassle out of it. The owner, Alice, is a trained seamstress type person (I think she's more qualified than that, but you know what I mean!) and she's said that nearer to the wedding she'll sit me down for a big long chat to go through what to expect from my day, how to have time out with my new hubby, how to walk properly in my dress, how to find space for myself, and how to manouver myself when in the loo! I've just bought two out of my three bridesmaids' dresses from there too, and I've got my final bridesmaid dress appointment tonight to get the last one ordered. They're so helpful there, I'd recommend them to anyone!

    Have a look at their website, www.vanillabridal.com



    Where were the nasty shops that you tried? I went to Pronuptia in Leighton Buzzard and was not impressed at all.



    Whereabouts in MK are you? I'm in Westcroft, but I spend a lot of time in Newport because all my friends live there!
  • emilia84emilia84 Posts: 293
    Small world!!! my h2b has a house in Tattenhoe nr. westcroft! In fact now you mention it that shop was in Leighton Buzzard too, I just wandered in though so maybe they weren't impressed I didn't book. If pronuptia is the only bridal shop ther it must have been that one!! nast people.

    I am not getting married until 5 Sept 09 but i wanted to get a head start so I can cost stuff out and I know how difficult it is to find dresses. h2b is in the RAF (based nr oxford but comes back to his house on weekends) so we have quite a lot of balls etc to go to during the year so I have to find dresses for those. When are where you getting married?

    Milly xxx
  • EmCBEmCB Posts: 1,390
    My mum works in Tattenhoe!

    I'm getting married Friday 25th July in St Mary's Church, Shenley Church End. My parents live just up the path from it, so they picked it!

    Not sure if Pronuptia is the only shop in Leighton, but they weren't nice to me, made me feel like I was taking up their time despite having booked an appointment. THat, and they wanted me to pick a dress there and then, I did find a reasonable one by Essence, but it wasn't quite right and the girl kept telling me how perfect it was, and how I needed this veil and that tiara to set it off. She was not impressed when I said I didn't want to wear either!
  • emilia84emilia84 Posts: 293
    Wow, not long to go then!! I bet you can't wait. It seems lke ages until mine. I'm getting married in St mary's Church but in woughton-on-the-green and we're walking down the path to the Parkside hotel for the reception. I am living wiht my parents at the moment in Woolstone nearish willen lake so woughton on the green is just over chaffron way! I would live in h2bs house in tattenhoe but I would be on my own most of the time. Plus I save money, get fed and get my washing done at home!! hehe i have definietly regressed!! Do think it's too early to go look at dresses yet? Do you think Vanilla bridal will be able to help me so early? x
  • EmCBEmCB Posts: 1,390
    Yes, definitely, I bought my dress there on 16th Feb last year, it only arrived in store in the middle of December just gone, as they had no rush on it. They'd be able to advise you, theyr'e really helpful. I've been back to buy so many things from them now I feel like a veteran! Just got my final bridesmaid dress sorted, which is great.

    There's also All Things Bride and Beautiful in Buckingham, that's opposite Villiers Hotel. Basically I learned the hard way - Pronuptia = bad, Vanilla = good!
  • penfelynpenfelyn Posts: 96
    YES! I felt horrible when i went dress shopping. I don't like being so thin (i'm a 6 and 5 ft 2). The assistant where i eventually bought my dress was lovely though, as she could see i was self conscious about my size. She said i had a lovely figure and should be proud! Bless. On a serious note, i really don't like getting comments about my size. I find it really hurtful! Theres nothing i can do about it! People would never comment on a fat person! Grr. Also, i was a bit annoyed that all the dresses in the shops were at least a size 14, and looked ridiculous!
  • Laura_BukLaura_Buk Posts: 458
    Don't worry I know how you feel! I am 5' 6'' and a size 8. I haven't been to one shop where there were dresses in my size. Luckily the assistants were quite nice and complimentary, but still it's very disheartning when you walk out a changing room & a dress is falling off you! I didn't feel very womanly.



