Forum home Receptions

Fashionable vs. traditional

Hi everyone,

Just spoken to my parents about the wedding meal and it seems we have very different ideas.

H2b and I visited a caterer who really understood us and came up with a fab menu with: Soup for starters, 3 mini mains all on the same plate consisting of a chicken drumette, mini yorkshire pudding with beef & gravy and mini banger on mash, with a hot chocolate pudding for dessert. We love this as the food is simple but different.

However my parents (who are paying for everything) think this is a bit plain and pubby and they would be embarrassed to serve this. They would rather have a much more traditional, much fancier meal.

Should we compromise as they are paying? It seems they are more worried about what other people will think of them than what we would like.

What do you all think?


  • Hi hun, I think it sounds great and really unusual. I agree that it could be a "pubby" but it depends on the overall theme of the day, if you're having a more relaxed and informal day it would be great but if the wedding is really fancy-pants then the food should reflect that and maybe you'd be better off going a bit more formal.
  • louiseglasheenlouiseglasheen Posts: 1,643
    I think it sounds like a great menu and Id be really happy to get served that. I imagine the 3 mini mains to look quite smart and not pubby at all. Plus if a lot of your guests are a similar age thehy probably would too.

    Problem is the parents ... hmm. I know my mum did not understand at all why we had chosen chicken for the main meal and werent giving people a choice of meal. Finally after a lot of discussion (its a blooming chicken for goodness sake) she finally understood that we just could not afford to give people choice on the day and unfortunately as cliche as it is for a wedding meal, chicken was the easiest choice. Luckily she didn't go on too much as we are paying for it ourselves.

    Could you speak to your caterer and try and find an alternative somewhere in the middle of what you want and your parents want?
  • vparkinsvparkins Posts: 84
    If your parents are paying I think its nice to listen to their opinions, as obviously it is OUR day!!! but parents still feel that they are the hosts and the day reflects on them.

    [Modified by: vcp on April 29, 2007 06:03 PM]

  • claretweezeclaretweeze Posts: 1,613
    I'd rather serve meals that people will eat & enjoy, than something fancy that they won't!
  • leafyukleafyuk Posts: 2,182
    Oh dear, that old conundrum! When parents are paying, they see the day as being as much of a reflection upon them, which is understandable. If you can't persuade them round to your way of thinking, there is only one option: compromise! (Or pay for it all yourselves, like we are - it might be a pain having to save for it, but it sure is bliss getting to make all the decisions ourselves!)
  • ellybeeellybee Posts: 1,381
    What sort of thing are your parents suggesting? If it's something fab anyway maybe you won't mind so much if you change?

    Or could you combine ideas e.g. the funky mini portions but of more traditional "wedding" food, e.g. mini roast beef? Don't know if that could work, might be a best of both worlds solution if you can work it out.

    It does sound difficult to get over the "he who pays, says" thing so wishing you lots of luck and diplomatic skills!
  • FeeukFeeuk Posts: 413
    I think this is all about how you sell it to them. Firstly 'posh up' this meal for them... For example it's not "bangers and mash" it's "organic lincolnshire sausages on a bed of creamed cheese potatoes, garnished with chives"! Think M&S adverts! Secondly, talk to your caterer and ask them to make the dishes up for your parents to see. While your thinking chic London restaraunt your Mum's seeing Whetherspoons round the corner...once it's all on the plate in it's glory she might absolutely love it, it could just be that she can't picture it. I'd at least give that a try and if she genuinely hates it then try and find a compromise. x
  • BRIDE100BRIDE100 Posts: 884
    OH MY - it sounds so yummy!!! Can I come to your wedding?!

    Sorry, got distracted by thought of food, H2B isn't home yet and I am so hungry!

    It's a very hard one when your parents are paying. Mine aren't paying and they are being so intefering. Maybe tell them how many people on this site think it sounds fab and see if they come round to your thinking!!! Otherwise think it is a good idea to see if the caterer can make up some plates so they can have a look. Also, it depends on your overall wedding look - if it is quite glitzy then maybe it won't fit. Hard to comment on though as we can't see how it is served up.

    What are your parents suggesting?

  • loublouloublou Posts: 41
    Quick update.

    My parents went out with some friends last night and told them about the menu. They thought it sounded really nice so my parents have now changed their mind!

    I said I'd try to get a picture of the dish so they can see how it will be presented. I think the caterer will 'posh' it up and it should look great.

    Thanks for all your replies. It's nice to hear what other people think.
Sign In or Register to comment.