Mum booked a holiday so not coming!!!

Hi all,

I am really shocked- my mum booked a holiday around the time we were picking our date (1st March) and when I told her we had applied for the church licence she said oh bugger I'm away...

Today she says 'well I haven't changed my holiday - if you don't get your church licence I can see you get married in the registry office a few days before anyway....


Ok I have done this before but the 1st cost £300 and the 2nd was another stingy, cut price make do arrangement which her oh turned up pi**ed to so was a disaster.

This time I have got a Maggie dress, and really think it will be a wedding day to be proud of.

I wouldn't mind if it was the holiday of a lifetime but it is a fortnight in a free friend's villa and flights are £50 to book. image


  • hmc872hmc872 Posts: 158
    oh thats shocking hun! whether its your first or 10th time your mother should be there!!! Families, who'd have them?

    Heather xx
  • sueduksueduk Posts: 12

    Similarly my Mum says she not coming to my wedding, 2nd time around, and yes he is wonderful. We are planning a church service, with a meal in a restaurant afterwards and then a big party for everyone later. But she won't buy an outfit, be happy for me, or give any postive thoughts, its soooo negative, at this rate, we will plan it, and tell her, and hope she will come.

    Good luck:\)
  • camlocamlo Posts: 199
    I thought about it all last night and came to the conclusion I must have upset her (or someone else) so I phoned her husband today and he said 'no don't think so she seems happy enough about not going'

    Oh thanks - just make me feel worse............
  • LinenukLinenuk Posts: 321
    Sounds as if your mum just doesn't think your wedding day is important, Camlo. It must be hard for you but I would get on and have a great wedding day without her. She might be expecting you to change your plans around her. Perhaps once she realises you're not going to, she'll change her tune. But as you say she turned up drunk to your second wedding, maybe she won't.
  • camlocamlo Posts: 199
    aha she's thawing!! Took her shopping today and she couldn't help picking up the scale of our excitement and plans, phoned afterwards to ask if the invitation was still open.............
  • LinenukLinenuk Posts: 321
    I'd still superglue the lock of the drinks cabinet if I were you, Camlo!
  • camlocamlo Posts: 199
    Her husband went teetotal after ruining my last wedding!!! Won't even use alcohol wipes!!!!

    Mum called earlier and said she was going to get an outfit off ebay as she 'has no-one to go shopping with'. Oh right and that has stopped you before??? NOT. The last wedding she went to everyone thought she was mother of the bride because she had the flashest set up.

    I Can't Win xx
  • Hi my mum isnt coming to my wedding because she says i have excluded family from all the arrangements etc and have put friends before family ! I don't think so !!! She even questioned why we had sent them an invite like any other guest !! She made me so mad and upset. I never thought she would do this to me. Now she is saying she will come if she feels well enough. Well im not gonna let her ruin our day,whether she comes or not. Parents hey !
  • toggeruktoggeruk Posts: 186
    This is the unfortunate thing of being married more than once! This will be my second time and I've already had friends say it's not as important as the first - to my face!

    Unfortunately parents can take the same attitude. I'd be telling her you want her there and you can't believe she booked a holiday. Of course, if her holiday was set before your wedding.....
  • My mum was a bit funny to begin with, she gradually thawed and is now has an outfit and we dont get married until Jan next year. Heart goes out to everyone who is having issues with their mam and camlo - seems like she is having second thoughts, hope she comes round image
  • When my H2b and I get married at the end of October my real mother wont even be there and certainly wont even be getting an invite. My 1st wedding day I was held to ransom over the arrangements everything had to go past her! This time although its second time around for me it the first time for the H2b and no one else will be deciding what does and doens't happen or who doesn't attend! Its your day and although first time around you try and please everyone you should do what you like if it the second time. Camlo just one thing it doesn't matter whether you spend 100 or 100000 on your wedding the important thing is the two of you making your commitment to each other!
  • lolly1981lolly1981 Posts: 431
    i understand how youre feeling my mother isnt coming either....i told her in no uncertain terms that i didnt want want my stepdad there...hed been horrible to me my whole life nad hed only be there cos he was made to and for the free food...i think she was relieved as it gave her and excuse not to come anyway at least she wouldnt have to think of something as im sure she never really wanted to come anyway....she even told me that shed been to my first wedding so why does she need to bother seeing me get married again!!!

    so my side of the head table will be bare as dad wont be there either..he passed away 9 years ago so i'll jyst have my sister lol
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