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Dad isn't happy...

(I've already posted this in emotional Support... but thought you guys could help tooxxx)



So I've been mulling over posting this for a while and I jsut wanted to hear other people's points of view on a situation that is starting to really stress me out now.



My partner Amy and I have been together for over two years now and got engaged last July. We've been friends a lot longer than that. My dad has never acknowledged Amy as my partner or actually acknowledged the fact that I'm gay. We're planning to get married next August and have booked the venue. Again my dad hasn't acknowledged it despite several nudges from me. So almost a month ago I decided to send him an email, just saying that although I know the whole situation isn't his cup of tea, I would really love him and his partner to be there on the day. I told him that if he didn't want to be a part of the wedding it doesn't matter, if he wants to sit at the back it doesn't matter - whatever he wants to do it doesn't matter, I just really want him to be there.



I have had no reply. Nothing. I've nudged him a couple of times by text (he's at the other end of the country so I can't pop in) and tried to call him a few times but no response. I'm just starting to find it really upsetting now as I feel like he needs to at least TRY and be happy for Amy and I. Everyone else in my family has accepted it and is happy, so why can't he be? My mum passed away three years ago so I can't get him to talk to her.



I feel a little cheated as, when he got together with his partner two months after my mum passed away I didn't bat an eyelid. As long as he's happy. Now that he's moved her into his house, I don't mind as long as he's happy. I feel like I'm the one being the adult here.



Sorry for the rant guys. Would really appreciate your thoughts.

Posts

  • mushroom82mushroom82 Posts: 219
    Aww that's awful hun. It is really hard when your family aren't accepting. I had trouble with mine for years and I know how upsetting it can be. I don't know what to say other than I hope he comes round. He will regret it if he doesn't.



    Regardless, you still have each other and I hope your day will be a happy one whatever he does.
  • Miss_PenguinMiss_Penguin Posts: 1,020
    How well do you know his partner? Can you mention to her that you're waiting for him to get back to your email? Is it possible that he's just being a bit crap at replying?
  • EriksfjordEriksfjord Posts: 123
    Hi Laura,

    As you know I have the same situation with my Mum and have made the decision not to invite her because of all of this. I really don't know what to say except that I hope that your Dad thinks about this properly. I have spent 20 years trying to get my Mum to accept my sexuality to no avail. Whilst I have managed to maintain a relationship with her she will not come to my house, visit me or even give me a +1 invitation to family events. Like you I feel like the grown up in the situation. I guess that the reality is that my Mum has chosen not to accept me for who I am. Although she is still my Mum I guess that we will continue to have a half relationship whilst she does not accept my partner. I acted as her support for her wedding to her husband last year but was not allowed to bring my partner to her wedding because she doesn't want her family to know. I really hope this works out for you with your Dad. Good luck. x
  • Cheers for all the support guys.



    As it is i texted my dad another little reminder and he replied that him and his partner will be there. I'm a happy bunny now image
  • EriksfjordEriksfjord Posts: 123
    Hi Laura,



    I am so pleased for you.



    Best of Luck

  • reneebreezereneebreeze Posts: 168
    Aww thats great news! For others reading this and wondering what to do my advice would be - you can only ask the question so many times before you feel like its begging - dont allow your magnificient day to be overshadowed by this and continue planning etc without him. Although it would be wonderful to have all your family there - ultimately the people who love and support you will go out of their way to come and those who chose to miss it - well, its their loss! This day should centre around you and your wonderful wife to be and those who want to celebrate that with you. Forget the rest.

    Perhaps Im just a cold hearted b**ch?
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