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Church wedding request - 2nd time around


Just wondering if anyone else has made a request to their church for permission to be married in their parish church?

This is my 2nd time and H2B's first and we would like a church wedding therefore we've filled in the request form and I posted it at the beginning of the week and I haven't received a response back as yet.


  • jonnyc0151jonnyc0151 Posts: 89
    do you mean c of e?
  • Yeah sorry should of said CofE church
  • DCQ1DCQ1 Posts: 8
    Hi Caroline,

    We are getting married in a COE church near our home in Devon. We don't currently live in the parish for this church, but we used to so no problems there.

    My H2B is divorced, so we just emailed the vicar and asked him if he would be willing to marry us. He suggested a meeting, during which he asked some questions about H2B's divorce etc (nothing too intrusive- it was all very straightforward really!). He is quite happy to marry us!

    We didn't fill in any forms, but the vicar did fill out a form with our names, addresses etc etc, and that was about it!

    Hope this helps! If there's anything I've misssed- let me know!
  • cupcakelizziecupcakelizzie Posts: 293
    Hi Caroline,

    We are getting married in church also. Like DCQ it is my first but H2b's 2nd time. Our vicar also had a chat with H2b about the circumstances of his divorce, again nothin too personal and based on that he was happy to marry us. I think some vicars are more understanding these days aslong as you are honest with them about why the marriage ended and have a valid reason for wanting a c of e wedding, i.e because its important to you to have a religious ceremony and not just because its a pretty church! We did approach the vicar before hand in person so if you haven't heard back yet perhaps a quick call is in order. If you have a chat with your vicar I am sure he will be helpful.

    Good luck hun & keep us posted xx
  • Hey,

    Thank you for your replies. I had telephoned one church which was within the parish my parents lived and they said no. I then telephoned the church within the parish we live and they sent us a form to fill in which we've done and sent back a week ago and we've not heard anything yet. I think I'll see if we hear anything during this week and if not I'll give the church office a ring next week. I'd just like to know whether its possible or not because if the church says no then we'll have to look at reception venues that can do a civil ceremony too. We've got plenty of time as we're looking at the 7th July 2012 but I'd just like to start the whole planning process.

    Fingers crossed we hear something soon x
  • Just to update, we've had a phone call and the Vicar is coming around to see us next Wednesday ... fingers crossed x
  • shelleyf30shelleyf30 Posts: 3,971
    If they say no you can still have get married in a registary office then have a blessing in the church
  • cupcakelizziecupcakelizzie Posts: 293
    Hi Caroline,

    If the vicar is coming to see you that sounds quite positive to me, especially as the other church said no outright. Fingers crossed for you hun let us know what happens!!

  • lizzyp83lizzyp83 Posts: 139
    Hi Caroline,

    Hope your meeting with the vicar goes well and you get your wish to be married in church!

    My circumstances are almost exactly the saem as cupcake Lizzie and DCQ - my first marriage, h2b's second. We had a lovely chat with our vicar (who's quite young and very cool!) again, just wanting to make sure that my h2b does know what he's doing this time (!!) and that he takes the idea of marriage seriously. As the others said, he asked a couple of questions about why the marriage ended, but nothing uncomfortable - he accepted the fact the they "drifted apart", and was more than happy to marry us. Yeay!

    Hopefully things will just be as easy for you, my advice would just obviously be honest about things to the vicar and dont worry too much about the meeting beforehand! I think the C of E are trying to be a lot more welcoming nowadays, and they really do recognise that some marriages fail for no fault from either person.

    Do let us know how you get on.

    L x
  • Thank you for all your advice, it is greatly received.

    I'm trying my best not to worry about next Wednesday but its easier said than done.

    I'm trying to see the fact that she's coming round to see us as a positive thing because I guess she could of just telephoned and said 'No'. I'm so hoping that when I can explained my ex committed adultery after 14 months of marriage that she'll see that the marriage failed due to his actions and not mine.

    Fingers remained firmly crossed

  • racerbirdracerbird Posts: 49
    I'm getting married in church, second time around for me and first time for my h2b.

    Our vicar(s) have been brilliant. I emailed the contact from the CofE website, he is the leader of the team for that parish and he invited us to come and meet him to chat to us about the wedding.

    We were expecting an interrogation but he was lovely, he was half asleep as it was in the middle of Easter week and he was shattered! He asked a couple of questions, similar to above, what had happened before and what was different about the relationship now and was I sure.

    He will be on holiday for the wedding but agreed we could marry in the church of our choice (where my h2b lives now).

    We met the actual vicar who will be marrying us a few weeks ago, and she is so so so nice and has been one of the most supportive people in our whole wedding planning process, she is so excited for us and thrilled we are getting married in one of her churches.

    On a slightly more financial note, the church we are getting married in is hardly ever used and the parish is teeny tiny. I think the church in general these days has to be more open to people's requests to be able to keep going financially.

    We wanted to be married in the village and there was only one place to do it, which was in church. We aren't religious but decided we wanted to support the church because in such a rural area, it is an important part of the community. The vicar(s) couldnt have been more welcoming and we will be popping in regularly from now on, never thought I would hear myself say it!

    Hope all goes well for you image
  • Update:

    Vicar has said, in principle, she will marry us in Church!! image

    She said the may reason was because the divorce had not been my fault (ex committed adultery) and I had tried to make the marriage work however due to being unable to trust him anymore the marriage.

    I'm so pleased that the Church is a goer, just need to find a reception venue.

  • Hi Caroline,

    I have just popped back to this thread and am sooo pleased for you image It's really great news and I hope you both have the most fantastic day.

  • I found our vicar very offensive to be honest. I have been married before and so was asked why it didnt work, so told the truth in that My ex committed adultry while working away in the forces. He asked me about my daughter and asked me if I only had the one child, I said yes and he said "are you sure" I said yes but steve (my H2B) has a son. So then he turned to steve asking why he never considered marrying his sons mum, how long they were together, whether they lived with eachother. And then kindly pointed out that my ex husband was also named steve. I dont no if he was trying to lighten the subject but I just wanted the ground to swallow me up. Having the church wedding is important to my H2B or else I'd find somewhere else.
  • BambagirlBambagirl Posts: 7,506
    I asked our vicar if Earl and I could marry there (I already attended regularly on a Sunday anyway). Both of us are divorced from our previous partners. Earl has no children. I have 4 but they're all grown-up. Our vicar was wonderful, all he wanted to know was that we'd only been divorced once each!

    I still go regularly on a Sunday and Earl attends occasionally too.

    We had a lovely wedding. I married my first husband at a Register Office, didn't think we could marry in a Church as he was divorced from his first wife. But looking back, I'm glad I didn't marry my first husband in Church, I would've felt worse about the fact we split up if we'd made our vows in a Church.

    Good luck with your plans.

    Bamba xx
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