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Top Table: Any Suggestions Welcome


I'm in a bit of a quandry and don't know what to do about my top table.

My Mam and Dad have both passed away, so this is who is in the main wedding party.

One of my Brother's who is giving me away. Don't think appropriate to put sister-in-law on top table as it wouldn't go down too well with the rest of the family.

MIL and FIL. that on'e simple enough...

Best Man - He is from Malta, one of the best men I have ever met in my life (apart from h2b of course). Can't put his wife on top table, as their 7 year old daughter will also be coming, only thing concerned with, is that they don't know anyone.

My eldest niece is my CBM, but can't have her partner with her on the top table as their 3 kids will also be there so he needs to sit with them.

And 2 ushers, no partners for them as they are both too young.

My problem is, the ladies are going to be outnumbered by the males...............and we are going to have an odd number...

Please can any of you help me by making some suggestions

Dee x


  • Hi deniseo,

    we're doing most things different from the norm at our wedding, including our top table. We're having a short top table with just me & h2b, a both sets of parents. Then coming off either end of the top table will be the BMaid, BMan etc, but sitting with their own partners and children. We thought it would be better putting people with the family/partners they came with rather than splitting them up and leaving them at a table on their own.

    Alternatively, my cousin didn't have a top table at all at his wedding and had a room full of round tables with the wedding party mixed throughout all the tables. The bride & groom and the parents were then sitting with people of their own ages.

    I think at most venues you can do whatever you want, everybody's situation is different. Maybe you could also speak to your contact at the venue who might have more suggestions for what they have arranged for other weddings in the past.
  • deniseoukdeniseouk Posts: 1,920 New bride
    Hi there

    Thanks for your reply.

    Problem is with MIL2B, she thinks we have to have the top table (makes her look important even though she's not really interested in the wedding).

    I think I'm finding it so hard because of my Mam and Dad not being there if you know what I mean.

    Same as I won't be giving MIL2B a gift at the wedding.

    Think I might have Best Man's wife on top table with him and have seperate table supervised by teenage ushers for main kids in the family, that way BM's daughter could sit on that table.

    Thanks x
  • That sounds a good arrangement. If your brother is at the top table also, that should help balance things out too.

    My cousin (the groom) decided on the 'no top table' idea as my aunt had recently passed away, but he took the opportunity in his speech to thank both sets of parents for their love and support, especially those that are with them on this special day in spirit.

    I don't think you should worry about balancing the number of males and females, quite often there are more females because of bridesmaids. I can't say I've been to a wedding where that has got my attention, it's your day and your guests will be too busy looking and you and your H2B. image
  • deniseoukdeniseouk Posts: 1,920 New bride

    You're right, balancing numbers doesn't matter, think the person I'm most bothered about is best man, if his two older children also come with the 7yr old will definately have his wife on the top table.

    And you're right balancing numbers doesn't matter as long as h2b and I are happy with the arrangement.

    Thanks again

    Dee x
  • myersnukmyersnuk Posts: 237
    We had a round top (Main table) hubby and I we facing out and everyone else fitted around. Worked perfectly!
  • FeeFee232FeeFee232 Posts: 1,159
    Hi Dee

    Its your day and if by having a top table is going to upset you that much don't have one.

    Alternatively there could be just you and Husband to be with the most important members of the family and tables either side of you with children etc.

    Hope this suggestion is of some use.

    Best wishes.

  • deniseoukdeniseouk Posts: 1,920 New bride
    Thanks Fee

    Still not a 100% sure yet, will definately be having a top table, but think with main wedding party on it, will be more guys but what the hell, as long as I'm sat with m2b that's the main thing.

    Unluck for MIL2B though as she will be sat next to my brother who is giving me away, and he's a right gob x
  • My parents have passed too, so have my h2b's, we had the same dilemma with bridesmaids/best man/brother's children etc. In the end we decided to have a "sweetheart" top table with just the 2 of us on it and everyone else on round tables in like a horseshoe shape in front of us. That way everyone can sit with their families/children and we actually get to spend a bit of time together on the day!!
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