    People always go on at me for being thin, but I'm naturally like this! I eat a lot and excercise. I would never go on about people being fat, so why do people go on at me?
  • lholdenuklholdenuk Posts: 150
    Im size 8, im slim not skinny althou i eat healthly people keep saying 'dont lose anymore weight'! im like im not ive been like this for years. One friend actually said 'dont lose anymore weight u dont want to look like a bag of bones in ur dress!' i was really annoyed i think people do think its acceptable to say things like that. x
  • MrsVerneMrsVerne Posts: 421
    Hey girlies,

    So sorry you've all been having such nasty things said to you, but I thought I'd bring a bit of balance to the equation.

    Somebody mentioned that staff would never say similar comments to a 'fat' person? I'm 5'6" and a size 14/16 (E-cup boobs). I'm pretty happy with my figure, but I have had a total of 13 really nasty comments made about my figure in bridal shops, along the lines of...

    "Oh dear, SOMEbody needs to lose a few pounds!"

    "Well, you can try on a few, but we won't be able to do any of them up on someone as big as you"

    "We really don't cater for girls your size, we'd have to charge a little extra for the extra fabric..."

    "Have you thought about control-pants?"

    "Oh you really should get a dress with sleeves, love, wobbly bits on a bride's back and arms are unsightly!"

    "Thought about dieting?" (this one really got to me as most of my weight is due to massive weight-gain from steroids during chemotherapy! I eat VERY healthily!!!)



    Much like many of you, I eventually went with the only shop to make me feel an acceptable size (my dress lady told me I had the exact same figure as Marilyn Monroe - well known to be a size 16). Most places I went to only stocked size 8-10, so every gown I tried on gaped open at the back and I often came out in tears. In Pronuptia in Manchester they tried to put a BLOOD-STAINED panel down my back (apparently someone had been clumsy with a pin) to cover the giant open 'v'.



    So there you are, us 'larger' ladies get it, too. It's totally unfair to us guys and you guys, none of us can help how we look. Most of us bigger girls have to compete with this idealised 'size 0' most celebrites and models aspire to, and most of you smaller girls have to deal with the immense jealousy the insecure people put out there.

    My husband-to-be says I am the sexiest person in the world to him, he loves my curves. Your husbands-to-be all think YOU are the sexiest person in the world, that's one of the many reasons why they're marrying you. Ignore the jealous and snide comments, and as long as you're happy with the way you look, it really doesn't matter what anyone else says.



    xxx
  • mrshelen74mrshelen74 Posts: 9,282
    it happened to me last year when i went looking for my dress, assistannt kept saying things about how skinny i was made me feel like i had an eating disorder (which i dont just naturally thing) she made me try on a bridesmaid dress to get measurement and even that was too big, so i went elsewhere
  • penfelynpenfelyn Posts: 96
    Aww, sorry you had bad experiences too MrsVerne. I'm glad you got your dream dress in the end though. You're right, its unacceptable for people to judge us, no matter what our size. It saddens me that our society is so obsessed with appearances. x
  • annieonackoannieonacko Posts: 294
    Hi Milly0909,



    I too am 5''2 and 7st6. I actually don't live far from you either, i live in dunstable!!

