Do you have to have a "first dance"

I love a bit of a boogie but this is with friends on a night out, not in front of everyone, but H2B doesn't dance at all, is there a way of getting round the first dance as neither of us are keen - Any suggestions?image


  • loulou_bloulou_b Posts: 466
    Start it off as a first dance with just the two of you, then get your parents, bridesmaids/ushers etc... to join you after a verse or two. that should ease the pressure a bit!

    im nervous about the first dance too!
  • We are doing the same. Our bridesmaids/ushers/friends all know the part of the song when they have to join in, then we are just going to rock out! (don't do slow dancing)

    The other option is - don't have a first dance! It's your wedding so you can do what you want. We are taking out loads of the traditional aspects for our day image
  • Great advice from the other girls about getting everyone to join in with you. And I totally agree with 1950sglambride - if you dont want a first dance just dont have one! Same goes for anything to do with the wedding - I've been at weddings where they didnt do speeches as the groom/bestman hated public speaking. It makes sense - its your big day, the happiest day of your life so why do something that makes you feel uncomfortable if you dont need to?! image
  • spiritsukspiritsuk Posts: 48
    Hi Vix,

    I fully agree with what has been said so far. On the occasions where I've had a B&G that don't want a first dance or feel they're only doing it because "tradition" says they should it's been done as already mentioned. Maybe think about something a little upbeat along the lines of Andy Williams "Can't take my eyes off you" or similar.

    Hope that helpsimage
  • soozie1978soozie1978 Posts: 620
    Im too scared to have one so im going to tell the band to announce that everyone is to get up and dance together, that way we dont need to do one at all.
  • Vix76Vix76 Posts: 6
    choc4everyone couple - I am loving this idea - just get everyone up at the same time!!

    I have only just starting looking into all the planning and I have to say its completely mind blowing!! But fun at the same time.

    Thank you
  • sd84sd84 Posts: 3
    We're not having a first dance either - I couldn't think of anything worse and would be worrying about it all day! We're just going to play up-tempo music to start with and get friends to get up there first!
  • H2B doesnt want a first dance and quite often when we go out we request the macarena which gets everyone dancing so am probably going to get everyone up for the macarena!!
  • You absolutely don't have to do anything you don't want to... although I could see why people would be a bit disappointed. Instead of doing a traditional first dance, you can do the anniversary dance; where you get all the couples on the dance floor and then your DJ (or anyone really) can say- everyone who has been married for less than 1 day, please leave the dance floor. Then it goes up in increments (1 year, 5 years, 10, 15, etc. etc.) until you are left with 1 couple who has been married the longest dancing until the end of the song.

    It's very sweet and will be something everyone remembers about your wedding.
  • cath7673cath7673 Posts: 195
    my h2b isnt looking forward to the first dance so as we got quite a few kids coming we are going to start off with the slow music then after minute cut it, play a party dance like cha cha slide and all the kids run on and take over! (they will be prepped first!)
  • I was at my friends wedding a few weeks ago and they had prepped the DJ with a set of cheesy dance moves (think big fish, little fish etc) that he went through with all of us guests. We all then got up and raved away to Scooter! Brilliant!
  • mrsfoodie2bmrsfoodie2b Posts: 352
    Absolutely not.

    You can just get the band to introduce a collective first dance. Eg everyone on the dancefloor for the first song.

    I've seen this happen at a wedding before and it went down a treat!
  • dani7919dani7919 Posts: 213
    My friends had a first dance but also had a projecter screen and put pictures of them growing up side by side together. e.g. pictures of them both on their 1st birthdays, at Christmas, playing on a swing, etc up until when they met and present day.

    It was great as everyone was looking at the pictures - no one realised they weren't dancing.
  • MissM2mrsBMissM2mrsB Posts: 448
    I'm not keen on the anniversary dance, seems a bit exlusive to anyone who isn't already married. I think it's a good idea to do something though, otherwise people might not dance as they will be waiting for a 'first dance'.
  • SarahMor84SarahMor84 Posts: 1,493

    My H2b's brother did not have a first dance at their wedding, they had a last dance but that was impromptu. If you do not fancy having one then there is no need to.
  • I'm getting married in 2017 and don't want a first dance so what can I do instead 

  • We're not having one! I love to dance, but my other half really doesn't and his only request for the whole wedding is that he doesn't have to do anything that makes him feel uncomfortable, so it's scrapped!

    Can't see the point in following 'traditions' just for the sake of it. If you don't want it, don't do it!

  • I like to dance, but the H2B doesn't really dance at all, and when he does it is just drunk blokes bouncing around type dancing, so I am really nervous about the first dance. I plan to Do what other girls have mentioned, which is the song starts and we start dancing together, then other couples come on to the dance floor to join us. Not quite sure how to organise that though, might have the DJ say for all the other couples to join us after the first verse or two or just prior to the day mention  to people that we would like to them to join in after the first two versus. 

  • heliganedenheliganeden Posts: 1,848

    Just don't do it!

    There's no rule to say you have to, or that you have to do some kind of compromise on it! We didn't have a cake, nobody even noticed, ignore anyone who says you *have* to do anything on your wedding day - the only thing you *have* to do is have a ceremony and sign the register - the rest is up to you image 

  • I have the same problem - would love a first dance, but H2B is not confident and doesn't want to. We are either going to get practicing so he feels more comfortable, or not have one at all. If that's the case, I think I will get the DJ to start with an upbeat song to get people on the dance floor!


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