Seated dinner, choice or no choice? - Need your vote and opinion please

QueenDQueenD Posts: 325 New bride

Hi ladies, I need some feedback please.

We are definitely having a seated plated dinner but originally we wanted to choose 1 meal that will be served for everyone (apart of course from allergies, and dietary requirements etc).

I myself have been to weddings like this and didn't mind. I also don't mind the buffet weddings I have been to because there is more choice but I hate the queuing in heels juggling with the plate etc. 

Now our caterer suggested that maybe people would appreciate a bit more flexibility and choice than 1 same meal for everyone, and since this wouldn't affect the price so much, we are considering it.

 

So I would need your opinions and votes please.

 

When invited to a wedding do you, :

 

A. like choosing what you will eat from a menu given on the day with maybe 2-3 options

B. are happy to eat whatever you are served without any choice

C. don't like any of the above (please elaborate if you can)

 

As always a massive thank you in advance ladies (any maybe men) xx

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Posts

  • wed172Bwed172B Posts: 1,258

    I would think asking people to choose on the day will be difficult (depending on your numbers), it means waiters going round repeating menu choices etc and then a delay in cooking and serving times.

    If you are going to do a choice i would ask people to confirm before hand, I would say most weddings i've been to there has been no choice and i've been fine with that but if it doesn't affect the cost much and you can affords it it can be nice to offer a choice.

  • Jenni8Jenni8 Posts: 3,201

    As a guest I am happy either way as it is a free meal after all so wouldn't be fussy, plus I am easy with food and like most things. 

    As a fellow bride, I opted for an opted for a choice menu. Mostly because we wanted venison and realise that some people, even those who are generally flexible with food, won't eat venison. So we also chose a chicken option. As it happens, we have a majority chosen venison but I am sure those that chose chicken are thankful for the choice. 

    My point is that I think it depends on what you choose and if you think it appeals to the masses. A choice menu can slow service and many venues are hesitant to allow it but I knew I would be super organised providing a detailed menu choice "map" and also writing them on placenames to ensure no mistakes. 

  • I know a website to make free survey, if you want, I can make a poll and see the pourcentage of what people think! 

    But personaly, I prefer having the choice!

  • Jenni8Jenni8 Posts: 3,201

    Oh didn't see you said choose on the day, as a guest I wouldn't mind but I don't think it is a good idea as the service will be really slow. 

  • MrsJamesMrsJames Posts: 405 New bride

    We sent out menus with our invitations and asked people to send their choices back with their RSVP. We have a couple of fussy eaters and this allowed us time to arrange an alternative choice for them if/when they didn't like anything on the menu.

    We'll be putting their choices on the inside of their name cards as a reminder for them on the day, however our venue have also said that they will make a few extra of each meal incase people change their mind on the day. 

    I think if you are going to give options it does need to be done in advance to make things easier. 

  • MrsNolanMrsNolan Posts: 683 New bride

    If you're offering choice definitely do it with RSVPs rather then on the day so the kitchen knows how many covers of each they need 

  • Mimi8Mimi8 Posts: 314 New bride

    I have been to wedding with one set meal which was fine , we had a choice of 3 meals for my daughter's wedding and she had to collate and send in the numbers a few weeks before , it was difficult to get people to RSVP in time but it was nice to choose .

    i agree with a previous post, happy to do any way the couple choose , including buffet .

  • QueenDQueenD Posts: 325 New bride

    Wow thank you so much ladies, you guys are fantastic as always 

    I am responding to each of you

  • MrsJ2017MrsJ2017 Posts: 3,017

    B for me, as long as Im fed Im really not bothered. Id like to know what Im having in advance so if its not something I like I can either make sure I eat beforehand, or else select the vegetarian option. I almost always like anything though except fish or pork, and Ive not been to a wedding where these were served at the meal.

    I did go to one where there was a choice, and I was really pleased to be able to order a gorgeous spicy chilli con carne instead of the usual overcooked roast that all the other weddings had! But as I said, Ill eat the food Im given wihout complaint.

  • Rach371Rach371 Posts: 1,119 New bride

    I would say i Don't really mind what i'm given, so B. However I normally go with the vegetarian option and get lumbered with butternut squash in some form which I absolutely can't stand but at a wedding I eat it because I know how expensive weddings are. 

    I think you should consider how many guests you have; it's a fairly small reception then a choice might be a lovely idea, however if you have a larger guest list then maybe think about how long it'll take for everyone to choose and order. 

