Anyone else not having favours or evening food..are we tight

Ladies, I just wondered if any of you were not having favours, we're already spending £10k for the reception venue and the wedding breakfast (inc drinks) and we're considering not having favours on the table. I'm a bit uncomfortable about it as I know it's traditional but yet when I think about previous weddings I've attended, I can't remember what the favours even were.



Also we're having a Ceilidh band in the evening and have decided that £500 for bacon sarnies is exorbitant and are thinking of not serving food in the evening.

Do you think this would be ok if we advise people on the invitations? Again at other weddings I've been to, the food in the evening has barely been touched. I don't want to be seen as tight but we have to set the limit on our budget somewhere.



Any advice would be appreciated as I'm having palpitations about it image



Cheers gals xx

Posts

  • Your not tight. You need to do what is right. We aren't having favours either as no one really bothers with them, and they're already getting food and drink. As for evening food I suppose it depends on the gap between day and evening as people may get hungry but be unable to get food. You'll make the right decision, and as I am learning, will never please everyone.
  • vparkinsvparkins Posts: 84
    I don't think it matters about favours, I am having pink organza bags with sugar almonds mainly just to add colour to the tables, but I am prepared that they will just be left by people. We are only having about 20 extra people for the evening so we didn't want to waste alot of money either by providing a massive buffet that won't be touched (our guests are having a 3 course meal). However, we went to a wedding last month and were surprised that we were actually quite peckish later in the evening. So now we are having a seletion of fresh breads and cheese's, pickles, olives etc and also a fresh fruit platter and our wedding cake cut up. I really think people need something to pick at, but I agree, soggy sandwiches cn seem like a waste of money!
  • sallysimpson1sallysimpson1 Posts: 1,491
    do you know, i only decided today to say no to wedding favours, I suddenly realsied that I was spending nearly £100 per person on the meal and drinks and that doesnt include the evening food and I was going to get lottery tickets for everyone, and today i suddenly thought NO! I do feel tight though so might give sugared almonds for the traditional touch! Isnt it silly feeling tight when we are spending thousands on our guests!
  • I think it depends on the food and the timing. If you guage it right, I can guarantee the food won't be left. Everyone loves a bacon sarnie - teh smell alone will make everyone want one ieven if they didn't think they were hungry. Plus, it's easy to eat, can be held in one hand and a drink in the other. Buffets, on the other hand, are a total waste of money. No one can be arsed with all that late at night - I would actually say the same about fruit trays....I went to a wedding at claridge's recently and they had a four course meal (including coffee and sweets) and then fruit later on together with the cake. People could not be bothered to faff around with a fork and a plate having a go at the fruit. They only people who touched them were women, but even then, the vast majority was wasted..............................................................................................My borother in law to be is a chef and has worked at loads of top hotels and he said you'd be sick if you saw how much buffet food and wedding cake is just thrown away at the end of the night........................................................................... But if you've got people who are having a bit of a drink (usually the men btw) you need to line their stomach with something a little later on, if only to stop them falling all over the place lol...............................................................there's nothing worse than leaving a wedding and then stopping at the chip shop on the way home because you're starving!........................................................................
  • Claire-skiClaire-ski Posts: 712

    Hello,





    Regarding favours, I don't think that it matters as I've often seen them left at weddings and have to say that I wouldn't really think anything of it if there were no favours at a wedding.



    Regarding food in the evening, I think that if your budget could stretch to it then it would be better to have something - even if it's just a few nibbles or dips etc. I've been to weddings as an evening guest, sometimes having travelled for 3 hours to get there, and there has been nothing in the evening and I've been starving. You could always have your wedding cake in the evening as that's fairly filling and at least something that people can pick at.



    If you do decide against food in the evening then maybe forwarning your evening guests would be a good idea.


  • BrummieVeeBrummieVee Posts: 1,651
    I went to a wedding recently, and they didnt have favours. I cant remember there being any at a few weddings I've been to over the years, and we wont be giving them out either (We cant agree on what they would be, and would rather put the money towards a better meal or flowers or something)

  • floosyukfloosyuk Posts: 630
    Last year a friend of mine made a donation to charity instead of having favours. She printed out a little note stating this and the charity and we rolled them up like scrolls , tied woth ribbon and placed them on everyones plate. It was lovely and we had great craic making them over a bottle of wine. It was cheap but effective. As for the no food thing - I went to one wedding last year (as an evening guest) that didn't have n evening buffet, we were gutted (had saved ourselves). I have to warn you - it was the talk of the whole evening!
  • charlie2306charlie2306 Posts: 10
    Hi, we like you have also decided against the favours option as we think that it is a waste of money. As has been previously pointed out we figured that we were spending a considerable amount of money ensuring that our guests had nice food and drink that to add an extra few hundred pounds for something that is usually no more than a bit of tat just wasn't what we wanted to do and would rather spend the money elsewhere.



