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Alternative to cake cutting - first task for bride and groom

My partner and I are non traditional and are looking to not do the "traditional" things at our wedding. Instead we are looking for fantastic unique alternatives - in particular - to cutting the cake.

We will be having a cake as my partners mother makes and decorates these - but we are having it for that reason only.

For our first role together we wanted to come away from cutting the cake as the symbolism means nothing to us. Does anyone have any fantastic ideas a first role together?

We had thought about releases but no animals are allowed at the venue.

[Modified by: lisa11 on 16 May 2007 20:30:05 ]


  • Leann051280Leann051280 Posts: 137
    what about unity candles?

    or not out of the ordinary enough?
  • LauraD79LauraD79 Posts: 238
    I think candles would be lovely ides.

    I know you said no to animals but how about butterflies? There's a company that provide butterflies in boxes that can be released (I hope I haven't dreamed this!!)
  • anlidaanlida Posts: 623

    I am me and my H2B are not cutting the wedding cake. So I am interested what people come up with as I wouldn't mind doind something different.


  • nataliedcrnataliedcr Posts: 1,759
    i've read that the butterflies that you release usually just fall to the floor and struggle there untill they die. apparently their wings are so delicate that if you touch them it damages them and stops them from flying properly. i think it was on here where one b2b said she went to a wedding where they released them and it the end the men had to stand on them to put them out of their misery as they just wriggled about on the floor.

    sorry to put a dampener on that one just wanted to warn you that it's not as pretty as it sounds. maybe releasing white doves or a few white balloons outside would be nice? or the candle thing sounds romantic. Natalie.x
  • wendygirlukwendygirluk Posts: 25
    It's true about the butterflies, please don't do it it's so cruel.:\(

    I'm not sure if the same can be said about doves. I'm thinking either they're wild doves which are held captive until their 'release' or (more likely) tame doves bred in captivity and which will die from hunger/hunted by predators shortly following their release.

    i think it would be better if we could try not to involve animals at all in our weddings at all .

    What about releasing balloons? That could look pretty spectacular?
  • LauraD79LauraD79 Posts: 238
    That's so sad about the butterflies, i only remembered something vaguely I had read in a mag - they never tell you the reality of it tho do they?! Balloons sound good too. How about 2 balloons with your names on? You could always attach your contact details and see how far they get?!!!!
  • anlidaanlida Posts: 623
    Oh Thats so sad about the butterflies. I definatly won't be doing that. I don't think I would involve animals anyway. The balloons sound like a really nice idea.


  • Hope this is not going to cast a dampner on your plans but you might want to consider the environmental impact of releasing balloons -- obviously they're non-biodegradable and can cause problems with wildlife etc when they land.

    Have you thought about releasing those paper lanterns instead (often known as sky lanterns)? I hear they can be really spectacular.

    Just do a search if you want to find out more as there have been loads of other posts about them. eg

  • sherylF2bsherylF2b Posts: 655
    Planting a tree??? Might not be your thing but I think it would be quite symbolic, something that will grow, as you will, during your marriage

    Love Sheryl xxx

    [Modified by: sherylF2b on May 17, 2007 10:04 AM]
  • VCookukVCookuk Posts: 163
    I was talking to one of the local venues last week and they mentioned one wedding they had done where instead of a cake cutting and receiving line they kind of combined the two, they had mini cupcakes or cookies and the guests came up to collect one from the bride or groom. It meant they got a chance to say a quick hello to all their guests but it didn't take too long either. You could always do something similar with favours too.
  • Thanks for the ideas.

    We will already be lighting candles during our civil ceremony as we have children so the focus is being a family and being united.

    We had discussed thai lanterns but our wedding is in summer so to make an impact we couldnt let them off until 11ish which we may still do as we were looking to give everyone one as a favor perhaps.

    Its a shame about the feedback with butterflies but our venue anyway will not allow animals of any sort.

    I love the idea about planting a tree but the venue could not allow this on our land.

    Does anyone have any more fantasic ideas?

