Can 2nd timers wear a big dress? (Too right they can!!!!!)

Hi ladies, just wondered if anyone else who's a 2nd timer is having difficulty with their dress choices? I got married for all the wrong reasons to a aman who turned out to be cruel and horrid last time but had the mother of all huge dresses, it was a real "this aisle ain't big enough for the both of us" kind of dress! Am now wondering what everyone will say if I wear something other than a straight dress this time. Have bought my dress which is very different to 1st one on top but is still relatively full. It's not white as didn't feel right having the same colour but am just having difficulty with the whole dress thing as although this is a completely different wedding in every way possible, my tastes have not changed that much and I secretly would love another big frock. Any thoughts 2nd timers??? XX



[Modified by: EmmyW on 21 June 2007 15:05:36 ]



[Modified by: EmmyW on 21 June 2007 15:08:00 ]
«13

Posts

  • JazzdivaJazzdiva Posts: 9
    I'm getting married for the second time and I'm going for it!!!! My Mum is expecting me to wear a twin set & pearls and she is in for a shock! When I got married the first time I stupidly listened to someone who I no longer see, and they told me I would look ridiculous in the dress I wanted so I changed my mind. It's your day, you wear what you want - there are no hard and fast rules - you will look stuning whatever, but if you have the dress you really want then you will look even better. If it's tradition you are worried about then what's tradition? Tradition is what you make it - go out and enjoy yourself!



    I'm having such a good time organising my second wedding, because I no longer care what anyone else thinks, We're planning the day to suit us, and not everyone else - so go for it! imageimage;\)
  • Emmy, get the dress you want and feel happy in. I think you have to chuck tradition out the window for a second wedding.....tradition is all about the virginal bride and, let's face it, we're none of us that!!! This time round, it's about finding Mr (finally) right, and having a bloody good party to celebrate!!!! My new motto.....'if it feels good, do it!'
  • rammyukrammyuk Posts: 1,608
    i an second time & MY DRESS IS reD & BIG
  • YOU ARE STILL GETTING MARRIED!!!!! i dont think it matters if it is your 2nd time...its the first time you doing it with this guy isnt it! Go for it hun have the dress you love!
  • TPT16TPT16 Posts: 222
    I agree with the others go for it i'm having a big dress and train 2nd time round xx
  • emmalouisetemmalouiset Posts: 1,291
    Thanks ladies! Feel much better now. I agree with Jazzdiva though, my mum initially wanted me in a "nice skirt with a smart jacket" with a string of pearls but eventually got into the swing of it a bit more. not going for a veil though as hated mine last time and as we're getting married in December I'm worried it'll be blown to bits or rained on. Would love to see some links to everyone's 2nd time dresses if anyone is posting theirs! XX Emmy
  • TPT16TPT16 Posts: 222
    http://www.jmez.net/gallery/album09/777_G



    is the dress i think i'm ordering
  • Tori28ukTori28uk Posts: 781
    Both those dresses are lovely! I expecially love the one you are ordering (its not too different from mine).



    I'm not a second time bride but notice the subject line from the message formum and felt I just had to say GO FOR IT!!!



    It's still your wedding day and you should feel a million $.
  • My dress is http://www.foreverbridals.com/gownpix.asp?Style=46211 so much nicer in reality. I went for a very small wedding last time, didn't want the dress etc but this time I am gonna love it. If you want the big dress go for it, I agree it does need to be abit different from last time but that is more for you than for anybody else. My friend is doing my flowers and has been told nothing remotely like daisies cos thats what I had first time and this time is going to be so much better.
  • emmalouisetemmalouiset Posts: 1,291
    Wow!! Gorgeous dresses ladies. Love all of them. Any 2nd timers wearing a veil???
  • beverleygbeverleyg Posts: 42
    Hi, Im 2nd time round and Ive definitely decided on a big dress! But having decided that, Im struggling to come to terms with a train! Somehow I do feel thats bit over the top cos its 2nd time round (funny how we all have a view about what we think will be acceptable isnt it). But chief bridesmaid (my daughter) says I should go for it cos my H2B and his family never saw what I wore first time round! But Im still not sure. I think the big dress will give some relatives something to talk about never mind a full on train. Help. Am I becoming paranoid for no good reason or is the whole train thing just too much 2nd time round. :\?
  • fairy_magikfairy_magik Posts: 423
    I think 2nd timers are allowed to wear wehatever they like altho most 2nd+ brides wear gold or more vibrant colours and it works, good luck
  • emmalouisetemmalouiset Posts: 1,291
    BeverleyG I know what you mean!!! I so want H2B to be blown away with the whole kit and caboodle if you know what I mean but somewhere in the back of my mind I can hear some people making comments or comparisons. Have spoken to H2B and he says he'd love to see me in a big dress but that what he wants more than anything is for me to feel beautiful. I say go with what makes you feel fab and sod the rest!!! Have already convinced my Mum that a twinset and pearls is something the queen or someone's granny wears and not a 31 year old bride!!!! Good luck and if you love the train, wear it; I'm sure it's gorgeous!!!!
  • sababeuksababeuk Posts: 6
    Hello Girls, am also a second timer, although date only set for Aug 09.

