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Who ISN'T having a first dance...and why?

Hi Ladies,

My fiance is dead against having a first dance at our wedding and has said that if anyone asks why we're not he's going to "kick off". I've told him that people will naturally ask as it's considered a traditional part of a wedding day and that it'd be more hassle not having one than just getting on with it.

I'd really love to have one together-it means a lot to me (we've never really danced together) and have said he can choose the song and we'll only dance on our own for the 1st verse and then get the bridesmaids to get everyone else dancing. He still said no.

I asked if he feels insecure about dancing in front of people (he's in a rock band though and is generally very confident) and he said it wasn't that, so I suggested a few dance lessons-still said no.

So I'm having to come round to the fact we probably won't be dancing to a special song at our wedding. Anyone else not doing one? xx


  • kp8895kp8895 Posts: 345
    me! i'll admit i'd love to have a first dance. i'm a huuuuugge strictly fan and would love to waltz round with my hubby on the big day and feel like a princess....

    but for a start i know it would turn my h2b to stone to have to dance in front of other people. and secondly, if you thought kate garraway was rubbish then he is worse. i love, love, love him to bits but i don't think i could put him through that....he's got one move, he moves his legs side to side and moves his hips back and forth. it's hilarious when it's in our living room but i know he wouldn't do it anywhere else....

  • Our wedding is too small to have dancing at all, but I doubt we'd have had a first dance even if we went for music and dancing. H2B hates being the centre of attention and is anxious enough about everyone looking at him on the day as it is, so I doubt very much I could persuade him to get up and DANCE with everyone watching - I suspect he'd need a good few beers first image
  • Me!!!!

    a) neither of us can dance

    b) can't bear the thought of 120 pairs of eyes watch us as we do little more than sway round a dance floor

    c) I've always just been adamant that I'd never have one as I just don't really like them if I'm brutally honest.

    We'll probably get all the children up (I know my neices and nephews are mad on dancing!) and just bop around with them for a bit, a token effort shall we say!

  • Me. H2B can't dance, and if I am honest with myself neither can I. It's a tradition I don't quite get. I want people up and partying not listening to a slow song. Out wedding is also too small...and on the beach.
  • Me too!

    I hate dancing, h2b hates dancing - so no point to start dancing on our wedding.
  • I dance traditional Brazilian samba and am generally quite a good dancer so it doesn't really phase me, but we didn't want our reception to turn into a cheesy disco type thing with too loud music, more of a funky lounge bar type feel (which is what we're going to aim for).

    So I think having read some of your comments, I can deal with not having one. H2b is NOT a dancer (he has great musical rhythm...just not in his feet!) so I'll let him off the embarrassment!

    Thanks ladies!xxx
  • vicster1ukvicster1uk Posts: 1,085
    i am really not keen on having one! h2b not a great dancer and im sure he is dreading although he wont admit it and we cant decide on a song and i think i will have been stared at enough by then. i kind of like the idea of getting "by with a little help from my friends" played as my first song and request that everyone gets on the dance floor. as much as it is our day we will have rest of our lives to dance together but you only get one chance to dedicate a dance to everyone else you know and love. we have a beatles tribute band as our band so it would be a good version. do you think this is a cheesy idea? i have been mulling it over for a while and not sure if it is crap or good so thanks for this thread. feel free to say is you think its rubbish!

  • We're not - or in fact any music at all at the reception, for several reasons. Firstly loads of my family are pretty deaf and if there's loud music they can't hear anything at all - so they'd be miserable. Secondly we'd rather spend the money on something else due to our quite tight budget (well, it's not too tight, but I'd rather have nice luxe things that we really want and do without other stuff we're not bothered about), and thirdly I can't imagine anything more cringeworthy than having all our family and friends staring at us dancing. At other weddings I've always found it really romantic, I just don't think I could handle it myself! I am a bit worried that people will be a bit surprised and won't have as good a time, but we're planning to wrap everything up by about 6 anyway so I figure if they want a big night out then they can just do that afterwards?! I am getting married in London so there's no shortage of places to go!
  • ShimmsieShimmsie Posts: 568
    My H2B is also very anxious at being the centre of attention and he can't dance for toffee....bless him! We are going to have a first dance but at the same time, we are going to ask our singer to invite everyone else up to dance with us. We think it would be lovely to spend this time with our friends and family rather than moving from side to side on one spot whilst everyone looks on!!

    Our first dance is going to be a boppy Frank Sinatra number so should get the party going!!
  • lozzyuk1lozzyuk1 Posts: 1,910
    we didn`t have a first dance.we both didn`t want one them got talked into it and chose a song then decided we really didn`t want was playing music a bit louder than background music then he put a westlife song on which we didn`t know he was going to play and it is my mums fave song so her and dad started to dance then hubby`s mum and dad and then my brother and his wife.then the dj put a really dancey song on and basically said everyone dance and they did! i think people expect a first dance partly through tradition but mainly because no one wants to be first to dance if you two haven`t - like they want you to officially start things then it`s ok for everyone to get why not have a nice song for the 2 parents to dance to then everyone gets`s like a social faux pas if you dance before the bride - it`s just seen as the right thing to do so you have to have a way to let them know it`s ok to dance!!if you know what i mean lol xx
  • I recently got married in September and could not imagine not having that first dance together. It was great, yeh we swayed a bit but heh it was fun. We kissed, laughed, smiled, waved at our friends and family and then we were joined by everyone else.

    I understand its not for everyone and believe me my hubby is NOT a good dancer but even he reluctantly admits it turned out better than he thought.

    Remember that the man is the head of the household but the woman she is the neck and can turn him anyway she wants ;\)
  • We weren't gonna have a first dance mainly because I hate being the centre of attention but when the time came we were forced to have 2!!!! The first time we were thrown up and told dance and the second which was when a few more people had arrived we were cajoled into it!! I hated every minute of it! And everyone left us all by ourselves too! Soooo embarrassing!
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