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Proposal Dilemma (4 a friend)

I have a friend about to propose to her gf!! (very exciting) . She is with me now just in case any of u think this is a really weird post! anyway some advice sought.

both young, 20ish. Friend really worried about asking ''permission'' from the parents but thinks she should. gf's parents really aren't keen (understatement) on the whole gay relationship thing, but are coming to terms with it. So she really wants to know: should she ask? and if so HOW?



  • does anyone have any experience asking your other halfs parents?? Or made a decision not to?
  • Hi there

    My girlfriend proposed to me without asking my Dad and I would not have expected her to. I really think its an older tradition about ownership of women which in this day and age is long out of date! If her gf's parents aren't too keen then why put yourself through it. It will probably be a whole lot easier to tell them together once you have proposed, which is what we did!

    Not sure that helps or not! x
  • hmmm, I hadnt thought about the women ownership thing thats a good point,

    would they not respect her more for asking, not going behind backs?

    Thanks for the reply btw, we were concerned noone wd!

  • supertabbysupertabby Posts: 1,125 New bride
    If she asks - aren't they likely to say no? Given that her parents are only just coming to terms with things, and that they're both very young. It might be better to wait until they're a bit older and the parents are more used to the idea of their relationship.

    And if she asks now she'll be in a worse position with regards to them repsecting her as she'll have to go against them if she still decides to propose.

    [Modified by: supertabby on January 30, 2009 07:13 AM]

    [Modified by: supertabby on January 30, 2009 07:14 AM]

  • supertabbysupertabby Posts: 1,125 New bride
    Deleted - my edit wasn't working so tried to explain myself and then my edit worked.. grrr!

    [Modified by: supertabby on January 30, 2009 07:16 AM]

  • Hi supertabby, thanks for the reply, hate those IT gremlins! lol

    As a young bride myself I really don't think their ages (21/24) should hold them back, but as a soon to be married 23y old I'm probably biased!

    Here's a reaponse from friend:

    Hmm this is all quite negative isn't it?? I don't think I'm a normal lesbian lol - although I can see where ur coming from I don't agree!

    It seems that these replies are helping me clarify my true thoughts on the situation - that I may not ask them out right but I'd be happy to sit down with them together with X and involve them with the decision after the original proposal. What do you think?
  • .

    [Modified by: stepfordwife on January 30, 2009 12:03 PM]

  • grrr- db post! gremlins!!
  • louise1981uklouise1981uk Posts: 1,031
    What about asking the gf first, and then after going to the parents and asking for their blessing. This way you are still involving them and showing them thta thier opinion counts rather than just telling them, but she will avoid the issue of what to do if they say no and she still wants to propose.
  • BambagirlBambagirl Posts: 7,506
    Hi everyone. I'm hetero and I don't know if my input is relevant but for what it's worth, my partner & I got engaged and just told everyone (parents included) afterwards.

    It's probably quite old-hat now to ask the parents' permission but louise_1982's idea of asking for their support and blessing afterwards is a good one. It means you still value their input and also you want to include them in your happiness.

    Best of luck to you both!

    Bambagirl x
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