    Glad to hear people are doing what they want and not conforming to the idea of "a suit for the 2nd time". One problem I have though is that all the dresses seem to be strapless and I have these amazing bingo wings. Am also not so happy with idea of a bolero as am afraid i will be too warm.

    Any ideas?
  • TPT16TPT16 Posts: 222
    Quoted:
    Both those dresses are lovely! I expecially love the one you are ordering (its not too different from mine).



    I'm not a second time bride but notice the subject line from the message formum and felt I just had to say GO FOR IT!!!



    It's still your wedding day and you should feel a million $.


    Thank you





  • I'm also having a big dress this time round. I originally thought I'd have to have something a bti less showy but then thought s*d it it's my day! it's this dress: http://www.alfredangelo.co.uk/index.cfm/fuseAction/COLLECTIONS.productDetail/fromAdvancedSearch/0/productID/f5179334-c44d-492f-b84d-5c36a77575df/categoryID/32e5a88c-cbf1-498f-afcf-dbfca138c5d3





    hope that worked it seems a very long link! No veil but it does have a train. the good thing is it is separate and easily removed if I want to. I collected it on Saturday and I love it.
  • JazzdivaJazzdiva Posts: 9
    Quoted:
    Hi, Im 2nd time round and Ive definitely decided on a big dress! But having decided that, Im struggling to come to terms with a train! Somehow I do feel thats bit over the top cos its 2nd time round (funny how we all have a view about what we think will be acceptable isnt it). But chief bridesmaid (my daughter) says I should go for it cos my H2B and his family never saw what I wore first time round! But Im still not sure. I think the big dress will give some relatives something to talk about never mind a full on train. Help. Am I becoming paranoid for no good reason or is the whole train thing just too much 2nd time round. :\?


    I don't know about you, but I'm hard pushed to find anything without a train!!! When I got married last in 1996 it was easy, you bought a dress and then stuck a train on it underneath the guise of a big bow! Easy! come the evening do (or in my case when my oaf of a FIL decided to trample all over it with his muddy footprints - a nano second before walking up the aisle) a few nifty buttons and it was off! So I guess what I'm trying to say is try not to limit yourself to looking at dresses without trains, because you may be missing out on a hell of a lot. If you hate trains full stop then that's a different matter, but if you are unsure about a train because of what other people think, then you could be settling for second best. I was the first in my family to get divorced and I have a big family with BIGGER opinions, but now the cracks are beginning to show in their shiny veneer and the boot is on the foot! If you have the support of your daughter and more importantly your H2B, I would say stop worrying, revel in the gossip (afterall only really important people are worthy of gossip) and enjoy it!!!! Go for it - you will look fab!!!!



    xxx
  • JazzdivaJazzdiva Posts: 9
    Quoted:
    Hello Girls, am also a second timer, although date only set for Aug 09.

    Glad to hear people are doing what they want and not conforming to the idea of "a suit for the 2nd time". One problem I have though is that all the dresses seem to be strapless and I have these amazing bingo wings. Am also not so happy with idea of a bolero as am afraid i will be too warm.

    Any ideas?


    I have seen some beautiful lace boleros that won't be too warm, but failing that what about an organza wrap? This needn't be expensive as you can buy metre lenths of organza of any colour at decent fabric shops/department stores and then just over sew the ends to stop it fraying. Either a simple knot or a nice diamante brooch can hold it in place. Depending on your size and how long you want the wrap, you can get away with between 1.5 & 2 metres of fabric - if you are a dab hand with the needle, you can also sew on some sequins or pearl beads to make it shine. It may also be worth looking at Indian/Asian material if you live in an area that has these fantasic shops - the solution need not necessarily be expensive - I'm sure you will look gorgeous whatever you chose.



    Happy hunting



    xxxx
  • BaxterukBaxteruk Posts: 3,373
    You can wear whatever you want, is your day. Im a 2nd timer and will have my choice this time not some jumped up little man telling me what i will have! And both of those dresses are superb, not as big as i was expecting. Also love the alfred angelo one, saw something similar in pronuptia and it was double that price!!

  • giseleukgiseleuk Posts: 24
    You go for it girl! I am getting married for the 2nd time in July and I am going for a big dress too! last time I got talked into a simple dress by ex hubby and I didn't feel very included in the organisation of the wedding, so this time I am having fun!
  • beverleygbeverleyg Posts: 42
    Glad to hear people are doing what they want and not conforming to the idea of "a suit for the 2nd time". One problem I have though is that all the dresses seem to be strapless and I have these amazing bingo wings. Am also not so happy with idea of a bolero as am afraid i will be too warm.





