my 1st his 2nd

ok..so me and si have been together for 3 years, he has been divorced for 2 and a bit and he dont seem as excited as me!!



is it coz he is havin doubts ill leave like she did or is it coz he's done it before?



has/ is anyone else here in same situation as me?



id like to hear how you feel.



Lou x

Posts

  • emmalouisetemmalouiset Posts: 1,291
    Not really the same position but I am the other way around, I have been married before (very briefly) but H2B is a first timer. When we first got engaged I was over the moon but was very wary about what everyone else might say or think. I felt very much as though I had let everyone down by getting divorced and so for a while I felt very guilty and tried to play down the wedding. However, once everyone had got used to the idea and I realised they fully supported me I was totally carried away again. I felt such a weight of strange feelings about going through the whole wedding thing again that I ws in a real muddle, even though I knew that I loved H2B to pieces and was so happy to be out of the miserable marriage I was in before. If he didn't love you and want to be with you I am sure you wouldn' t be engaged so try to hang onto that and I'm sure you'll be fine. I hope this helps ! XXX Emmy. P.S I am now a total bridezilla and am more excited about this than anything else ever!! I'm sure H2B will be the same soon. Big hugs!
  • Hi Lou, I am in a simalar situation! It is my 1st time and H2B 2nd he has only being divorced for a short while.....he actualy proposed to me before the divorce had gone through!

    My H2B is excited however in many cases I think the B2B may come across as more excited! I guess it's just a woman thing! My H2B does talk about it with me although it's not on his mind 24/7 like it is mine.



    I wouldnt think you have anything to worry about but if you feel at all worried about your H2B'S feeling etc then I think you should talk to him then it will hopefully put your mind at ease.



    Mrscrabb2b x
  • nessa1812nessa1812 Posts: 52
    Hi

    same situation.(ie my first his second) h2b seemed to be a bit like urs. when I talked to him tho it want that he had no interest he just doesnt have any interest in girlie planning.

    Maybe if u chat to ur h2b he will have a similar reason.(ie typical man.lol)
  • jules22ukjules22uk Posts: 42
    how much of it is simply that he is a man and some men (as I am sure other brides will vouch for) step back a bit from the fine detail of planning a wedding as if the fairygodmother organises it all and lo and behold on your wedding...puff like magic it all appears... image

    I'm sure he is excited. He may well also be stepping back a bit on the plannign to let you have it your way & not risk any queries over how "it was done before". does that make sence??
  • mambobirdettemambobirdette Posts: 470
    Hi Lou, exactly same situation with regards to the my first and his 2nd wedding, same timings and things also although my H2B is being quite good with putting up with my excitedness, understands etc and is also getting involved with the planning.



    I think you need to talk to him about it but i think as the others said, men are just crap at organising things like us and maybe he's just wanting to let you get on with it as he thinks you want to do it yourself??



  • agh I'm so worried about getting jealous on my big day worrying about whether he looked at his ex in the same way or whether people are comparing the two weddings although he says he never loved her and only got married cos he got her pregnant. Has anyone else ever felt this way?
  • My 1st and his 2nd too, and i must admit i quiz him ALL the time over his first wedding, maily because i don't want anything that resembles it, from music played in church, first dance (which will be banned all night) colours of bridesmaids etc. etc. etc........ the list does go on. image But give him his credit their are things which he wants to do on our wedding day which he didn't do first time round, he wants to turn and watch me walk down the aisle, he wants more input in the wedding stuff in general, like flowers he doesn't want to get so drunk he can't remember it etc and it's those little touches that i can't wait for. I know this wedding means soooooo much more to him than the first and we can't wait to begin wedded bliss image
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