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top table

hi im getting married but at the wedding breakfast we are having the top table different as main family members sadly can not be with us. so have decided to do the top table as the people who have the main involment with our wedding ceremony so their will be me my husband my dad who is giving me away my two bridesmaid and grooms best man and grooms two ushers. the problem I have is my mother in law as I have recently found out that she does not want us to get married and has refused to help pay for bits. she has not made a big issue about it and there have been no arguments over it etc but im not sure if I really want her sat with us at the top table when we are celebrating the fact we have just got married. would like some advice as not sure if im just being selfish or i should feel like this thanks xxx

ps I no she does not have to pay for anything my partner has asked her if she would pay £20 towards the cake if not as she loves baking would she like to  make it and she has disagreed my partner pretty much feels the same as me we have been together for 8 years and have two children and she has never liked me



  • :D:D Posts: 1,805

    What does your OH think about her not being on the top table?

    I can understand that it wouldn't be very nice to have her around when she has a negative attitude. Could you position her so she is not facing you or a few spaces away so you don't need to have to communicate with her?

  • me and my other half have spoke about it and we made a choice to have her at the top table or another table next to her daughter and her husband we spoke to her and she said she was not bothered so we decided the top table but now i have found out all this im not very happy with her being with us at all i have thought about sitting her further down but i no she will have a face on her and will complain about everything and she has also stated she is making no effort to dress up and although this sounds incrediablly selfish but im also woried about the photgraphs of the top table xx

  • :D:D Posts: 1,805

    I would feel the same. If she said she "wasn't bothered" I would put her on a table nearby, but if you put her too far away she might cause further problems. If she is next to her daughter I think she will be fine.

    I think you have made your decision image

    She will only be in the formal photos you choose to have. There will be lots of your family and friends image and of course the two of you and your little family image

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