H2B lied to me about reception, am im being OTT?

Hi all, just a quick rant and a request for others opinions really.

H2b and i are getting married next year at a venue (h2b chose it as i didnt want to get married abroad). H2b always told me he loved that place coz he saw it when he went with a friend who was a DJ there one night. A while ago we had a bit of an argument about something or nothing and h2b and for some reason (i cant even remember) h2b told me that he had not seen it whilst with his mate but his ex and him went together there for her sisters wedding. As soon as he said it he said he was only messing and didnt mean it and that they had in fact got married at somewhere else. I thought all this a bit strange at the time but then you just forget about it dont you.

Anyway, i was sorting out our video camera and tapes etc yesterday to get a blank tape to video our new kittens and came across a tape with 'wedding' and the h2bs ex sisters name on it. So me being dum thought id check out this 'other venue' and see what its like as ive heard its very nice. I genuinely didnt do it to 'check' h2bs story as i believed him.

However, im sure you can guess that there h2b was all cosy with his ex in OUR wedding venue! Just cant believe he lied to me! why though?

Spoke to my friend and she said just leave it as he probably realised what he said when he said it and thought it would hurt me. But the lie has hurt more. Why not just b honest?

Couldnt hold back last night though and told h2b that had sorted all our holiday video tapes out and how 'i found some brilliant footage of our wedding venue' (sarcasm is the lowest form of wit i know..im stupid!-couldnt help myself!).

But what do you think? Am i just being stupid and reading way too much into this?



thanks for the rant though everyone. Always appreciate your views. xx

Posts

  • thinkpinkukthinkpinkuk Posts: 721
    I don't think you are being stupid. It was a stupid lie, but not really a deceitful one - as you say he just realised that it would hurt you. His lying has made it worse but I am sure he didn't mean it like that! Men are crap at this stuff and really have no brains at all...



    Do you still want the venue knowing what you know? I personally wouldn't want to get married there anymore - no justifiable reason, just the association with the ex would put me off.



    Hope you get it sorted x
  • emmalouisetemmalouiset Posts: 1,291
    He probably does genuinely love the venue but knew the truth might hurt your feelings and that's why he lied. I'm sure it's nothing more than that but I can understand why you feel the way you do though. Just think though, you'll have a whole tape of gorgeous footage of the two of you as husband and wife there. The ex will never have that. Try and stay cool and calm (easier said than done i know!) and focus on making yoru day special and personal to the two of you. People can't help having a past but you two will start your future there together. Big hugs to you in the meantime though. XXXX Emmy
  • blondie80ukblondie80uk Posts: 496 New bride
    thanks girls, knew you would make me feel better! The ex thing has put me off a bit but deposit has been paid already. the room has just been done up so it might not be that bad?its just the lie thats really got me, you start asking yourself what else has he lied about?

    thanks again
  • Bethtub81Bethtub81 Posts: 69
    Hi Blondie80,



    You poor thing! I'd have reacted exactly the same -I think a lot of brides would- but as an outsider looking in I really think you have nothing to worry about. I think your friend hit the nail on the head. Your h2b said what he did about having gone to the reception venue with his ex because you were both arguing and he wanted to say something spiteful -we all do it when we are mid flow in a fight- but then I think he probably wished he hadn't said it cos he knew how much upset it'd cause and so made up a white lie to try and skim over what he'd said. The fact that he lied about the having seen the venue with a friend when really he had seen it with an ex at her sisters wedding (long ago no doubt) suggests to me that he really likes the venue and he wants you to share the best day of your lives together at this venue. Telling you from the start that he found the place whilst with an ex wouldve ruined that and he probably anticipated how you might feel if he suggested a venue that he'd been to with an ex (only like I've said, he opened his big mouth in the heat of an arguement and spoilt it!). Forget the fact that he lied- everything he has lied about was a white lie cos he just wanted to have the best day at the best venue without you knowing how he'd found out about it. And anyway, does it matter that he saw it with an ex? that was in the past -it's you he's marrying and wants to spend forever with. Forgive and make up hun and forget about it all -it's not worth falling out about. Concentrate on it being YOUR venue and the reasons WHY he chose it -it sure as hell wasn't cos he wants to spend his wedding day thinking about his ex -that's precisely what he was trying to avoid you thinking by 'lying' to you- but cos he thinks it's a magical place having seen how well someone elses wedding worked there.



    Sorry if this is really rambly -just trying to emphasise that you don't need to worry, but be happy cos it's all ok.
  • blondie80ukblondie80uk Posts: 496 New bride
    thanks bethtub! its not rambly! all makes sense!, its so wierd when ppl on here have these small worries but theres always ppl who understand! Ive not fallen out with h2b, as when i mentioned it he just stayed very quite and we carried on as normal. But after all the advise i think its something i'll just leave alone and let it pass. Like everyone has said the lies werent nasty lies just a small white one. Which i guess ive done in the past!

    I love this site, helps so much with everything!

    What happens once you get married? where do i go then!!! i cant imagine not planning anything and not worrying about things anymore!! See, something else to worry about now!
  • nicola27uknicola27uk Posts: 2,325
    Gosh i would be furious but i am super sensitive and would probably rant that i am not getting married there no matter what.............I can understand that he may have been to a wedding there before and thought to himself that he would like to get married there but he should have been honest with you surely someone could have mentioned it on the day then how would you feel.



    If there is one thing i can't stand thats lies



    Take no notice of me though like i said i am sensitive so wouldn't have liked that. I am the girl who got a strop (nearly said strap lol) on cos h2b said he though charley in bb had nice legs thats another story i won't get into it lol

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