3rd Time

Hi I am getting married for the 3rd and last time... I married when I was 20, and he wasnt the one, but been together a few years and thought well why not, registry office and pub all done by 8pm. Dress from New look white silky n short n cross over straps to the back, more a disco dress than wedding dress. I ended it, after just over a year, divorce was granted on his unreasonable beavior, no job arguments drinking and smoking weed, with a baby on the way.

Then I married the man I fancied, I think i may of been confused I knew he cheated on every girlfriend he had, but he had only asked me to marry him not the others, 4 years together some good, and obviously some bad. Anyway found him in bed with one of his many bits on the side to annouce she was pregnant. (reg office and pub, couldnt get married in church at that time).

So this is my 3rd time, I have gone all out for a big sort of first time wedding, its hy h2b 2nd time, his first wife may have cheated still unsure, but evidence is strong etc.

So we are getting married at the local church and then off to a country house hotel for wedding breakfast and eve do. Dress is at my parents house arrangements being made every day, so what can I do to make this one extra special.

We met at a wedding, the funny thing is we met at a wedding in the lake district wven tho we both lived in the same town we never met before, its small town, however we both wernt going to go but did and loved blossemed.


  • Hi

    I do wish you all the luck and hope you H2B treats you the way you deserve to be treated.

    It sounds like you are doing everything you can to make it special, you are having the big white 1st time around wedding, in a lovely church with a lovely country hotel. I think you need to stop worrying about your other 2 weddings and just concentrate on this one. Stop compairing them all otherwise you will get so wrapped up in compairing the weddings to this one you wont actually enjoy this wedding.

    Ill confess to you (I've not mentioned it on here before as I am trying to forget it for my own peace of mind) but I got married aged 19, he started treating me like a doormat and was quite verbally abusive towards me, I ended up meeting someone else, got divorced and then ended up with this boyfriend treating me like dirt too - he left me.

    I moved back to my parents, took 4 years out from dating men then when i sorted out my own feelings and did a load of stuff for myself I started internet dating where I met my current H2B.

    He is just the most wonderful man in the world, I have a kind, gentle and respectful relationship where neither of us are nasty to eachother etc...

    Im now having the big white wedding, and treating it as it were my first, the reason being was I was practically forced into marrying my ex by my mum and her friends and also his mum (she was a priest). I didn't want to get married neither did he.

    Everything about my 1st wedding was done on the cheep - she arranged it all as she had the "contacts", I didn't have a choice on anything, everything was second hand or hand-me-downs (nothing wrong with this if you are an eco-warrier) but I would have liked the choice - she even presented me with someone elses wedding invites from a charity shop - I had to rip out the inserts.

    You see my wedding now is like yours, I want it to be really special, trying really hard to forget and put behind me my previous wedding and now I have got over the dilema of being 40 next year and the possibility of mutton dressed as lamb I did go out an buy the dream wedding dress, i'm having the flowers, the music and the wedding I want (within reason of budget allowance).

    Try to enjoy your marriage arrangements like I am, enjoy all the planning, and perhaps do some of the smaller things differently like make your own invites if you had shop made ones before. Think of things you both enjoy for example we love our allotment - its our hobby and something we do together so we are giving away packets of seeds as wedding favours - this makes it personal to us, our guests will love them as they know its "us" and its something thats relevent to our relationship.

    Sorry Ive waffled so much and this is very long winded but I can understand how you feel as I felt the same as you 6 months ago but you just need to learn to let go and just enjoy it.

    Good luck

  • sventeresasventeresa Posts: 663
    It doesn't matter if this is your third, fourth or eighteenth wedding, who cares!!

    I never had a proper wedding the first time round and our marriage was terrible, I found him in bed with another woman. But I'm so glad I've had that experience because I know exactly what I want and what I don't want in a relationship.

    Have a read of some of the posts on this forum, especially the one about bigger wedding second time around. There is plenty of advice, stories and comments on there which will probably be of use to you too.