  • QueenDQueenD Posts: 325 New bride
    wed172B wrote (see post):

    I would think asking people to choose on the day will be difficult (depending on your numbers), it means waiters going round repeating menu choices etc and then a delay in cooking and serving times.

    If you are going to do a choice i would ask people to confirm before hand, I would say most weddings i've been to there has been no choice and i've been fine with that but if it doesn't affect the cost much and you can affords it it can be nice to offer a choice.

    According to our caterer it works well even choosing on the day, we will place 1 menu on each plate with a choice of meat or fish with 2 sides maybe, people will tick what they want and waiters will collect and send the completed menus to the kitchen where all the food will be all freshly cooked ready to be served.

    In theory, it all seems wonderful, not sure how it really happens in real life..

    The thing with asking before hand is I know my African people I will struggle to get them to rsvp so menu choice before the big day, I doubt I will get any returns - but it's worth a try

    Thank you xx 

  • QueenDQueenD Posts: 325 New bride
    Jenni8 wrote (see post):

    As a guest I am happy either way as it is a free meal after all so wouldn't be fussy, plus I am easy with food and like most things. 

    As a fellow bride, I opted for an opted for a choice menu. Mostly because we wanted venison and realise that some people, even those who are generally flexible with food, won't eat venison. So we also chose a chicken option. As it happens, we have a majority chosen venison but I am sure those that chose chicken are thankful for the choice. 

    My point is that I think it depends on what you choose and if you think it appeals to the masses. A choice menu can slow service and many venues are hesitant to allow it but I knew I would be super organised providing a detailed menu choice "map" and also writing them on placenames to ensure no mistakes. 

    I like that you give your opinion both as a guest and as a bride, thank you.

    Its difficult isn't it, not to assume for everyone and try to please everyone but also to do whatever makes us happy as brides..

    The choices on the menu will be quite popular and I know most people will be happy with everything there, which then scares me that they might tick all the choices, then what do we do? 

    And in theory according to our caterer if its well organised (which it will be), it works fine and quickly.. I am yet to see it in real life though

  • QueenDQueenD Posts: 325 New bride
    GabrielleWeddingPlanner wrote (see post):

    I know a website to make free survey, if you want, I can make a poll and see the pourcentage of what people think! 

    But personaly, I prefer having the choice!

    Oh yes please, I knew about online surveys but didn't know there were free ones. Can you share the name of the website please? might be useful later.

    Also I noticed that you are a fellow French speaking wedding planner - I am also French speaking (born in Ivory Coast, grew up in Lille) and starting my wedding planning business specialised in African weddings. Had a look at your website, looks great 

  • QueenDQueenD Posts: 325 New bride
    MrsJ2b17 wrote (see post):

    We sent out menus with our invitations and asked people to send their choices back with their RSVP. We have a couple of fussy eaters and this allowed us time to arrange an alternative choice for them if/when they didn't like anything on the menu.

    We'll be putting their choices on the inside of their name cards as a reminder for them on the day, however our venue have also said that they will make a few extra of each meal incase people change their mind on the day. 

    I think if you are going to give options it does need to be done in advance to make things easier. 

    Yes definitely agree that asking for the choices before the big day would be better, but I doubt that I would get responses from my African guests, and then I'm a bit stuck and would still have to get them to choose on the day. 

    I can definitely give it a go though, I might be surprised and get all the rsvp with menu choice, that would be perfect!

  • QueenDQueenD Posts: 325 New bride
    MrsNolan2017 wrote (see post):

    If you're offering choice definitely do it with RSVPs rather then on the day so the kitchen knows how many covers of each they need 

    Yes true, definitely before hand would make things easier, but I already know getting all the rsvp will be a struggle so not sure about menu choice as well, BUT according to our caterer even choosing on the day works well when its organised well, which will be the case

    Thats what she did for a previous wedding, our one will have waaaay less choice but thats the idea:

    https://www.instagram.com/p/BSvlIfOh6tL/?taken-by=tastehaven

    https://www.instagram.com/p/BSvk2URBv8w/?taken-by=tastehaven 

  • QueenDQueenD Posts: 325 New bride
    Mimi8 wrote (see post):

    I have been to wedding with one set meal which was fine , we had a choice of 3 meals for my daughter's wedding and she had to collate and send in the numbers a few weeks before , it was difficult to get people to RSVP in time but it was nice to choose .

    i agree with a previous post, happy to do any way the couple choose , including buffet .