    Dont think that your being tight , I honestly cannot remember you any of the favours I have had in recent years so it just goes to show how unimportant they are. Its easy to get caught up in the minor details which on the day really wont matter to any of your guests.



    As for evening food I must admit that when I am at an all day wedding I very rarely eat any of the evening buffet but personally I would have something as when the alcohol is flowing you do need something to soak it up.



    Dont stress over a few sugared almonds hun , the most important thing is having your friends and family with you to enjoy the day. That is after all what they will remember not whether or not they had a pretty little box when they sat down.

    x



  • Suzanne05ukSuzanne05uk Posts: 228
    I have been to many weddings that did not have favours and I don't think it's important and people don't remember them so I won't bother if money is an issue. However I have been to one evening do that had no food and I have never forgotten it. We travelled 35 miles to the evening do but couldn't get into the wedding as the day do was running over. We finally got in the room at 9:30pm and by now I was quite hungry but I was dissuaded to find there was no food. By the time we got home at 1am I was starving and had to make us all supper. You don't have to put a full buffet on but I do think you need to provide some food just a bacon buttie would do. I think it's rude to invite guests to your evening do and not provide some sort of food, but it up to you.
  • hayleysumnerhayleysumner Posts: 1,296
    Our wedding is quite late (meal won't be finished until 7pm and there's only about 30 extra evening guests) so we're having a chocolate fountain. It will be set up in the foyer where people will be moved to while the band sets up, so it'll be a nice after dinner treat and also something for the new guests to nibble. We get unlimited dipping items - donuts, profiteroles, fudge, turkish delight, fruit etc, and it will run all night, so people can have loads if they want. They'll also be able to eat the items without the chocolate if they want to, it's laid out a bit like a buffet. We weren't going to have anything else but then we decided to have bacon rolls served with tea, coffee and wedding cake at about 9.30pm to stop people getting too drunk. I'll probably be starving myself by that time anyway! If your venue is charging you a lot for bacon rolls, how about hot dogs? Tends to be cheaper as there's not as much work involved. They can just heat up a load of hot dogs in the oven, serve them in a big dish with tongs, and provide ready sliced buns etc for people to help themselves, rather than having to stand and fry tons of bacon! We're having cookies as our wedding favours, because we're having people's names iced onto them to act as place cards too! I don't think anyone is likely to leave them behind because they'll probably be eaten quickly. They come nicely wrapped in cellophane and ribbons are are done to match your colour scheme. The woman does lots of shapes, we're having hearts for the women and rugby balls for the men (H2B is a rugby player). They're £1.20 each and they're from Trish Clarke http://homepage.ntlworld.com/kevin.clarke957/novelty-cakes/pfwedd.htm.
  • jemmajemjemmajem Posts: 1,439
    We're not having favours either because of a really tight budget. We also may not have extra evening guests, but if we do the most we'll put out is some cheese and crackers. My h2b is a chef so we can get this organised pretty cheaply. But the hotel he works at does weddings and of the 5 he's done so far only one has had an evening buffet, and most of that wasn't eaten! I think at the end of the day it's your wedding and you should choose how you spend your money!
  • ScubahoneyScubahoney Posts: 81
    Thanks so much for the replies ladies. I feel much better about the absence of favours and agree with you all about having some nibblies for later on so will probably put the cake out and also have some crisps and dips and cheese and crackers..now to convince h2b that it's necessary image xx
  • louiseglasheenlouiseglasheen Posts: 1,643
    I went to a wedding last year that had no favours and it made absolutely no difference, no-one commented on it to my knowledge. What time do you think your meal will end and what time is your reception going on until? If its going on quite late I'd think you might need something if people have been drinking for a few hours they'll need something to soak it up.
  • pappworthpappworth Posts: 657
    We are not having an 'offical' buffet done by the caterers but will be putting out cheese and biscuits with some fruit and the wedding cake. Not having favours either..big waste of money there.
  • EMMIE101ukEMMIE101uk Posts: 220
    i am not doing favours either, not sure i would risk not going for food of some sort in the evening
  • BRIDE100BRIDE100 Posts: 884
    I don't think favours will make any difference but food definitely will. My sister went to a wedding with no evening food and it is now known as 'the wedding where they all went hungry'! Every wedding I have been to has had a buffet in the evening and pretty much everyone has eaten from it. In fact one wedding where they had decided to only cater for 70% of guests thinking not everyone would eat they actually ran out of food!
  • I'm not having favours either. I've never paid much attention to them at anyone else's wedding and I was determined not to get carried away with 101 extras that other people insist I "have" to have.



