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Help. I cant afford it :(

I no this has been done before on numerous occassions, and your all probably thinking 'oh ffs not again' but i am really panicing and would like some help/reassurance.

Basically, i keep worryng because the cost go up every year and one of the venues we were lookign at, it went up like 8grand from one year to the next altogether, so now i am worrying that no matter how far back i will not be able to aford it. I dont no whether to just book a date and stop dawdling, i keep seeing a number of BM dresses and mens suits/cravats on sale, but i dont get them because i dont no what year we r marrying so i dont no what size everyone will be! I no there will be other sales but still, if i like them i want to be able to get them. i am also useless at saving because i no i havent got a date set so i have nothing certain to aim for.

The only real cost that is bothering me is the venue/food, i can cut costs everywhere and ebay will be my saviour probably, but i cant cut food costs because i have such a huge family (my mum has 16 brothers and sisters plus all other halfs and kids etc it all adds up just her side!)

So basically i am thinkin about getting a part time job or something to help put money aside and save, What do you think would be the best bet? I have got a pub about 2 mins walk from me looking for staff, only problem is i work 8 til 6 most days so arent home until about 6.30, do you think they would understand if i just say i need a second job to help save for a wedding? Or are there any decent home type jobs i can do in my spare time?

My work will pay me £50 for 3 hours overtime on a saturday, but we arent allowed to go in every saturday, its only like one maybe two saturdays a month so i cant count on that!

What should i do?! Help image


  • happytimesukhappytimesuk Posts: 4,074
    Hi! I think the pub would understand....I havent worked in one before, but I assume you wouldnt need to start till 7/8 if you were doing the night shift?

    I think finding the right venue is key to you - with you having so many people to feed!! I know you want the place of your dreams - but finding a cheaper venue, and dressing it your way (cheaply- by doing your own flowers or own centrepieces) might fit in with your budget a bit better? (I mean 8 grand for food-thats crackers!!)

    Also, you could get married on a fri or sun-which will be cheaper. Or maybe get married at 4pm -then dont eat till 6.30 so you dont have to pay for an evening buffet.

    I think once you decideon your venue and book it, you will be much better at saving. I didnt have a penny saved when we booked ours- and now I'm really good!

    I have also got my bms dresses in the sale, so once yours is booked you can look properly,have a great day out with your girls, without panicing. I got mine a year early- got them to fit now, and have alterations nearer the time if need be.

    Its not as expensive as you think if you find the bargains!

    Good luck xxx
  • Hi Rachie - firstly I think these feelings are normal for most people. A lot of people don't really have a true idea of how much a wedding costs until they start organising their own.

    The best thing you can do is set a date. Have you started looking at venues? What we did was gather lots of brochures for places in the areas surrounding the place where we live (Milton Keynes) we looked in Northamptonshire, Bedfordshire, Buckinghamshire and Hertfordshire as it gives you more scope to decide from. We then sat down together and looked through the brochures - turn off the TV and just sit solely to take time to read them. The ones we didn't like were put on one pile, ones we really liked were on another and maybes were on a third.

    H2B then draw up a chart with each place and we marked them for food, situation, accommodation, outside area/how it looks and we worked out a price from the menu plans for each one for 100 people so we got an estimate of the cost involved.

    From this we then got 2 clear winners. One which we didn't bother to look at because it was far too fancy and the internal decorations didn't really meet our tastes. The other we went to look at and fell in love with.

    Obviously the longer away you set the date the longer you have to save. I don't know if you even have a plan of when you want to marry but if you said late 2009 or early 2010 that would give you at least 18 months of saving. You will need a deposit to book the date at any venue so it might be worth finding out how much that would be if you have a clear favourite so you can save enough for that.

    Once you have set the date then you know how long you have to save. We have tried as hard as we can and it is amazing how motivated you become about it. Now when I go to buy myself a new lip gloss or a pair of shoes I always think do I really need this? If I don't then I put the money I was going to save in the wedding fund. It will mean certain sacrifices but you don't have to stop living just maybe cut back on luxuries like holidays, weekends away, new clothes, takeaways etc. I just keep thinking it will be worth it when we have a fantastic day that we will always remember.

    Open yourself a good high interest savings account where you can still get easy access to your money and have that just as your wedding account - set yourselves a rule that you don't take money out unless you are paying for something for the wedding from it. You can sit down and work out what spare money you have each month and set up an automatic transfer as soon as you get paid into that account - if you never had it then you won't miss it, if you don't pay it in straight away then you'll probably end up spending it because it's there.

    Some other tips - save all your spare change in a pot or bottle. If you empty your purse off all the loose change (I do anything under £1 coins) every evening then you can save up quite a bit. We also save £2 coins in a tin that you can't open until it's full - we are opening ours tonight and I think there is going to be nearly £1000 in there - f both you and H2B get into the habit of doing that then it soon adds up.

    Have a good clear out and either try putting some stuff on Ebay or doing a car boot sale - one mans rubbish is another mans treasure and you can make a fair amount by doing this (and clear space too).

    When it comes to stuff for the wedding - you can save money everywhere you just need to be bothered to really source the best prices and suppliers which does take more time but it is worth it. I saved £550 on my wedding dress by buying it direct from the US.

    You will get there hun. It is going to take some real self control, motivation and determination but I think once you have something to save for it is much easier. Once you see the pennies adding up that will then spur you on to look at other ways you can save some money towards the wedding.

    You could get a second job - most pubs don't start the evening shifts till about 7pm, good places to look are in local hotels, country clubs, golf clubs or you could try waitressing at places like Pizza Hut, TGI Fridays etc. My friend works at Pizza Hut and he got £50 in tips alone on Friday night - tax free too which is always handy!

    Hope that has helped a bit. If you want anymore money saving tips drop me an email I've got loads of other stuff I can pass on to you image

  • Rachie1987Rachie1987 Posts: 101
    Thank you both so much, your replies were amazing, and alot of useful tips in there! I think i am just panicing because i didnt realise how much the food would cost!!

    I like the idea of getting all venues info and looking into them, we have found our dream venue but as has been said its alot of money for the number of people we have coming. We live in london so everything seems to be a little higher, although looking at other areas the prices seem to be just as much!!

    I think once i book the venue i will be alot calmer and save because i no i will have to!
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