    I too couldnt believe how many dresses are strapless! I have only tried one on with cap sleeves so far but I didnt like that, so tried on the strapless. Much to my surprise, I do actually like them, but like you have the bingo wing thing going on, so the lady in the shop gave me sateen thing, like a pashmina but silky and light, and put it round the back of my beck and then under my arms and tied it behind. Hey presto, an absolutely stunning look, so I may actually have been converted to strapless. Try it and see. Good luck. :\)
  • beverleygbeverleyg Posts: 42
    Quoted:
    You go for it girl! I am getting married for the 2nd time in July and I am going for a big dress too! last time I got talked into a simple dress by ex hubby and I didn't feel very included in the organisation of the wedding, so this time I am having fun!


    It is fun isnt it. I dont remember it being as much fun 1st time, but do remember the dress wasnt exactly what I wanted, mainly cos I got it too early and then fashion changed and it was too late to change my mind (and I also knew my H2B wasnt Mr Right and it was too late to change my mind about that too)! image
  • beverleygbeverleyg Posts: 42
    "I don't know about you, but I'm hard pushed to find anything without a train!!! "



    I went to see a dress maker last night, and she has answered my prayers! I am now going for a dress, with a small train, which can be tied up into a bustle for the evening so I dont have to drag it around with me. I am so excited that I can do the train thing without worrying about it when dancing. :\)
  • sonymesonyme Posts: 425
    Hi ladies,



    I too am getting married for the second time and shall be wearing a big dress. I wanted something plain and simple but saw it & loved it!!!! At the end of the day bugger everyone else, if i feel great and my man loves it to me thats all that matters..



    to sababe,

    A pal recently got married and bought a strapless stress and the shop made small sleeves for it as she was worried about her arms - sounds weird i know but it looked fab!!!!

    Hope that helps!



    jayn x

  • Jo-excitedJo-excited Posts: 271
    Emmy



    I am 2nd time bride and thought, oh I cant wear long dress the train etc, and went to a bridal shop to see a dress (tea length) that I had seen on internet and loved, anyway went and tried it on and it looked awful, explained to lady in shop that I was a second time around bride and didnt want to go OTT and she said but you havnt married this man before, and hopefully because this is the LAST time I am going to get married then I am making the most of it. So am having lovely Gold dress with a bit of a fishtail train, not wearing a veil but am wearing a tiara, and I feel a million dollars in it,, Its Your day Emmy dont live to regret you didnt do want you wanted to or try to please other people, go with your heart on this one not your head,,, isnt that what love is all about, going with the Heart?



    Good Luck -



    ps. GET THE BIG DRESS!!!image
  • emmalouisetemmalouiset Posts: 1,291
    Jo-excited, I too wanted tea length originally but was talked out of the idea and to be honest was completely swept away by the beautiful dresses available and I think your dress shop lady was spot on with what she said. Thanks so much to all the ladies on this thread, it's so nice to hear all your stories and thoughts. Feel much better about everything and am ready to bin the "twinset and pearls skirt suit option" that some people think I should be wearing!!!
  • Stuart42Stuart42 Posts: 201

    Hi,



    I'm getting married for the second time in September, I'm having the big dress with the train, I didn't get to have what I wnated the first time for various reasons, so I making up for it this time.



    It's your day you should have want you want.



    Helen

  • jules22ukjules22uk Posts: 42
    Its strange, I had been in to a couple of shops to ask about how long it takes etc etc and have felt GUILTY for even being there; like I shouldn't be. I have no reason whatsoever to feel guilty and your posts above back that up that I have a right to be there even though it is my 2nd time. thank you all so much, its really encouraging me that I have nothing to be ashamed of. Just wait til my bridesmaid and I hit those shops...! image



    My mum discovered I was thinking of having a 'proper wedding dress' and was incredibly shocked. they havent asked about the wedding since Jan. I think they thought we were going to have a quiet registry office suit type wedding possibly with a quiet meal after and hadn't planned anything yet. Its so obvious that my dad disagrees with our full-on hotel wedding with full dress...but I don't care now!! :\)
  • lctuklctuk Posts: 663
    Hi girls!



    I've been married before. I had everything I wanted, and looking back I still wouldn't change a thing - other than the groom! image



    I too was at 1st thinking I ought to calm it down with the dress. But I know I've found the love of my life, and we want the full works, so that's what we're doing. We've not even bothered to think about what others think!



    Have the big dress if you want, it's the 1st time you'll be marrying your H2B.

    I hope you all have a fantastic day! x
Sign In or Register to comment.