should we have to pay for this?

just wondering if anyone had been in same situation. i have had a phone call from family meber attending our wedding in august to tell me that she may still be breastfeeding her baby (due in april) at our wedding in early september adn that because of this we need to p[ay for her to have a separate room available all day so she can breastfeed if she wants to. we are having a very small wedding and dont have a big budget. i have no way of doing this in the church (very small 11th century country church) we are having the reception at a hotel but guest is not staying over night. i have asked the hotel and we have been told to do this we would have to hire the smal function room at £150 for the day or pay for a bedroom for which would then need cleaning etc so we would have to py the over night rate of £120. do you think we should have to do this
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  • Absolutely not! I'm surprised anyone would come up with anything like that...
  • Errrr..... no.



    How does she manage during the every other day when there isn't a room available for her? Let her kid starve??? No, she doesn't.



    Kick her into touch - I've never heard anything so ridiculous in my life. If she feels that strongly, tell her to stay at home.
  • No!!!!!



    Tell her to get off her high horse and just find somewhere private! I'm sure she could feed her baby in the ladies toilet if she's that bothered, or else pay for the room herself.



    I would just tell her that this is not something that is provided but give her the contact number for the hotel and tell her she is welcome to phone and sort something out for herself!



    And it's only a possibility anyway...not even a definite! She sounds like a bit of a handful!
  • singo44singo44 Posts: 3,420
    Err no way!!!



    Sorry but that's not your problem!
  • thank-you everyone i was beginging to think i was being unfair by not wanting to pay for it. its not the first demand from this guest and i am getting a bit fed up with it
  • Wow now that is a request! I know your telling the truth but it's just so unreal! Doesn't she realise how mental she sounds?
  • Hahaha, I guess that's what pregnancy must do to you!
  • n_e_rosen_e_rose Posts: 1,562
    oh my god, are you serious. I'm sorry but if i had a little one, i would not demand that a private room is available to me all day.



    Anyway when i was working for a resturant, the policy was that if a woman wanted to breast feed then you as a company need to provide a private area, so your not the one that needs to sort this, she needs to sort this out her self!



    I'm going to have not even a month old at my wedding and the mum will definitely be breast feeding, she's not asked me for a room.



    Some guests really p*ss me off! image
  • She sounds llike someone I would not only ignore her request but also un-invite to my Wedding. Ridiculous!
  • I have breast fed all three of mine and I would have NEVER asked that - and I attended weddings with babies as young as ten days old!



    You can always find a quiet corner and discretly feed your child.



    Absolutely not your problem. And I wouldn't even mince my words telling her that.
  • she told me its the law that pregnant women are provided with somewhere private to feed their baby, not sure if this is true. she has also informed me her, her OH and her 6 children (other than baby) dont like our menu (roast dinner and cheesecake) and that the children at least need to be provided with something and chips so they dont go hungry and no one is allowed to drink around her children as she does not believe children should be exposed to alcohol. wish i could no invite her but she is a close relation of OH and it would be very obvious if i didnt
  • oh my god is she for real?



    Tell her there is a magical thing called a 'toilet cubicle'. You could even stick her a VIP sign on it.



    I would just ignore her silly demands. The worst thing that could happen is you don't comply and they don't come, which doesn't sound like too much of a shame.
  • lindsayulindsayu Posts: 1,939
    Didn't want to read and run but nothing constructive to say!! Cannot believe the cheek of some people!! I would use it as a convenient opportunity to say "I understand if you'd prefer not to come" and make out you're doing her a favour, whilst really you're just saving your sanity! What a moo!!!!!!!
  • Wow this thread gets better and better. What [email protected]!
  • NO!



    Tell her, if she wants a private room, she can pay for it, or use the ladies loo's like any other normal person
  • JoeyClareJoeyClare Posts: 2,737
    How ridiculously rude!! I'd tell her to jog on. Other ladies who breastfeed manage.
  • Carrie497Carrie497 Posts: 273
    Quoted:
    she told me its the law that pregnant women are provided with somewhere private to feed their baby, not sure if this is true. she has also informed me her, her OH and her 6 children (other than baby) dont like our menu (roast dinner and cheesecake) and that the children at least need to be provided with something and chips so they dont go hungry and no one is allowed to drink around her children as she does not believe children should be exposed to alcohol. wish i could no invite her but she is a close relation of OH and it would be very obvious if i didnt


    I think I would politely tell her to take her breast feeding query up with the hotel - they will know their obligations under the law. If she is so worried about her precious children, I'm surprised she is turning her nose up at a nourishing roast dinner in favour of chips!! I would also point out to her that you cannot guarantee that people won't drink around her children at a WEDDING and so you totally understand if she feels she cannot attend and expose them to this 'terrible' risk.



    Good grief, she needs a reality check!!
  • Wow! She is quite a woman isn't she?! The cheek of some people is unbelievable.



    Tell her to do one!!
  • pminxypminxy Posts: 320
    She sounds like a dream guest!! A roast is a perfectly balanced meal what the jeff is she on about!!! And totally no way would I even think for a second about paying for a breast feeding room, stupid cow (her not you!!!)

    xxx
  • RRrr2011RRrr2011 Posts: 1,262
    Hahaha - what a cow!



    We had guests at our wedding who were breastfeeding (including my sister/bridesmaid!) and not 1 person made this request for me. They either booked a room and stayed or sorted with other guests to borrow their rooms or found somewhere quiet and out of the way.