    Thank you, it's great to hear feedback from both options and as you said hopefully people will be pleased with whatever we decide to do.. 

  • QueenDQueenD Posts: 325 New bride
    MrsJ2017 wrote (see post):

    B for me, as long as Im fed Im really not bothered. Id like to know what Im having in advance so if its not something I like I can either make sure I eat beforehand, or else select the vegetarian option. I almost always like anything though except fish or pork, and Ive not been to a wedding where these were served at the meal.

    I did go to one where there was a choice, and I was really pleased to be able to order a gorgeous spicy chilli con carne instead of the usual overcooked roast that all the other weddings had! But as I said, Ill eat the food Im given wihout complaint.

    Thank you for your feedback, I think I am like you : not too fussy but also like a choice if I'm given one..

    Hopefully our guests will be happy with whatever we choose, thank you xx

  • QueenDQueenD Posts: 325 New bride
    Rachel371 wrote (see post):

    I would say i Don't really mind what i'm given, so B. However I normally go with the vegetarian option and get lumbered with butternut squash in some form which I absolutely can't stand but at a wedding I eat it because I know how expensive weddings are. 

    I think you should consider how many guests you have; it's a fairly small reception then a choice might be a lovely idea, however if you have a larger guest list then maybe think about how long it'll take for everyone to choose and order. 

    Aaww thats very kind of you to eat even what you don't like at weddings, that's very considerate for the couple!

    We have 150 guests which is small for African weddings.. but still is quite a lot of people and organisation is the key. I am a perfectionist/ocd/attention to details obsessed so really want it all to go smoothly and perfectly so you are right definitely need to consider numbers, thank you x

  • PinguinPinguin Posts: 141

    I prefer to choose, I have allergies and this has been forgotton or overlooked at 90% of the 'eat whatever your served' weddings ive been too which means I cant eat and hungry guests = miserable guests

  • QueenDQueenD Posts: 325 New bride
    Pinguin wrote (see post):

    I prefer to choose, I have allergies and this has been forgotton or overlooked at 90% of the 'eat whatever your served' weddings ive been too which means I cant eat and hungry guests = miserable guests

    Aaw sorry about that. I wouldnt want any one of my guests to be starving especially as I myself like my food so wouldn't be impressed. Ok thanks for your feedback, appreciate it x

  • Kelly241Kelly241 Posts: 392 New bride
    QueenD wrote (see post):

    Hi ladies, I need some feedback please.

    We are definitely having a seated plated dinner but originally we wanted to choose 1 meal that will be served for everyone (apart of course from allergies, and dietary requirements etc).

    I myself have been to weddings like this and didn't mind. I also don't mind the buffet weddings I have been to because there is more choice but I hate the queuing in heels juggling with the plate etc. 

    Now our caterer suggested that maybe people would appreciate a bit more flexibility and choice than 1 same meal for everyone, and since this wouldn't affect the price so much, we are considering it.

     

    So I would need your opinions and votes please.

     

    When invited to a wedding do you, :

     

    A. like choosing what you will eat from a menu given on the day with maybe 2-3 options

    B. are happy to eat whatever you are served without any choice

    C. don't like any of the above (please elaborate if you can)

     

    As always a massive thank you in advance ladies (any maybe men) xx

     

    Hi,

    I don't think I've ever been to a wedding whereby at a sit down breakfast we were given (prior) the option of what we wanted to eat, I prefer sit down to buffet personally.

    For our wedding in December, we have given out guests the option of two different choices per course, 2 starter, main & dessert.

    But in doing so, I didn't think about then having to do menus' for the day to remind people what they're eating etc, so now just looking into that.

    x

     

  • QueenDQueenD Posts: 325 New bride

    Hi Kel, thanks for your feedback.

    Yes I think, whether people can choose or not, menu for the day is a nice touch... and to reduce costs you can do 1 per table instead of 1 per person.

    Its also a nice and easy decor item to show off your wedding theme 

  • MrsR17MrsR17 Posts: 95 New bride

    We have a choice on our menu which I am going to give but the past few weddings we have been at its been a get what your are given which luckily was fine every time, usually Turkey or Chicken.

    Our issue that we have a £3.50 supplement per person if we choose the beef or lamb option which we both perffered.

