What do you think of your mother in law to be?

This will be my 2nd marriage but my partners 1st. My partner is 5 years younger than me and his mum had him when she was only seventeen. Because of this it makes her only 12 years older than me and god does she think she's somebody. I get the impression she hasnt liked me from the start as id been married before and got 3 boys from my previous marriage (which didnt end up in divorce because of me). I dont think im good enough for her precious son. Does everyone else get on with their mother in laws or is it just me? Ive chosen a long ivory wedding dress and she's told another member of the family that im going to be mutton dressed as lamb which has really upset me. She is not helping towards the cost of any part of the wedding yet she doesnt agree with what we want.


  • Well i DO get on well with my Mother in law to be. To me? shes lovely however, I know that the other daughters in law despise her!!

    She is a very in your face kind of woman & she will tell you what she thinks...well.. actually when she told the world that the other sons wedding last year was... " been to better been to worse!" so she prefers to moan to anyone that will listen.

    She has bad mouthed both daughter in laws.. so lord only knows what she says behind my back!! At the same wedding.... .she was so pissed off with the bride for not involving her that she decided to smoke a - lets call it a special' cigarette (she hasnt done it for many years) and puked all over my feet at the table in this very posh place!!! she was wearing an £800 outfit & i was wearing a cream trouser suit!!! (shes 63!!!!!!!!! lol) not pleasant!

    However, in the meantime, we get on well... i have learned that.. if u treat her with respect, visit occasionally & let her know what im doing with regards to the wedding.. then she is putty in my hand! Wonder how long that will last!

    [Modified by: Curvy on January 16, 2009 01:23 PM]

  • God poor you! my ex mother in law was a stuck up moo, a bit like her, my new one to be is ok towards me but puts on us all the time! ringing every day 2 or 3 times and wants us to visit every weekend! wouldnt worry bout your dress, mine is Ivory too, and (42)yr old and daughters tell me its gorgeous! im sure your husband will like and hes the one who loves you! Jo
  • whitestaffywhitestaffy Posts: 1,175
    dont they say men pick their wifes like their mothers are, mine speaks her mind if she dont like you she will say, i get on great with her as i to speak my mind, i had to meet my h2b family on my own scince then they think the world of me unlike his brothers wife,
  • sarahrobsonuksarahrobsonuk Posts: 3,266
    Unfortunately my htb's mother died 13 years ago when she was only 42, so i will never know.
  • Unfortunately my mother in law to be doesnt think much to me either. We sound very similar Julie! Its my 2nd time and he is younger than me also. We have decided to keep our distance as much as possible to try to avoid any clashes but she has been bitching behind our backs to his brother so great fun! NOT! We just hope that she will be able to hold her tongue on the day eek!!!
  • I have to say MIB2b is lovely, an absolute star. Was at her other sons wedding last Saturday and she asked me if she lookes okay me like I know anything about fashion! LOL. Told the truth she looked fab!
  • My MIL2b is really lovely. This will be a second marriage for both of us, and she has always said that Simon & I seem much more suited than he & his first did.

    The only thing bugging me at the moment though is that we will probably be getting married in her home town, so she's been helping out by trying out restaurants and so on for us so we can narrow the field before we visit in June, but she doesn't seem to grasp what I really want from this wedding. She says that everywhere we've sent her to have a scout at has been lovely but not really appropriate for a wedding reception! Hopefully when she visits at the end of the month we'll be able to convince her that we aren't looking for a traditional wedding reception venue, just somewhere elegant, with good food where we can have a party.

    [Modified by: Pastry Fiend on March 13, 2009 01:25 PM]

  • I love my MIL2B. :\) I don't know where i'd be without her, she's an angel. xxx

    oops! I'm not second time around though image

    [Modified by: christmas-bride on March 13, 2009 11:45 PM]

  • landy40landy40 Posts: 47
    i must be really lucky, as my mil2b is great, and i still keep in touch with ex mil . she was in my life for 16 years, and is my kids granny, although we dont live near each other anymore.

    at the end of the day it is you and h2b that count so dont worry about it, and just enjoy your day
  • I'm lucky as my MIL2b is lovely, she has a fab relationship with H2B and although she lives close by shes not in our faces as such, shes also much younger in her outlook on life than her real age, shes 60 and her husband is 39!

    I'll be gaining a stepMIL as well and shes just as lovely, we only see her a few times a year as her and my FIL2b have a house in France as well as here and spend half their time at each. We saw them last month and then won't see them again until June when they come back and then again in August when we have a week at their France home, but we keep in quite regular contact via email and text. Infact all off H2B's family (siblings and step siblings) are lovely as are his friends. I really like them, they like me and my family and freinds like H2B, for me its totally different from last time. I was very young last time and quite insecure and needy, this time I'm older (37 compared to 20) and have had several years of being my own single person before meeting H2B, the fun and adventures I had in those years has made me a different person image

    [Modified by: HT72 on March 20, 2009 11:13 AM]

  • greenpeaukgreenpeauk Posts: 598
    My MIL2B is a lunatic. I actually get on with her ok but she is wildly insecure, talks for several hours at a time without drawing breath, name drops for Britain and spends most of her time blaming her problems on other people (an unfortunate tendency which she seems to have passed on to H2B though I am trying to wean him of that one....) and when my Mum met her for the first time(and if she has any say in it, only time) for Christmas Day, she didnt get more than 3 words in edgeways for the entirety of the festivities,

    periodically throwing rolled eye glances at me, which did little to help!

    Other than that her heart is in the right place, and she can be very helpful and supportive. I find her more bearable now as I have learnt the art of letting the conversation roll over me and just uttering the odd "mmmm...." or "really...?!" and it seems to do the trick!

    We dont see her much at the moment as her and H2B havent spoken since January due to the fact that several of our guests got the Wedding Accommodation List before her!

    [Modified by: greenpea on March 20, 2009 11:41 AM]

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