    Finally, don't put yourself down about having a bigger better wedding third time round. If you know this man is definitely the one then to hell what everyone else thinks. What people seem to forget is that you have been through divorce and as you know it's not something any of us would want to do again therefore we do not take the decision of getting married again lightly. Even moreso if you have got children from your previous marriage.

    If this third wedding is going to make you happy forever then please go and celebrate it to what ever extent possible - you deserve it.

  • charli159charli159 Posts: 449
    Think of this as your first proper marriage...your having the big white wedding and your going to last. Forget about the others because they werent right for you.

    Make it special by not comparing him or the wedding, and do all the traditional things like stay at your parents the night before.

    I wish you best of luck x
  • kikki21ukkikki21uk Posts: 1,114
    This will also be my third time and I am 41!

    I waited ages for my first h2b to propose, he was very anti marriage as his parents had a very unhealthy marriage, got divorced, his mum had cancer and died... it led to him and his brothers and sister to have a less than attractive childhood.

    It was only after we got married that I realised he wasn't right for me. Ok I like being in charge but I had to make all of the decisions in the relationship, he was a complete ditherer and all the family ructions were just too much. We split up but we are still friends.

    We had a lovely wedding day but I sort of think now it wasn't really me...my mum made me dress and it had to be proper etc.

    I met my 2nd husband through work, couldn't stand him at first but when we started working together we fell for each other. He was 14 years older than me which ultimately led to us breaking up. We were together for 8 years in total. He had a lot of unresolved issues from his first marriage too. He was always in a mood (apart from when we were on holiday) controlling, mood swings,work obsessed so I decided to split up. It wasn't a light decision, we had a great lifestyle but he wasn;'t making me happy.

    We went off to Florida to get married and then had a party for close family and friends when we got back.

    Yes this will also be my 3rd and last time! To me this is the chance to get married how I want, within budget of course, I want this wedding to be more me than the other 2 and it will be!

    I guess taylorje this is what you want your wedding to be... I would make everything different to your other weddings but make it more you!

  • jumpyjazzjumpyjazz Posts: 138
    just seen this and had to say its also my third time..never had a dress do or anything for my other two..i was married for 7 years in both my other two martriages (must have the 7 year itch lol) but like others say this feels like its the first time..Im finaly getting my dress and having a party etc

    soooo excited...
  • Third time for me too

    Husband 1 I married 2 years aftr my mother died and I split with a long-term boyfriend,who said marrying husband 1 was the worst decision I would ever make.

    I blasted him off saying it was sour grapes. 4 years later I managed to escape an abusive relationship with domestic violence.

    Husband 2 seemed to be thee genteel gentleman who ticked all my boxes for a partner. We had a daughter together and married when she was 8 months old.

    6 years later I discovered to my horror he had an unhealthy interest in teenage girls and although never prosecuted for the videos and pictures I found on the computer, he remains a sick man.

    I decided I had had enough of men and joined a group called make friends online and chatted to all sorts from all over the world. It was a great way to chat and get some adult conversation on those lonely nights at home as a single parent.

    I met my H2B online one summer evening, we spoke later that evening and he came to visit two weeks later.

    We clicked and he came down every weekend from then on and moved down to my area a year later. We have now been together for nearly 4 years and are getting married in July.

    I hope all the brides on here have as much fun and love as I do.

    Good luck to you all. x
  • Mitme08Mitme08 Posts: 503
    Hello girls came on to have a nosy ,as i got married 3rd time 2yrs this june and been on the web site yrs now and saw this and had to have my 2penneth

    Mrscartertobe i was 50 when i got married in june 08 and i can honestly say i wore the works strapless dress veil the lot and not once did i feel like mutton dressed as lamb i think when we are older we know what suits us and dress accordinly

    i was first married at 16 it lasted 4yrs and he was caught with his trousers down ,my 2nd marriage lasted i think it was 9yrs cant remeber how awful ,then i met my current husband we were together 19yrs when we got married we made it a big family thing my daughter 35 matron of honour my daughter in law bridesmaid my granddaughters 1 bridesmaid 1flower girl my 2 grandsons ringbearers my son usher and my said he would give me away again ...but they keep giving you back lmao it was the best day ever like all of you my previous marriages were very make do and mend so go for it hunnys its so special honest xxxx
  • Im in the 3rd time club too!!!