    So left us with a few different chicken, pork, and veggie options all of which sounds yummy anyway. We chose to be cheap and chose a chicken and a pork option (and veggies will get if we have any as well) and spend the extra on extra wine instead :) 

     

  • SammykateSammykate Posts: 3,846 New bride

    If your caterer thinks 'choose on the day' would work and has done it before, then maybe go with that? Just curious, as you mention African guests, will you be serving African food? I'm just wondering if that's easier to cook on the day as I've never heard of guests being able to choose on the day before. Most wedding venues would have a fit if you asked to do that! They normally require choices a minimum of 2 weeks out, so they can buy and prepare the correct food.

    We haven't given our guests a choice as this wasn't an option at our venue. However we have been very careful to ensure all special diets are catered for, as half my family are veggie and I know that even a common dietary requirement like that is often overlooked at weddings! My mum has been served 3 course meals she can't touch before at weddings- like they serve fish and tell her it's veggie. Or panna cotta for dessert which has gelatin in. I've also let those I know have a preferance choose the veggie option instead of the meat, if I know they won't like what we have chosen for the meat.

  • lauren318lauren318 Posts: 482

    Hello

     

    We have picked three options and provisionally ordered so many of each, when i send out the invites i will ask people what they want to eat so i can confirm numbers.

     

    we are also having an evening buffet.

     

    i don' think people mind what they eat in all honesty x

  • QueenDQueenD Posts: 325 New bride

    £3.50 supplement per person, that is not cheap.. It's difficult isn't it, trying to cater for everyone? 

    But hopefully we will get it right  or actually we will do whatever makes us happy hehehe because at the end of the day it is OUR day

  • wed172Bwed172B Posts: 1,258
    Pinguin wrote (see post):

    I prefer to choose, I have allergies and this has been forgotton or overlooked at 90% of the 'eat whatever your served' weddings ive been too which means I cant eat and hungry guests = miserable guests

    That's terrible, i would be mortified as a bride if my guest couldn't eat. I have asked for any dietary requirements on invites (left it open rather than a tick if your a veggie for this exact reason) and would be straight in the kitchen if something i requested was not provided!!

  • gill17gill17 Posts: 568 New bride

    We selected 3 meat options and asked for choices in advance. We had to chase a few via email but it was a small wedding so easy enough. My sister was the only vegetarian so she chose her own. In the end my SIL and MIL also had the veggie dish, for some reason as they both like chicken and pork! 

    I've been unable to eat one size fits all meals sometimes as there are lots of meats i don't eat, like once the meal was pork belly, once it was steak, and once it had prawns in it. I used to be a vegetarian, I'm not just really picky! 

  • Rach371Rach371 Posts: 1,119 New bride
    QueenD wrote (see post):
    Rachel371 wrote (see post):

    I would say i Don't really mind what i'm given, so B. However I normally go with the vegetarian option and get lumbered with butternut squash in some form which I absolutely can't stand but at a wedding I eat it because I know how expensive weddings are. 

    I think you should consider how many guests you have; it's a fairly small reception then a choice might be a lovely idea, however if you have a larger guest list then maybe think about how long it'll take for everyone to choose and order. 

    Aaww thats very kind of you to eat even what you don't like at weddings, that's very considerate for the couple!

    We have 150 guests which is small for African weddings.. but still is quite a lot of people and organisation is the key. I am a perfectionist/ocd/attention to details obsessed so really want it all to go smoothly and perfectly so you are right definitely need to consider numbers, thank you x

    My mum always told me to eat was I was given, haha!

    Small?! My guest list is half that and I feel like I have a lot! I think giving your guests a choice is a lovely idea and if your caterer thinks they can do it then definitely go for it!x

  • MrsRendall2BMrsRendall2B Posts: 749 New bride

    Personally, as someone who has been known to be quite a picky/fussy eater, I'd much prefer a choice! Not so much for starters/dessert but definitely for main course.

    But I agree with the other ladies, where there's a choice from a menu, it's best to send out the menu with your invites and get people to make their meal choices with their RSVP. That way it speeds things up a bit on the day! Or failing that, if you're having a wedding website, some offer a menu choice service - your guests go to the website and make their choices then you can print out a spreadsheet of who is having what and you can hand this straight to your caterers. 

    And make sure you get menus printed or what people ordered printed on the back of their place setting so you don't end up with any 'Oh, actually I can't remember what I ordered so I'll have X' when really they ordered Y or Z. :)

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