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Just set the date and already having doubts.

We have being together for seven years and have a little girl who is 2 and a half.



This is my second time around and my oh's first time. We got engaged 3 years ago. We have set the date for July next year but I have being having cold feet on and off since setting the date.



Firstly my Mum passed away 2 years ago so that upsets me at the thought that she will not be there.



Then I worry wether this marriage will alst. I have being to a fortune teller and I feel I should have never gone. She told me the marriage wont last and that he will find someone else! This happened in my first marriage. I feel so scared to commit again and I really never want to go thriugh seperation and divorce again. Especially now we have a child.



I love my fiance very much but do have trust issues with him as I was hurt before.



Am I doing the right thing or should I call it off before we start to pay deposits.



I do at times get excited but then doubt enters my head and I just want to forget about it all. What should I do? image

Posts

  • HummoHummo Posts: 2,115
    Hey hon, didnt want to read and run- I think its a case of "once bitten- twice shy" You understandably have worries after the way your last relationship ended, but you have to address these issues and realise not everyone is going to treat you the same. Have you discussed how you feel with H2B?



    The fortune telling issue is certainly one to take with a pinch of salt- You make your own destiny in life, sometimes things happen that we have no control over, but I think facing your "trust issues" head on, maybe seeing a councilor and certainly discussing how you feel with OH is a good start- as for the wedding being too soon- why dont you look at setting a date abit further off? Why does it have to be in July?



    hope things work out for you, dont bottle things up x
  • MrsMac-FMrsMac-F Posts: 959
    Hi



    I have been in exactly the same position as you are and have had all the same feelings. I got married for the first time nearly 7 years ago, this lasted 3 years (we had a child together too) til he walked out on me and my son on Boxing Day 2006. To be honest, I never thought that I would find anybody else, or that anybody would want me, after all, I was 25, a single parent and nearly divorced, not exactly a great catch! But I did meet someone else, someone who loves me and my son, and yes, it took me a while to trust him, as like the previos poster put, its a classic case of once bitten, twice shy.



    You really have to try and work through the trust issues that you have. At the end of the day, you and your partner have already made the biggest commitment you can to each other by having a child together, so you shouldn't be scared of getting married again.



    You need to try and push all the doubts to the back of your mind and concentrate on the fact that you have a fantastic fiance and a beautiful child together. Good luck xxx
  • Fortune teller ? Did you ask her the lottery numbers ? Because unless you got the euromillions I would ignore that completely !!!!! I think most of us second time around take baggage with us. But you have a child together , that in my book is a bigger commitment than marriage anyway ! Seize the day , you love him , he loves you go for it ! None of us know what is around the corner but all us that have been there before know whatever the circumstances we got through it and we survived ! Wishing you all the happiness in the world xxx
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