    I had the same experience in a bridal shop. Bull dog clips were put on the back of the dress to hold it up and the assistant called all her colleagues over to look at my " non-existant waist", how rude!!!
  • EmCBEmCB Posts: 1,390
    That's awful, MrsJarvis2B! My best friend has a very athletic figure, small boobs and no waist, she really looks like a model, she's stunning! I'm the opposite of her though, and we both whinge on at each other about how much we wish we were in the other one's shoes! We always want what we can't have. Those bridal shop assistants were obviously jealous of you, MrsJarvis2B.
  • bradowellsbradowells Posts: 694
    god do you know what these bloomin bridal shops would make a hell of a lot more money if they just kept their opinions to themselves and suggested styles that would maybe suit peoples figures instead of trying to make them feel bad about what they have got!!! I one day hope to start my own business making my own designs of wedding dresses and I am reading everyones comments on here and taking them on board- think i'm going to satrt with having samples in smaller and larger sizes so that my brides don't feel uncomfortable before they start!! I luckily had good experiences with most dress shops when finding my dress thank god as I am critical enough of my own figure without having someone elses two peneth thrown in! I wish Gok Wan would go and teach these shop assistants some tact and the world would be a much better place!!!! x
  • I am 24 and look young. This is a sore thing, as get asked for ID everywhere I go. So I knew that when I went in to a dress shop last weekend I would be looked at funny. Sure enough I did. But also, I too was made to feel like a freak. The lady who got the dresses for me to try on was starring at me was I got changed in to each and I felt totally insecure. (I am 5'0 and 103lbs). She grabbed my upper arm at one point and was like ohh, youre tiny look I can fit my fingers around (she coudnt by the way). How would she have liked it if I had made fun of the fact she was a little on the chubby side. I found a dress I loved and she kept saying it was lovely, and would look alot better when I had put on weight for the wedding as the dress is made for a woman. (I just wanted to cry). Its not even as if I havent got boobs. Suffice to say i am not going back there and now about to buy my dress online. I was so looking forward to the experience but feel it was stolen from me. Sorry to hear that you have had a bad experince too. But we will all look amazing on our big day. image
  • krugie28krugie28 Posts: 487
    i can't beleive all these stories of people being horrible to larger or smaller girls, i hope none of you let it spoil one of the best bits of getting married.



    i was very wary when i went dress shopping as although i'm not fat as such i'm a 2.5 stone heavier than i usually am and felt very conscious of it. i'm 5'8 and carry it well (apparently!) but i have MASSIVE and i mean MASSIVE thighs / legs which i'm totally embarrassed about. i felt the need to explain to each shop lady that i'm not usually this fat, i've had a knee problem so couldn't exercise, used to ride my horses everyday and was really fit and slim etc etc



    i think these days unless you're perfectly proportioned and have a nice figure (and by that i don't mean skinny, i just mean you look nice in a bikini for example whether you're a size 8 or a size 16), you're in for some comment when shopping for anything from wedding dresses to jeans!



    i sympathise deeply with skinny girls as my best friend is really skinny, can't put weight on (despite the fact that she eats a lot), she's quite flat chested (sorry if not PC) but has really wide hips. she's a size 8 on top and a 10/12 below and hates it. when i complain about needing to lose weight her response is simple - "at least you can diet to change your shape, i can't" and that really makes me stop and think about what i'm saying.
  • verlieukverlieuk Posts: 1,328
    Hi ladies coming from me who is a size 18 and i love my boobs and bum and losing my tummy, i will never be as petite as you ladies but i think it is equally very rude to make comments to smaller frames as much as it is rude to make comments to ladies of larger proportions!

    Don't feel bad about your figures we are all women no matter what size and shape we are as long as you are happy stuff em!
  • even though im not slim mysef (size 12) ive always been aware that comments saying people are skinny are just as awful as saying someone is fat. we found my mums maternity card the other day and she was 6.5 stone after giving birth to my brother and she said it was always sop hurtful when people would point it out. people just dont think. she has aways empathised with posh spice beciause like my mum she lost loads of weight after giving birth. xxxx sorry if my comment was a bit random xxx
  • hey hey djkez - size 12 is slim!



    I'm half in the same position, I'm thin but tall (5'9 but size 8/10), fortunately have only had lovely bridal assistants in Leeds (one said i was dainty, quite liked that) the other shop also said all nice things (your shoulders are lovely, let's try not to cover them up etc) and I would happily order my dress from either shop! Insulting bridal assistants are just plain daft...what exactly do they gain by making you feel self-conscious?? x
  • lady_alicelady_alice Posts: 132
    I always have this problem, i'm 5,6 8 1/2 stone and eat non-stop yet never put on weight (thank goodness). I'm very slim and people always have to point that out.Don't let people upset you, they wouldn't say it if there were our size!

    x

    [Modified by: lady_a on March 26, 2008 08:53 PM]
  • omg im dreading trying on wedding dresses now. im 5 ft 1 and weigh less than 7 stone image. it does seem silly that they would make such rude comments as we are the ones providing them with money!! tut...i hate it when people think they can get away with saying your too skinny put on weight...we have feelings too ya know!!
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