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Children at the wedding?

I really really do not want there to be too many children at my wedding. 

My partner has 5 nieces/nephews aged 4-10 that obviously need to be invited, but they are all very well behaved so that's not a problem.

My friends have openly said that they do not want to bring their children because they are looking forward to a child-free evening where they can let their hair down! 

The tricky part is when it comes to my cousins' children. I have lots of cousins. And they all have lots of children. Some of whom I have never even met and whose names I do not know. On my guest list they are literally "child 1, child 2". I'm not even sure how many are boys or girls. My parents say I HAVE to invite the children as all of my cousins are coming from various corners of the UK and can't leave their children overnight with a babysitter (um, how about the other set of parents that aren't my aunt and uncle?). They aren't adding a huge amount to the cost so that's not the issue. 

Do I just suck it up and invite them all? I can't very well say it will be a child-free wedding when my partner's nieces and nephews are running around. But I kinda want to be selfish seeing as it's my wedding and I never envisioned it with lots of kids running around and screaming. 

Any advice gratefully received! 

Grace x

Posts

  • Mara7Mara7 Posts: 22

    Hi,

    For our wedding we are just inviting children of 'immediate family' or thats how were wording it in the invites. That will be my nephew, the three children of my partners cousin  (they're more like our niece and nephews) and a child of a family friend as they're travelling very far to be with us.

    Remember it's your day, when I've told friends most of them are excited for the break :)

  • Lexi90Lexi90 Posts: 971

    Personally I think it's your day and you shouldn't have to justify who you are or aren't inviting. I know this is easier said than done when it comes to wedding guests as I feel the same way as you. 

    I don't think you need to explain which children you have invited, maybe just say limited children to immediate family. Lots of children bulk out the guest list and if you don't really know them they aren't going to enhance your day! 

  • Jenni8Jenni8 Posts: 3,201

    If you aren't close enough to your cousins to know if their children are boys or girls, perhaps you might want to consider whether they should get an invite at all? Just a thought.

    If this is not an option due to wanting to please your parents etc then I would do as suggested above and state children limited to immediate family. I am sure they will be the same as your friends and be happy for the night off. And if they aren't happy to do that then you are better off without them there anyway.

  • bella2015bella2015 Posts: 1,903 New bride

    We only invited the ones that we knew personally. Otherwise we would have had a ridiculous amount of guests. You need to draw the line somewhere.

  • Loulou354Loulou354 Posts: 6

    We have also only invited immediate family or children of bridal party as both of my bridesmaids have little ones - other it would've been ridiculous

  • B23B23 Posts: 169

    We didn't want kids at all so only invited immediate family (niece and nephew) invite who you want, don't be forced into having someone's kids there if you don't want them. Do prepare yourself for people being a bit weird about it. For some reason a lot of parents take it as an attack on their kids, not everyone has to adore them as much as their parents! i had a child related problem and yyyw posted it on the Facebook page and the number of people responding With 'ha well I wouldn't go!! The cheek of it!!!' 

     

    Stick to to your guns and don't be manipulated into doing something you don't want. The number of weddings Iv been to and strained to hear the how's over the crackle of rice cake wrappers and screeching.

     

    x

  • Clairey90Clairey90 Posts: 31

    We're only having 'immediate family' children (5 kids in total - more than I'd like!) and I may include a polite note with their invite basically telling them to keep their children under control! 

  • Sarah398Sarah398 Posts: 266

    I'm with you all the way on this one!

    We wanted a child free day, but have bent a little for some on this, still have not ended up with too many though.

    People forget that it costs a lot of money per person for every single person you invite, depending on your venue etc it can cost up to £200 pp (if not more) once you have paid for their dinner then thier evening cost per head etc.

    Perhaps if you said to your mum, that you could invite them, but it would cost £blah blah!  Perhaps spelling out the reality to her might make her come to her senses.  I did this with my mum who was saying I should invite my cousins children as it is easier than causing upset, I said something like, "mum to invite those 2 children will cost me an extra £250 pp! (probably exaggerated), which is alot of money to pay for some kids who wouldnt know me if they walked past me in the street & for kids who probably dont want to be at a boring wedding, pouting over thier 3 course meal"

    Didnt hear anymore about the matter.

    Good luck xx

  • Sarah704Sarah704 Posts: 4

    I'm in the same boat. My mum wants cousins children, we don't and can't afford it. You'll have all your guests going to bed with their children at 9. 

  • Charlotte237Charlotte237 Posts: 274 New bride

    Same - after going back and forth or ages, we've decided on no children whatsoever. Neither of us know any of them anyway (cousin's children). Luckily both are sets of parents fully support us; I think my dad doesn't want children there even more than me!! 

  • MrsM3MrsM3 Posts: 138

    I have only invited children of the immediate family. X

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