    I'm not having evening food, but we're not having seperate evening guests and will all be sitting down to a formal meal at 8pm (having late afternoon ceremony).



    At any wedding I've been to, the evening food has gone to waste completely. Any time I've been to an evening reception, I've had dinner beforehand and have had far too much fun dancing and talking to the happy couple to think about another mini-meal (who normally eats at that time of night on a normal day anyway?) I wouldn't think your day guests would have much room for more food either - any time I've been to a wedding I've been so stuffed after the meal that I can't look at anything else!



    My friend waited until her evening guests arrived to cut her cake and then served that to everyone with tea and coffee.
  • whit-walkerwhit-walker Posts: 108
    We weren't going to have food in the evening, but as a few people started to decline the all day invite, we freed up a bit of the budget and so could afford to pay for the food. We're having cheese and tomato toasties, potato wedges with paprika dip and bacon butties.
  • Joanna72ukJoanna72uk Posts: 380
    i think you need something for your evening guests as your day guests will have been spoilt with the meal and wine so its nice to have something for them to nibble, and in the grand scheme of things the whole thing is gonna cost a fortune so whats a bit more per head.... not doing traditonal favours we are having charity pins by marie curie and breat cancer research
  • sahara1666sahara1666 Posts: 118
    Glad you're going for some nibbles in the evening Scubahoney.



    Favours don't really matter (we are having them, but I wouldn't be upset if they had to be scrapped) - the evening food on the other hand can be soooo important! We were at a wedding last year were there was some food put on in the evening, but far too little, and, similarly to Bride100, lots of the guests still talk about the fact that we spent the evening starving - such a pity for a wedding to be remembered for something like that, after all the time, money and effort that went into planning it! In my opinion, for all the money it costs (compared to the meal, flowers etc) a few snacks in the evening are well worth it! image
  • louiseglasheenlouiseglasheen Posts: 1,643
    I've been thinking about it a bit more and I really do think you need to put something out for the evening guests (plus whoever wants anything from the day). You don't need to feed every single person but at least maybe half.
  • ms_catms_cat Posts: 760
    i agree with everything thats been said so far! we're not having favours- cant remember if there were any at any of the wedding ive been to, so they arent all that nowadays.

    we're getting wed at 3.30, and are having just the one reception. we'll get to the venue around 5.30- just in time for tea! Having a huge buffet, and then plan to leave cake cutting until 9ish when everyone may start feeling a bit peckish again. Dont feel the need to do 2 lots of food, cos all guests are invited for the whole thing-there'll be no separate evening guests. definitely would have something if there were going to be people only turning up in the evening tho- people do save themselves cos they expect there to be something there!!
  • SarahLukSarahLuk Posts: 48
    hi,

    I agree with the previous comments, favours aren't important but its good to have some sort of food in the evening. It won't necessarily need to be much, especially as you could save serving the wedding cake until then, which will make a small amount of food seem more, and will make evening guests feel part of the formal part of the wedding.

    We've saved money elsewhere, eg by using simpler arrangements of seasonal flowers.

    Sarah
  • soph_ssoph_s Posts: 123
    I am starting to think we should definitely just have the one reception. Just need to decide whether to do a sit down meal or a buffet!
  • I finalised all my reception arrangements yesterday so I'm feeling super efficient!!!

    We are not having favours but I might bake some heart shaped cookies to give to people!!

    Also our lovely reception man has offered to do bacon butties and brie and tomato butties in the evening for only £3 a head which I think is really great. To be honest the man at our venue has made all kind of concessions for our big day like giving us the meal at function prices instead of wedding prices cos we told him we are paying for it all ourselves and we don't have much money. So I'm feeling really happy!!! xx
  • ms_catms_cat Posts: 760
    sophs

    thats what we're doing- and having a buffet.

    ours is not a formal wedding, as we're not formal people, so we didnt want a formal reception.



    we just want everyone we care about to witness us getting married and then come and have some food and a few drinks with us to celebrate- nice and simple xx
  • soph_ssoph_s Posts: 123
    ms_cat



    Thanks! Ours isn't a formal day either so swaying towards the buffet....
  • MOONMAMMAukMOONMAMMAuk Posts: 387
    we arent doing favours - not in our budget, and also how many weddings do you remember for the favours you were given?!



    we ended up booking a later wedding so that we only have to serve one meal (evening - going for hog roast)



    kirsty
  • scottishbridescottishbride Posts: 2,023
    We are not having favours (unless you count the gift inside the cracker on the table!) and I don't think it is necessary at all. I do think evening food is important though. Remember that some people will have been drinking for a good few hours and food is always good to absorb some alcohol. And people will be hungry! Our meal begins at 4pm so people will be famished by around 8:30/9pm. We are just having soup, sandwiches and wedding cake.
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