    [Modified by: lisa11 on May 17, 2007 12:15 PM]

    [Modified by: lisa11 on May 17, 2007 12:16 PM]
  • leafyukleafyuk Posts: 2,182
    I went to a wedding where the bride and groom planted a tree the next day on her father's property. They both dug teh hole and then put the tree in etc. Was cool! Not sure it's the kind of thing you want to be doing in your wedding gown though, LOL!! How about opening a bottle of champagne or pouring a glass of champagne? Or releasing doves? xx
  • pretzukpretzuk Posts: 242
    i done a wedding not so long ago and it was a family tradition that the bride and groom had to break a plate each then tidy it up between them this was to symbolise that they where becoming one however u might have to do it outside but u get the idea
  • ElcelciusElcelcius Posts: 62
    How about mixing a cocktail together, you could then serve it to your guests?
  • SassySukSassySuk Posts: 1
    I will be doing the plate smashing and clearing up thing too - but the night before - its tradition in germany (and i'm half german) - the noise is supposed to keep evil spirits away and also show that the couple work together. on the actual wedding day, we'll be sawing a log in half, again symbolising our union - i'll need to find something that looks more like a twig if i don't want to be all sweaty!;\)
  • cath77ukcath77uk Posts: 260
    SassyS - you just made me laugh out loud (meant to be working, so not good). I would definitely have to have a twig. I've been to a wedding where the bride and groom planted a tree. It was really sweet and the bride did not end up too dirty!

    Lisa11 - if you can't plant a tree, what about planting little pots of seeds which could then double up as favours? It might take a while though??

    I can't stop thinking about those weddings where the butterflies died! The bride and groom must have been horrified!

  • thrilledfifthrilledfif Posts: 294

    from a compassionate angle - i really really hope you don't choose to subject butterflies to such a cruel fate. they are living things, not inanimate objects.

    please consider using something else instead that does not involve animal cruelty.

    what's the company who provides these anyone - I want to write to them!

    ditto re environmental impact of non-biodegradable balloons...

    hope you will consider these points.


    PS am not an eco-warrier, just put animals and their existence above human satisfaction.
  • Joanna72ukJoanna72uk Posts: 380
    ohhhh what you gonna do,,, i like the thought of doing something different too

  • laurabonner26laurabonner26 Posts: 243
    On the planting theme, you could plant a seed in a nice pot rather than a tree in the grounds, or a small bay tree or something again in a nice pot. You could also double this idea up and plant a couple and give them as gifts to parents or close relatives in the wedding party.
  • lakarakalakaraka Posts: 3,628
    I know one tradition that I really like ( I am not british so this may sound weird).. Maybe you could do it after the ceremony or on your way to the venue.. Well here it goes..The just married couple locks a padlock to the fence (or whatever), and together they throw a key into the river - that would symbolise the strenght and unbreakable bond bewtweent the two. Don't know if it helps at all but I think it's kinda sweet image

    What about making a coin together? I have heard about it but I have no details sorry.. They do a press of whatever you want and then as a symbol you take the hammer (or whatever it is) and hit it.. might be worth looking into..

  • silvercapesilvercape Posts: 245
    The dove release isn't so great either. Went to a very grand weddinng where they did this and when the poor birds were released from the dark box they were really disorientated and were crashing into all sorts of stuff. It upset me and quite a lot of the guests too.
  • lalapinkuklalapinkuk Posts: 725
    hey hun what about releasing balloons?h2b and myself are doing that as a surprise for our guest, as our venue has lots of rooms we'd allocate one filled with 100 white helium balloons and get all of our guest to release them outside so they float away, its like having doves without all the fuss :\) hope this helps x
  • silvercapesilvercape Posts: 245
    Think it's already been said (just dropping in quickly here)) but balloon releases are also not very environmentally friendly - when they land in trees or transported elsewhere they're going to look like bits of rubbish and you don;t want to harm the wildlife either getting caught in their strings, or the balloons themselves affecting wildlife in one way or another. Plus they're not exactly biodegradable. Even if they're made from plastics that SAY they're biodegradable, the rate of biodegredation is so slow (years), it's no real advantage. So sorry that this has taken the discussion away from the original post somewhat, but it is something to seriously consider. Hey look what we did to the wildlife, birds, butterflies etc as our first duty/task together!!! Apologies if any offence caused - not intended.image

    Will try and think of a duty/task to add to this discussion later on today! :\):\)
  • geez u guys, fkn stupid or what, releasing butterflies back to the wild? how the fuc is that animal abuse

  • natsxonatsxo Posts: 268

    I was going to release my grandads pigeons, he has a few white ones and the venue is only 32 miles from his friends loft, so just going to let them off and they will fly home, we have dropped them a lot further than that and are used to being raced. 

    I love the idea of the padlock I'm dying to do this when we go to europe. 

    we are getting married a stones throw from the sea, can anyone recommend anything we could do there whole having our ohotos done ? which is a bit iut of the norm, I too cannot stand the cake cutting thing and plan on not doing it at all ! xx

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