    I get married this November for the 3rd time and i can honestly say this time feels SO different. I married the 1st time at 18 and that lasted 6 years before we split on reasonable terms. The second time i was 28 and it was nasty. My 2nd husband cheated on me after only 3 months of marriage and i then found out it had been only one of numerous affairs. I stupidly gave him a second chance but i eventually managed to escape him 18 months later. The divorce was nasty and he took me to the cleaners. This time the man i am marrying ( at 32!!!! eek!!!)is the most amazing guy and im just so gratefull he could see past the 2 divorces.

    Just goes to show there is someone out there for all of us.

  • clair4629clair4629 Posts: 12
    Hey ladies I am marrying my soulmate in 2013.

    Married at 19 and 5 months pregnant due to family pressure unmarried mum blah blah, we both knew we didnt want to but felt we shoud, he left me 6 weeks later!!!!!! Never seen his son or wanted to!!!

    I was 22 when i remarried, went on to have 3 more children. We were married for 8 years. During this time he pysically and mentally abused myself and my eldest (From previous marriage) it took me years to get the courage to leave him as my confidence was so low. Only when social services threatened to take my children into care did i find the strength to escape.

    Out of desperation i then went on to marry the next man that i dated, kind sweet guy who treated me like a princess but i had no feelings for him at all except for gratitude for him wanting to be with me.

    1 year later i divorced again.

    So aged 32 i promised my kids it would be just us, thats how it was for 2 years. Lots of councelling, knocked myself down to rebuild and find who i was.

    At 34, i met my current partner, we have been together 2 years and our plan is to marry in 2013(our 5 year anniversary).

    This man is everything i want and need, this time its for keeps

    Kissed alot of frogs but now i've found my prince

    Clair xx
  • bellingtonbellington Posts: 1,662
    Hi ladys,

    Mine will be my 3rd, but its the 2nd time to the same man!!! We split in 2007, my decision, but realised we were soul mates,and i had help to sort my self out,(after my dad dying i completley lost it) The divorce came through last January, but we got back together properley May last year. Everyone was thrilled to bits. We got engaged last October, and are getting re-married September 2011. Its very strange how things work out, but we mean more to each other now, than we did before.

    xx image

  • clair4629clair4629 Posts: 12
    bellington was jayne7 Beautiful story

    Wish you every happiness second time round

    Clair xx
  • bellingtonbellington Posts: 1,662
    Thanks Clair4629

    It just goes to show, you dont know whats round the corner!! Is yours a 1st 2nd or 3rd wedding?

    xx image

  • TopCat1968TopCat1968 Posts: 138
    Hi Girls, 3rd time round for me to, at age 42! I too got married at 19, 3 months after having my son - my loving husband told me he'd leave if I didn't marry him, what a charmer! I had a second hand tea length dress, and was married in a registry office. We had a small party in a church hall, all done on the cheap. Another child, years of abuse and infidelity, and 7 years later, I found the strenth to leave him.

    When I met my second husband I'd convinced myself that I'd be lucky if anyone wanted a single mother. I got married in a suit this time, in a registry office and just a meal with close family afterwards. Although I knew he wasn't the love of my life, we made a decent life together for 12 years, but eventually I knew I needed something more.

    When I met Ian it all fell into place - he is the love of my life. It took 3 years for me to agree to be his wife, and I struggled with the 3rd time thing too. It's his second time. We are going to Mauritius to get married, but I'm having my dream dress and flowers and a big reception when we get back because this time I really want to celebrate.

    What we all have to remember is that we are entitled to be happy, and to show the world that this time we got it right. Good luck to all of us! x image
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