Top Table Bereavement

Hi all,
I know this is a personal choice but wondering if anyone has any inventive solutions/ideas we haven't though of yet.

We lost my OH's mum very suddenly almost 2 years ago. Now we are getting married we're obviously thinking about the top table.
OH is worried the table will look unbalanced (we are thinking of having MoH, my mum and dad, us, his dad and best man). He suggested leaving a space for his mum, which we agreed would look strange and more obvious.
Other suggestions have been his sister in that seat (we have concerns though as his nephew is only going to be 3, will be the only child at the wedding and we're just not keen on him sitting up there), meaning he would have to be looked after by his cousin/mums best friend.
His cousin/mums bf has suggested herself that she sits with his dad, which I'm not too sure of.
Further complicating is his dad new girlfriend, who we are yet to me and don't want at the top table anyway (not intending to sound harsh!)

So.... anyone got any bright ideas? x


  • MrsRendall2BMrsRendall2B Posts: 749 New bride
    Here's a few ideas:

    1. You & H2B, your mum & dad, MOH & best man, his dad & sister and have someone else look after the nephew. It's not like his sister couldn't get up and see to the child if he really wants her.

    2. 'Sweetheart table' of just you and H2B.

    3. You & H2B, your mum & dad, his dad and best man (as long as you explain to MOH that best man is there to even up the number).

    4. You & H2B, your mum & dad, his dad and an empty chair at the end. I feel like it's not as strange if it's on the end and you could always have a bunch of flowers on the table, a picture or one of those 'Because someone we love is in heaven, there's a little bit of heaven at our wedding' things. 
  • Samantha265Samantha265 Posts: 470 New bride
    I find it very cold that you're worried about a table being unbalanced tbh. I lost my father years ago and that 'problem' never even entered my head for our wedding. 
    If you have a circular table then an absence is less obvious.
  • MrsCToBeeMrsCToBee Posts: 2,949 New bride
    edited June 2019
    You don't need to sit anyone next to your dad just for the sake of symmetry. No one at the wedding will notice or care. If you are that worried, ask dad  who he would like to sit next to.
  • OmRumOmRum Posts: 900 New bride
    Yes I would say let your dad decide. Personally I would find it odd leaving an empty chair, and would probably make it more difficult for the dad. There's nicer ways to remember the mum, if your fiance wants to. 
  • Thanks for the helpful comments.
    Just to clarify, we haven't suggested there was a problem, or that we were looking for a symmetrical table. We were just interested if anyone had ideas we hadn't thought of.
  • Samantha265Samantha265 Posts: 470 New bride
    You said there was a worry about the table looking unbalanced.
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