    As for meals, thats ridiculous!! I did give my guests with children a choice of having half of adult meal of the kiddies menu (at £5 for a kiddies meal i didn't mind!) but all said not to fuss over them and they would have half adult meal (and that included children from 2 years old!) I just asked for ice cream for them rather than the dessert we were having. NOBODY made demands of what we did and didn't provide them with.
  • She really needs to have a word with herself! If indeed it is the law that women must be provided with a separate room to breastfeed (which I doubt) then the onus is on the venue, not you to provide it. Besides which, most venues will have a baby changing room she could use and it is possible to breastfeed discretely.



    Unless she and her family have some kind of special dietary needs they should damn well shut up and eat what is put in front on them. And don't get me started on the alcohol thing! Everyone at your wedding has to stay sober so that her precious darlings aren't exposed to that nasty evil alcohol? That's one of the most ridiculous things I've ever heard.



    Sounds to me like either she is a complete spoiled brat with no thought for anyone other than herself and her kiddywinks or she doesn't want to come and is being unreasonable so that you will uninvite her, making her a martyr and you and H2B the 'bad guys' in the eyes of your families.



    Tell her to take her breastfeeding dilemma up with the hotel. If she doesn't like the food you're providing, give her a list of fast food places, she can order (and pay for) her own. And if those options don't appeal, she doesn't have to come
  • Boo81ukBoo81uk Posts: 254
    Please do not pay for a room. This is ridiculous! image I'm sorry if this offends anybody but its women like this who give breastfeeding women a bad name. If her baby will be 4 months old then she will be used to feeding him or her in public and will have mastered the knack of doing it discreetly.



    And as for the kids meail...don't even get me started!



    http://wedinlondon.com/
  • She makes our guests look like angels image



    I'm sorry, but after all you get free food and entertainment at a wedding how rude to come with demands!!



    We tried avoiding things like this by only asking for allergies or if someone was a veggy and we still got a few things along the lines of "Oh I dont eat..." then grow up and put it on the side of your plate!



    As for children I could go on and on but I loathe parents who raise their brood on chips and sausages. Mine eat whats on the plate and surely with a rost dinner there is something they like?



    Good luck - and sit them as far away from you as possible. Maybe in the restaurant around the corner image
  • JaneK2011JaneK2011 Posts: 516
    I think it might be recommended that businesses provide a seperate room or screened off area for their breastfeeding employees. It's not even law yet and certainly not required for brides to provide a hired room for breastfeeding guests. Say that you are unable to pay for guests rooms but she is welcome to make her own arrangments with the hotel.



    This is why I didn't tell guests what the food was as I knew that it could only result in some comments from those who weren't happy. Try to stay away from these conversations. Just say that you are really sorry but you can't provide different options for everyone but she's welcome to speak to the hotel herself, and that you completly understand her not wishing to stay at the evening party with her children. image
  • thanks everyone, i thought she was being a bit overdemanding wanting so much, i have had other guests make requests (elderly relative asked for parking spaces close by as they cant walk far and a couple of guests ask if they could have soft drinks for the meal and toast as they we driving home to get change before the evening reception. she of course has heard i have accomodated these requests and is wondering why i am "treating her differently", however i feel her requests are of a completly different nature.
  • jefnurjefnur Posts: 359
    I understand elderly relatives being limited with their mobility and needing to be accommodated a little but breastfeeding is not a disability!



    Her demands are ridiculous! I'm sure after how many kids she'll have breastfed in public a few times - what's wrong with a quiet corner and a blanket? Or I'm sure on the night someone will be staying who would let her use their room? Or she could express milk beforehand? Ultimately it's not your problem to find her a room all of her own. Tell her to be a big girl and make her own arrangements with the hotel and sort it out herself!



  • SheraleighdSheraleighd Posts: 1,336
    Oh for goodness sake what a ridiculous request!



    Tell the woman to invest in a pashmina or muslin blanket and to get over herself.



    Breastfeeding is the most natural thing in the world so she only has to take herself into a cosy corner and crack on with it!!!



    There is NO WAY that this should be at your expense.



    The lady has a severe case of baby brain going on! hee hee image



    xXx
  • SheraleighdSheraleighd Posts: 1,336
    Quoted:
    she told me its the law that pregnant women are provided with somewhere private to feed their baby, not sure if this is true. she has also informed me her, her OH and her 6 children (other than baby) dont like our menu (roast dinner and cheesecake) and that the children at least need to be provided with something and chips so they dont go hungry and no one is allowed to drink around her children as she does not believe children should be exposed to alcohol. wish i could no invite her but she is a close relation of OH and it would be very obvious if i didnt


    I think she needs uninviting meself! image



    xXx
  • Quoted:
    she told me its the law that pregnant women are provided with somewhere private to feed their baby, not sure if this is true. she has also informed me her, her OH and her 6 children (other than baby) dont like our menu (roast dinner and cheesecake) and that the children at least need to be provided with something and chips so they dont go hungry and no one is allowed to drink around her children as she does not believe children should be exposed to alcohol. wish i could no invite her but she is a close relation of OH and it would be very obvious if i didnt


    it isnt law hun - it is classed as a responsible and inclusive business plan for people to provide AREAS, not rooms for women to breastfeed if needed but even the hotel would not have to provide something.



    Tell her to get over herself and see that you are paying out alot of money for a wedding which she gets to enjoy and your giving her and her children a healthy dinner which i suspect they dont get alot.



    To be accomodating print off the list of the local chip shops and also say that she can take it up with the hotel in regards to what they can do for her if she needs to feed.

    At the end of the day there is always the option of expressing and using that instead but tbh it just sounds like shes trying to cause trouble.



    Dont let it stress you out too much and enjoy your day x
  • Snowy xSnowy x Posts: 1,100
    If she's that worried about feeding the baby, she could always express a few bottles to take with her, I breast fed twins whilst attending functions and its not really as big an issue as she obviously thinks it might be!
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