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Gutted

Just told my Grandma about having a civil partnership next year. Have told my Dad, my Mam so far and no one is happy about it. They all just say 'oh right' and go all tight lipped with disapproval. I feel like I could cry.

Posts

  • chin up, im sure they will all be there on the day, some older people dont show emotion as we younger ones do, stiff upper lip and that. give em a couple of days and ask them what they think.
  • My Mam is starting to come round. She has started talking about stuff like venues and what she will wear but I know my Grandma's opinion is that I shouldn't tell anyone about my 'friend.' She doesn't mean to upset me but it still hurts.
  • Oh that'sawful. We have been so lucky as everyone hasn't batted an eyelid but know how lucky we are.



    They will probably come round and get used to it. f they dont then dont let it ruin your day! It is your day about your love for W2B so enjoy it!
  • Thanks image)

    I know what you mean just wish they might have at least said congratulations like they do if someone tells them about a wedding. My partners family seem quite excited about it and go to the opposite - we have to remind them it's our decision what to have/where to have/what to wear lol.
  • How long have you got till the big day?



    My mum loves my partner but for months seemed totally uninterested. Only now when we have 7 months to go is she taking an interest so it might just take time.



    Plus for older people it just wasn't done so it is a huge deal for them, but if they love you and see that you are serious and totally right for each other I'm sure they'll come round and be happy for you.
  • We are hoping for next August but not actually booked it yet. We have decided on a venue. Have bought a dress from ebay now but not sure if it's right. Doesn't fit either so going to lose weight then try it on again and see if it's right!



    I do hope they come round. I really want to be able to talk about how excited I am. If the dress isn't right then I would have liked my Mam and Grandma to go dress shopping with me and do all the fun stuff.
  • Maybe you should go dress shopping to get them involved?



    Once you have a date set I think it will seem real and I bet they come round.



    My mum has only started taking an interest in the last 2 months despite having been planning a year and a half.



    I thiknk once things are coming together it will be more real for them.



    Perhaps you could involve them in viewing venues and picking a colour theme?
  • My Mam has said today that I can go over hers and try my dress on to see what she thinks which is good. I guess I only told my grandma today so she might change with any luck! I know that she likes my partner as she told me she was a 'lovely girl' not so long ago. I think they stil live in hope that I'll bring home a fella one day!!
  • Nah, they'll soon realise your serious and not just on a whim.



    I think you are probably stressing about their response more than you need to and over analysing it.



    The dress trying sounds good. If you all like it you could have a girly day trying veils and shoes etc - even if you don't really want a veil it is something 'bridey' you can get their opinion on.



    Maybe have a spa day for the 3 of you and discuss their outfits and colour themes. Make it fun.
  • EriksfjordEriksfjord Posts: 123
    Hi Mushroom82,

    I am gutted too. I have had to come to the decision not to tell my mother. She has had 20 years to come to terms with my lifestyle and when I was going to tell her she launched into a real homophobic rant!

    Sorry that you have not had support from your family.

    Take care

    x



  • BambagirlBambagirl Posts: 7,506
    It's rather sad that your families can't be supportive of you and your plans for your big day. I have a close friend who is gay and I found out for myself that she doesn't do "loud and proud" - initially I couldn't understand this but another friend told me later that none of us needs to provide ammunition for others to hurt us.



    To me though it's VERY sad that families and loved ones can't be accepting of whom a person is. It's not a "lifestyle" or a "choice", it's real and it's part of a person as much as their ethnicity or body-type. Unfortunately because things are only moving slowly, it'll be a while yet before the rights of gay people are wholeheartedly accepted and celebrated by others. Legislation can't change what is in people's hearts, they can only change that for themselves.



    I recently met up with old friends from 30 years ago. Their 3 sons are now grown up. These parents had their boys' photos proudly displayed. The oldest and youngest are married to women and I was told their wives' names. The middle son is gay and his father had just as much pride showing me a picture of him with his partner. I was glad for all three of their sons that their parents were accepting and proud - and that they held their children's partners in high esteem too.



    Plan your wedding together with your partner and be happy you're going to make it as special and meaningful as you can for yourselves. Family members who refuse to attend or don't take your relationship & commitment seriously, or act "ashamed" are not doing themselves any favours. Be assertive and get on with being happy together.



    If it's any comfort, remember that the parents of a lot of hetero couples are also miserable and unsupportive - read some of the entries on "2nd time around Brides" Forum if you don't believe me!



    Best wishes for your future!



    Bamba xx
  • mrsg2b_2010mrsg2b_2010 Posts: 1,259
    Aw, really sorry to hear that!! I dont see how people just cant be happy that you have found 'the one' just because they are the same sex, To be honest, does it really matter???



    As bamba said, just go about planning your wedding with your partner and im sure your day will be the best!



    You never know, by the time the wedding comes round they may have come round to the idea!!



    Hope you have a lovely wedding xxx
  • EriksfjordEriksfjord Posts: 123
    Hi Guys,



    Thanks for the support - I needed that right now! Am getting on with the planning - the up side is that it gives us more spaces for friends in the day. The other possible plus point is that it means I can ask my Dad and his wife to come. My parents have split and both re-married but having them in a room together is difficult to say the least. My partner will have all her family there so I am hoping he will come (he lives in portugal!)

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